I have the most wonderful cleaning lady.  I hesitate to call her a cleaning lady because she has become a good friend to me over the past year.  Today I came home to my box filled home and she had done wonders.  When I called her this week I told her I didn't know if I was ready for her to come or not...I mean there are only so many things other people can do right now.  No one but us knows where our stuff goes so it is kind of hard for people to help.  Many have asked but I just don't even know what to tell them to do. 
      So my friend, and cleaning lady, Gail came over today and worked like a trojan while I was at work.  I gave her a list of two or three things I thought she could get done for me.  I came home to a transformed house.  She unpacked some boxes so all I have to do is put things away.  She cleaned bathrooms and the kitchen, sorted shoes, hauled stuff that I had put aside to the thrift store.  She is a great blessing to me sent by God...I am sure she is an angel.  If you need someone to clean for you I would highly recommend her.       
       Her passion is to see you rest in your home.  She knows, as a woman, what we would like our homes to be like.  She motivates me by doing the everyday cleaning so that I can concentrate on closets and drawers.  You know the places that you never clean because you are so busy doing the other million things.  In fact, we had totally cleaned out my basement BEFORE the fire.  If we hadn't already hauled so much stuff away we might not have a house left...it would have been fuel for the fire!  Seriously, I had gone through all the closets and systematically disposed of tons of junk.  It was difficult to watch all my hard work go up in flames...but it has made the inventory soooo much easier to know exactly what I had down there.
       Many people are cutting back right now.  One of the first things to go is the cleaning lady.  I would never give her up...I will sacrafice other stuff before I would give her up...food even...maybe we could wear sweaters inside this winter, just don't take my cleaning lady from me.  She has given me hope that my house can be as clean as I would like.  That makes my mind happy...and my heart too.  It feels good to be in a clean house...my house.

(I have been without internet for a few days...this is posted from school but I wrote it on Saturday morning.)
    My legs slid into a silky smooth cloud.  Next I was embraced by softness all over my body.  My head sank into the pillow and soon I was relishing every fresh-smelling fiber.  Warmth climbed up my spine to my neck. In my cocoon, I was like the tired hard working caterpillar.  I settled in for my transforming rest in comfort. Sweet sleep overtook me too soon for me to enjoy the moment fully.  Deep sleep.

 In the morning, I awoke and emerged from my cocoon as a well rested butterfly, ready for a new day of flitting from here to there.  The rejuvenating snooze had done its work and life moved on quickly as usual.  I had a spring in my step because I knew that tonight; once again, I would be encased in warm, supple, smoothness.  My mountainous task would be forgotten for a few blissful hours of unconsciousness.  To tear myself away from this piece of heaven is difficult each morning, however, knowing that I will return at the end of the day makes it bearable.  My own bed has never been so welcoming or so appreciated as it is now.  I am home at last. 

(Written the day after the election. Our move is really taking a bite out of my writing time!)

Looking off my porch this morning I see that the mountains did not crumble last night.  They are still there and will be no matter who is president.  God is still on the throne.  It is a historic day and despite my disagreements with Obama on the issues, I am blessed to see a black man in the White House.  I know there are many African Americans that did not think they would live to see the day.  For a people to come out of slavery and being treated like animals, to holding the highest office in the land is a worthy accomplishment. 

As far as the election goes, I have to say I am glad it is over.  I tired of seeing and hearing the mess that we call politics.  I have no doubt that politicians on both sides of the isle are corrupt.  I have little to no trust in either party.  It is a sad day when the people cannot believe in the governments’ ability to govern.  I personally do not think that the direction Obama wants to take this country is a good one.   I know there are those that would disagree with me…even within my own family.  Our differences are part of what makes this country such a great one; we are free to disagree.

There is a confluence of events that have brought our people to this place.  The economy, the war, and the energy crisis are just scratching the surface.  I find it strange that we are so disillusioned with the government, but we elect a man that would like for the government to run everything.  It seems so foreign to me that we, as a people, would not be able to see this runs contrary to what we say we want as Americans.  We want independence, yet we will be, at least for the next four years be increasing our DEPENDENCE on the government.

I am simply looking back in history to see where we are headed and it is not good.  I think if you look back you will see a similar mindset in Germany after World War I. ( I know, I know…hear me out...I promise I am not going to call Obama the AntiChrist.  In fact, I want to remove religion and race from the table altogether for a moment.  Those two things simply polarize the people and cloud the issues.)  Back to history, the German people were down after the war.  Their economy was in the tank.  Sound familiar.  Hitler was a young charismatic leader with a vision for change.  The people were primed and ready for something they could get excited about to the point, and this is the dangerous part, that they gave away their freedoms.  They didn’t realize that is what they were doing at the time, because it was a gradual shift of mind.  I am NOT saying that Obama is like Hitler…that is not my point so please do not think that I am making that comparison. 

