Southern women have a reputation. We bring food. Funeral? Food. Wedding? Food. Sickness? Food. Hangnail? Fire? Flood? Stubbed toe? Food. We have been accused of being disingenuous. Hypocritical. Pretentious. But here’s the thing, we keep on bringing food.

We were taught how to do this by our mothers and their mothers. Being hospitable is an act of service. We were trained that serving others is a high calling. Making food is the only thing we know to do in hard circumstances or in celebratory ones. Words aren’t enough. We must express our love for you with comfort foods filled with butter, cream, cheese, sugar; enough carbs to sink a ship. It’s what we do. Whether people question our motives or embrace our tradition, doesn’t matter to us because we keep showing up. We are fiercely committed to our casseroles that way.

This weekend three southern women showed up for a dear friend of ours who is moving. We are all happy she will be near her grandchildren, even though we are grieving our own loss of having her nearby. Arizona feels a long way away. So, to acknowledge our loss and to celebrate her family moving closer together, we set up a table in her front yard with FOOD. Surprise, surprise. Brownies, cookies, a veggie tray, and iced tea (of course!). Coolers full of ice and water. Add in eight pizzas and it was a feast. (Btw, there is no rule about fixing the food from scratch, it’s the thought of caring for someone you love that counts.)

Technically the food was for everyone who came to help load the trailer, including a crew of teenage boys which dictated the choice of food in this instance, but that’s the beauty of the hospitality of feeding others…the more people you feed the happier your heart. Plus, there’s the added benefit of being of service to others when they most need it. Like the day two people were going to pack all their household goods from 30 years by themselves.

Uh…no. Unacceptable. That doesn’t work for southern women, who live to coordinate parties. Stand back and watch us line up a crew, feed them, and finish the loading in a few short hours rather than days and days. It makes my heartbeat faster with joy just thinking of it. The thrill of making life easier for our friends in one of the most stressful seasons of their lives…totally worth every effort.

Southern women might seem like a lot to deal with to those who are not from the South. Overkill even. We tend to step into situations and kind of take over…some might say. However, watching the trailer loaded, walking through empty rooms, and seeing some stress lifted off the shoulders of our friends is the fruit of our labor…a labor of love and of food.

We will miss our friends Orly and Ari, but we have a new city to visit! Tucson here we come with food in tow.

Much love you two,

From your friends,

Southern Women