Fifteen years ago, today, I heard those terrible words. A fog descended immediately, kind of like when I was in transition during childbirth. In a room with my husband and doctors…yet all alone at the same time. Otherworldly. Trapped between before and after. Between healthy and sick. Between old and new realities. In case you … Continue reading “You Have Cancer”
Cancer
Borrowed Time
It has been 12 years today since I was diagnosed with cancer. It was one of the hardest days of my life. This blog is something I wrote during that time and then edited to be the beginning of a book about my journey. I have never finished the book, but I did want to mark … Continue reading Borrowed Time
A Tribute to Tenacity
My friend Marcia died this weekend. My heart is broken. The last time I talked to her was in October when I went to the oncologist for my check up and she was in the chemo lab. She was her same spunky self, though a bit weaker than usual. It was most likely going to … Continue reading A Tribute to Tenacity
Spa Day
A lovely lady walked me down a short hallway. She handed me off to another lovely lady, whose hospitality was charming. We chitchatted as she walked me to the dressing room, where she handed me a warm robe. What a luxurious thing. Enveloped by warmth, I wondered why I didn’t have a robe warmer at … Continue reading Spa Day
11
It is somehow appropriate that tonight is a full moon, here at the beginning of a new year, and on this day specifically; January 2nd. Eleven years…cancer free. At this time all those years ago, I was finishing up my final 8-hour treatment and heading home for a celebration dinner Louise had prepared. It was … Continue reading 11
The New Normal
“You will find a new normal.” I have heard the phrase many times, and in fact, I have said it to others in trying circumstances. The new normal seems like a goal, a hidden place where all things line up once again. However, what no one talks about is the strong longing for the old … Continue reading The New Normal
I Am in Remission!
Remission. In Cancerland, it is a wonderful word. A word which is coveted by every person in the chemo room, doctor’s office, hospital, or lab. It is every patient’s goal to hear that word, and every doctor’s desire to say it. It means the diminution of the disease…the cancellation of cancer. The origin of the … Continue reading I Am in Remission!
Beating the Odds
I have always hated math. It is no secret. Anyone who has known me for any length of time can tell you. I regularly communicate to my students that when I was a kid, I used to pray to God every night to take away multiplication. I distinctly remember this prayer, because it was one … Continue reading Beating the Odds
Me and My Friend Bev
I had a delightful afternoon with my childhood friend Beverly yesterday. We hadn’t seen each other face to face in many, many years. However, over the past few, we have bonded on Facebook through our shared Cancerland experiences. It was good to finally get to hug her neck long and hard, and to catch … Continue reading Me and My Friend Bev
Work of Art
I plug in my wax. While I am waiting for it to warm, I open my windows wide to let in the light and out the fumes. I turn on my fans. They create a breeze. I choose my music and let it flow into my studio. I gather my brushes, my paper, and my … Continue reading Work of Art