My comparison is that our people and the German people were in a similar mindset.  My point is that the Germans did not recognize what they were doing.  They got caught up in the moment and charisma because they wanted out of their present circumstances.  I just think we are in the same place in many ways.  I do not think that Obama is a crazed madman like Hitler was, but I do think his ideas should cause us to pause and wonder where they will lead us in the future.  That is all I am saying.  Think about what we are doing rather than following a pretty face blindly.  You have a right to your opinions.  I have a right to mine.  Will it stay that way?  We will see. 

If you look further back, to the children of Israel, you will see that they wanted a king.  None of this trusting God to take care of us stuff, they wanted a flesh and blood man to rule and reign.  God gave them what they wanted.  They picked the most handsome, strongest man they could find and he was God’s choice for them. His kingdom started out well and the people were happy.  But keep reading.  Saul became one of the most corrupt kings in history.   Things ended very badly for the people; sheep following their leader off of a cliff.

America wants a king.  We have been sliding in that direction for years.  Slowly fading and giving up our hearts to candidates on both sides of the isle.  I must say that the church hasn’t helped matters.  We do not put our trust in God…we hope the right officials in the right places will do the trick.  We have put our trust in our government to do our work for us.  Why else do you think the welfare system was created?  Men will fail…always.  Systems will fail…always.  We can point fingers at Bush or Clinton until we die. We can say it is the right or the left that is the problem…or those crazy Christians or those lost people… It has gone on for ages before us, and will go on years after we are gone.  It is human to defer the blame for our own condition to others.  It is “normal” to translate our own bitterness of heart to finding fault.  That is why Christ was so radically different.  He said examine your own heart; beware of bitterness for it is poison to your soul.  He said, take up your cross and follow me.  In other words, point to yourself.  Quit blaming others and fall on your knees in humility of heart.  Throw yourself at the foot of the cross…it is only there that you will finally find your true king.

    We are moving!  That is exciting.  I have been looking forward to the end of this chapter only to realize that the hundreds of boxes stacked in our house will take months to unload.  And though I might not be as close to the end of the road as I had thought, I will be in my own bed tomorrow night.  That makes everything easier.  I will be able to work at my own pace when I feel like it, in my NEW house with my NEW furniture.  That is a huge blessing to me.  Hard work is ahead but the results will be worth the sweat.

         Things are looking up. We are moving forward on getting back into our house. I have always been so appreciative that God provided us with our home, but now I have even more gratefulness in my heart. To sleep in my OWN bed, to have long sleeved clothing, to cook in a full kitchen…heaven. We still need to shop for furniture. I got the paperwork and it is a mountain. It will take months to sort through and get everything, so for now, I am concentrating on the beds we need to sleep in and the couch for the play room. I think I have found possible replacements…now to find time to go and purchase…maybe this weekend. Today our furniture that was not ruined is going to be cleaned and put back where it goes. We have power. We have water. Almost there.
       The analogy? Well I am sure that it has something to do with being settled in your heart. Your sin has been removed. The foundational stuff ripped out and replaced. The cosmetic surfaces are clean because the core is clean. All is new. Now to settle in and be comfortable in your new place. I don’t mean settle like apathetic or lazy. I mean to be comfortable in your new skin. When God does a deep work it takes years…in fact, I believe we are never fully finished. However, when he does a major renovation in your life, you have to adjust to the new you. You are freed from the past. The smelly smoke is gone. Now to find a way to live there and to stay there, that is the secret of being content.
       Our tendency is to strive. We want it all done today. I am in that mode at this very moment. I am almost willing to settle for whatever I find just so I won’t have to go to another store! But, I have time. The insurance has given me two years to finish replacing stuff. I think in life it is the same. We rush around trying to “finish the work” yet the word says that it’s God’s job…his timing. So resting and being content with the work he has already done is enough. Enjoying the new you and thinking carefully about how to enhance your new heart, are the only requirements. The constant pushing has to cease so you can be at peace with the resurrection work that has been done. Your heart is NEW…what an amazing gift that is! Don’t let the rush of the day and the speed of life steal that precious nugget of truth from you. Reflect on the new you DAILY with a grateful heart and you will find that God loves to be appreciated. He loves to be loved with a clean heart.

I have two friends that have just had their worlds turned upside down.  Both are about to loose husbands in very different ways unless the miraculous happens.  The first woman learned that her husband’s cancer has taken over his body completely.  It has spread like weeds digging in its roots in every bodily system.  She went home from work knowing that they will be telling the kids this weekend that their daddy will die very soon.  In the community our hearts are broken for her.  There is sorrow, but there is also compassion as money is collected and meals taken.

