I am an everyday woman who is a wife, a mom of four nearly grown children, a teacher, a colleague, a sister, and a daughter. I am a cancer survivor, a caregiver, and a recovering pharisee. I have more questions than answers. I am determined be in the moment, and live fully…both things life has taught me. I am not always successful, but I still try. I have endured some incredibly difficult trials along the way that only the grace of God could have brought me through. In those hardships he has transformed my heart, and I have learned that I am beloved of God and that he finds me beautiful no matter what I think of myself. He longs to spend time with me and I with him. I am complex, as both a free spirit and an introvert. I often wrestle within myself as to which one will speak. He is the complex three-in-one, and that endears me to him because I associate with all three. The spirit draws me to the son, who points me to the father and this lovely triune God relates to every part of myself. They are inseparable from one another, just as I am inseparable from myself… body, soul, and spirit.
I sit back and watch things around me which allows me to see the details that others miss. I like to think outside the box, and I yearn to be fully known. I am confident and insecure at the same time. I do not find that contradictory most of the time…it is just two different parts of my personality. I ponder often. I wonder frequently. Curiosity is a major issue…either a downfall or a wonderful character trait…I haven’t decided which. Mysteries intrigue me and God is the most mysterious of all. I love him for that. I have spent my lifetime getting to know God better, and the more I learn the less I know. I am spiritual, but not religious…or I try not to be anyway. I am blood bought and that humbles me more than I can say. I have a hard time believing that Christ endured such torture for self-righteous, judgmental, unforgiving me, and it brings me to tears when I think of a love that deep. Every. Time. There are no words. Theology cannot hold a candle to the truth of his sacrificial love.
I am told that I am a strong woman, but I do not feel strong most of the time. Quite the opposite. I know the internal me, the weak me. The one who fears, hurts, and grapples with life. It is these broken pieces…the contradictions, the weaknesses, the insecurities… along with bits of confidence, vision, and hopefulness…that make up the picture of my life that grace is creating. Welcome to Michelle’s Mosaic…I invite you to subscribe and follow my journey.