I was awakened by my old foe panic this morning. Not good. My medical phobia kicked into high gear. I never had these attacks before cancer, but they haven’t left me since, at least not on more major issues. The fear is there any time I have to have a procedure done, but I can … Continue reading Panic

When William was younger, I was walking laps at the park while he played with another boy on the playground. As I approached, they were swinging on the wheelchair swing, right under the sign that said, “Do not play on this equipment, it is reserved for wheelchairs.” His new little friend saw me walking towards … Continue reading “Educational” Vacations

The past couple of days I don’t feel like doing anything…only sleeping. I have tried to power through, heaven knows I have a ton of stuff to do before my surgery, but I cannot. I recognize this feeling. It is grief. It is not sadness, though there is some of that which comes in waves. … Continue reading Grief

I am the sentimental one in my family. What that means is that I get all the old family photos, because I cannot bear to think of my great-great grandparent’s picture being sold at a garage sale. If you have been to my house, you have seen the menagerie of family photos that threaten to … Continue reading Stories

This is a poem written by Ray for Louise. It is beautiful. My Louise Pride of my heart. Joy of my soul Delight of my emotion, Object of my devotion With what could I hold So lovely a dream. So beautiful a vision. No price could redeem, So much you mean, You’re an ideal of … Continue reading My Louise

Today I had a much needed day with my girl. Shopping, nails done, dinner, and a hike. It was a respite from the hectic pace of the past few weeks. We found ourselves on the lake path at dusk, just as the birds were saying good night and the bullfrogs were beginning their song. Crickets … Continue reading Summer Symphony

Today is the day things are supposed to be getting back to “normal” after the service for Louise yesterday. But how is that even possible when your world has been shaken and tipped on its end? Went out and about, spending time with all four of my kiddos…a blessing to be sure, but the sun … Continue reading Nothing Will Be the Same

Here is the promised copy of the tribute for Louise. Thank you all for coming to honor her. Your friendship and care for our family is truly a blessing. A Portrait First, I must tell you that Louise would be uncomfortable with people standing around talking about her. She preferred the background to the spotlight. … Continue reading A Portrait

Memorial Service for my mother-in-love Louise Gunnin. Wednesday June 13th, 2012 at 2:00 on the 54th anniversary of her marriage to Ray. First Baptist of Gainesville Chapel. Reception following in the Banquet Hall. In lieu of flowers donations should be sent to The Ministry of Caring of First Baptist Gainesville. A full obituary can be … Continue reading Arrangements

I sit as the dawn breaks, grateful that we could keep Louise home where she wanted to be until the end. It is peaceful here even though my heart is broken. I am surrounded, at this moment by her things, dolls, quilts, and photos. Hard to believe she is really gone because it all remains … Continue reading Joy in the Morning