The other women lost her husband to greed.  He disappeared taking millions from his company and investors with him.  His sin spread, gradually taking over his entire life until one day last week when he gave in.  She too had to explain to her children that their father will not be coming back.  She lost everything and is alone to face the enormity of a federal investigation into her family’s personal life which includes the many secrets of her husband.  In the community our hearts are broken for her.  There has been prayer and support while she has moved from her home and tried to find a job very quickly.  Many have come to her aid.

However, many have made use of the rumor mill by way of the internet.  They have questioned online in a public forum details of her life in the midst of this trauma.  There are things being said that are not true and questions being asked that are nobody’s business. I am aware that many people were hurt when he took the money and ran, but does that justify dragging this woman through the mud?  Not knowing any of the details of her husbands’ business affairs, she is facing this monstrous challenge all on her own, while she sells all that they had.  It is my prayer that people will consider how they would want to be treated it such a situation.

Two women.  Two very different reactions from the community.  Grief comes into our lives in numerous ways.  The results of our grief depend on if we choose to be bitter or if we choose to allow God do his work in the midst of our pain.  It is a very intimate and personal process when your life is ripped open. Many times the ripples affect everyone around you and then spread even further…because God doesn’t work in isolation.  Trust me he is working in both women’s lives.  But he is also working in the community and teaching us how to love others and have compassion for them. Let’s let him soften our hearts and teach us to care for our sisters as we would want to be cared for.  After all, we are his hands and feet.   

Bill went to the doctor today to find out the results of his MRI.  Not good news.  There is degeneration in his neck. There is a bulging disc.  The doctor today said it will require surgery it is simply a matter of how long we can hold it off.  He has been referred to a neurologist.  As soon as he can get in to a visit we will find out our options.  It is just one more thing to add to the last couple of years in our crazy world.  Some one sent me some flair on facebook that said...It is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.  So do you want to dance with me?

It seems that William had his foot run over by a car last week...only he forgot to tell me. How I could not notice his limping is beyond me.  I didn't know anything was amiss until Friday night when he did not march at the football game.  Later he explained that he was trying to get out of a friend's car to get into Aaron's. The only problem was he didn't wait until the car had come to a complete stop.  When he got out he stumbled slightly and his foot ended up under the tire just as the car came to a stop.  The driver didn't realize what had happened until William started screaming to "Get it off!"  Fortunately it is not broken...I took him today to have it x-rayed.  The doctor put it in a boot and wants him to wear it for three weeks.  He said that will allow tendons and ligaments to heal without stress.  William is not happy about the boot but does think that it helps him to walk without as much pain.  Never a dull moment at the Gunnin house...
 

Shhh. Don't tell the kids I have a computer.  I am secretly working to get caught up on my writing and facebook page.  I got my new computer today at school.  I am excited but still figuring out how to do things.  My desktop was totally clear...I don't know how to get everything the way I like it.  I am a creature of habit and my icons aren't where I need them!  I am slowly getting things where I want them.  I am sure it will take awhile.
Just to update you...Bill had an MRI today.  Of course we won't know anything until next week, but the doc said the x-rays showed degeneration so it is likely that discs are involved.  He was also concerned that Bill hadn't had much pain relief when he was on the prednizone.  It is not looking good.  However, we have hope...and will wait and see.

The clouds are marching slowly in unison across the sky, bringing contour to the mountains.  Their shadows float, creating images that change the landscape below.  The trees are beginning their transformation from shades of summer green, to reds and yellows.  It is a slight change so far, but the cool brisk breeze whispers more colors are coming.  Seasons change.  As sure as the sun rises, seasons change.  
     We are in a time of change, just like the landscape in front of me changes slightly, then suddenly, so does the climate of our country.  I cannot get the upcoming election out of my mind.  No matter who wins, things are going to change.  The stock market knows it too.   After the autumn comes the winter, then spring…thank God for the spring.  I feel winter coming in more ways than one.  However, it is not a time to fret and worry because no matter how many winters I have weathered, spring has always come…and with it hope.  
     I feel that hope today.  Fall is here and the coolness of the day puts pep in my step.  It is my favorite time of year, because the leaves are changing and that means holidays are just around the corner.  Holidays are reminders of what is important.  If you can get beyond the commercialism, underneath the all the stuff lays faith and family…the bedrock of who we are. This year our surroundings will be different for family events.  The culture is likely to be different as well.   Yet in the midst God remains the same, like the mountains are the same as the seasons change.  
    Our house is almost finished…resurrection in the midst of upheaval.  Just like in life. The smoke smell is gone; what is left smells like new construction…the scent of paint and freshly cut wood.  Life-giving smells.  The days of sin covered garments are over.  The work has been done, and now there is a new robe of many colors covering all that was transformed underneath.  The outside is reflecting the inside work.  It is the cosmetic time…the fun time…after the gut-wrenching, painful cleaning out.  I am transfixed with colors and smells of seasons around me.  I am quietly and seriously watching the times while still seeing hope in the future.  God is sovereign.  God is good.   He will hold us and keep us because...God is hope.