Many of you heard about my trip to the ER Wednesday night, with what felt a great deal like labor pains. I have to tell you that fear was my first response to abdominal pain. I wish I could say my faith rose up to battle but it did not. In fact, though the results … Continue reading Fear

Anger disguises hurt. Hurt camouflages fear. Fear breeds mistrust. Mistrust kills faith. Layers. Humans use layers to protect themselves from pain. These defenses are exposed when the rug is pulled out from under us. Before then, our illusion of control remains intact. It is when we feel out of control that we see what is … Continue reading Layers

Three children, two boys and a girl, raced to the shore giggling as they went. The boys must’ve been 6 and 7, the girl 4. Stairsteps, dressed in clothes rather than swimming suits. Maybe they came straight from the car at the end of a long journey. I do not know. What I do know … Continue reading Deep Calls Unto Deep

Sun. Sand. Surf. Ahhhh. I don’t know what it is about the beach that makes me relax. I am not even a beach person really. I much prefer the mountains, but there is just something about the waves and wind here that mesmerizes me; maybe it is the constant fizz of the foam, the thunderous … Continue reading Sun

I was asked to give a testimony today at church.  Many of you have asked for me to post it...so here it is... In my forty-five years, I have learned that life is full of complications. Up until a certain age, it didn’t look that hard to me. Then as a new bride, I received … Continue reading Testimony

The singing of the birds is melodious this morning as I sit on the porch at a bed and breakfast in Highlands, NC. Do not underestimate the power of a weekend, really 24 hours, away from your everyday life. It is a refreshing treat for Bill and I to be celebrating our 23rd anniversary basking … Continue reading 23rd Anniversary Getaway

WWJD?  This simple question, what would Jesus do, came into popularity several years ago.  It was profound at the time, but as it got more and more trendy, it lost some of its punch.  I think it is time to revisit this simple question.  What would Jesus do?  I think if you look at Jesus’ ministry and you see how he responded to people you can kind of guess how he would respond to circumstances today.  That is kind of the point of the bracelets, necklaces, book covers and all the other WWJD merchandise, to make us stop and think before we act.  For example, there is a story in the Bible about a blind man. 

In John 9:2, Jesus’ disciples ask "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?"  

He responds, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”  I think his point here is that it doesn’t matter so much who sinned, after all every one of us are guilty…we are getting hung up on the wrong question, which is who is to blame.  Do we blame satan, the man, the parents, the church…who? The blame game does not fly with Jesus.  He goes on to answer another question, thereby taking the emphasis off of who did what.  The question is why?  His answer? So that the work of God might be displayed in his life. 

Why cancer? So the work of God might be displayed in your life. 

Why a house fire? So the work of God might be displayed your life. 

Why an individual crisis that affects the whole church? So the work of God might be displayed in YOUR life, and HIS life, and the CHURCH’S life.  No matter what you are facing, fill in your own blanks with your own life traumas and the answer remains the same.

But wait, there’s more…now look on down in the story to John 9:15-16.

“Therefore the Pharisees also asked him how he had received his sight. "He put mud on my eyes," the man replied, "and I washed, and now I see.”

Some of the Pharisees said, "This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath." But others asked, "How can a sinner do such miraculous signs?" So they were divided.” 

It seems the Pharisees are at it again…totally missing the point one more time by trying to determine if God is at work or not.  Bless their hearts, they just want to be sure all is in order.  They are confused; their rules are not being followed.  It does not look like they want it to look.  They missed the miraculous work of God…blind eyes are open…light is shining and they do not get it.

The man says to them in verse  9:30,  "Now that is remarkable! You don't know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes.”  

To this they replied, "You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!" And they threw him out.” 

Jesus hears of this and says to them, "For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."

The Pharisees ask him “Are we blind too?”

Jesus said, "If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.”

He gives a powerful answer that we would do well to pay attention to.  The blind and those with other infirmities were the lowest of the low in that culture.  Not even worth speaking to in the minds of the Pharisees, because they were the worst of sinners.  Here Jesus shows them that he indeed came for the sinners, and not the religious who already think they “see.”  He points that out here loud and clear.  How can you tell if you see or are blind like the Pharisees?  Check the underlines…they were divided.  They were divided and they sewed division.  Key point…they missed the miracle. 

Next underline, they threw him out.  The very one that Jesus touched, they dismissed.  Not only did they deny Jesus was at work, they refused to “see” it.  Key point…they missed his grace.

So what would Jesus do?  He would open blind eyes.  He has opened blind eyes.  He would bring light into darkness.  He has brought light into darkness.  Can you see it or are you blinded by the circumstances? 

 This morning is a glorious one.  The sun is shining but the humidity is low for a change. I wish my mood matched the warmth of the day.  My heart is heavy this week.  Our church has taken a huge hit and it has thrown me for a loop…all of us for a loop.  In the midst of a family crisis, I am seeking God’s heart.  I believe he is grieved for his children. 

I wonder sometimes if he ever regrets giving us a free choice.  I mean, he knew what we would do with that kind of freedom. Today I contemplate his dilemma. He could have controlled us as robots telling us what and how to do things, but robots do not love.  He desires our love, but forcing us to love him would have been empty…devoid of relationship.  Therefore, he gave us a choice.  With that choice to love, came also the choice not to.  As a father and creator that had to be one of the hardest things to do, give us the freedom to fall and to fail.  This week is especially tough because we see the result of bad choices, and the heartache they cause on so many levels.  The fall is horrifying and the fallout immeasurable. We are grasping for answers and comfort.  Our minds are full of fear and doubt as the carpet of our faith has been pulled out from under us.

We are wondering where is his love in all of this, I mean he allowed it didn’t he?  My opinion is that free choice allowed this, and his love had nothing to do with it.  That is why I wonder if he regrets giving life-altering decisions into the hands of humans. Our potential to ruin lives is great.  He gave us his word as a guide on how to make life-giving choices, however he does not require us to read it or follow it.  Even that is our choice.  What does he do when we mess up (and we ALL mess up)? He turns our bad choices into his miracles. I have no idea how he does it, but that is why he is God. 

He can turn even this, because now in the midst of a very difficult situation, there are still choices to be made. Grace or condemnation?  Gossip or prayer?  Compassion or hardness of heart?  It is now that free choice is tested.  It is now that we must go to the book and see what it says.  We must listen to God’s voice and choose to be a part of the turning.  Ask yourself:  Is what I am doing, saying or thinking bring life into the situation or death?  Does it build up and encourage or does it tear down?   What is God’s heart on this?  Is my heart in line with his?  Do I have things in my life that were not wise choices that need to be confessed? 

I believe God knew that free choice would ultimately cultivate a relationship with him, and that our freedom to choose him would create a fulfilling bond of love.  I am also sure his heart is grieved when we do not choose this bond.  I do not want to be one that grieves his heart, so I am committed to make choices that bring life.  Will you?

It is a historic day.  Not because of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett dying, but because 16 years ago I gave birth to a bundle of energy.  How can it be that William is already 16?  I remember the little toe-headed boy with the mischievous twinkle in his eyes.  It has always been my theory that God gave that twinkle to active little boys to preserve their lives.  When parents get infuriated with all the activity, one small smile and that twinkle is all it would take to be forgiven. William was active even in the womb, drumming I guess. He has never looked back.  By two, he was a passionate kid that loved anything musical and any kind of moving thing.  He had a special “motor noise” that he made with his mouth that sounded like a motorcycle.  Every thing that moved he pushed and made that noise, lawn mowers, scooters, big wheels, tricycles…you name it. 

He was also a climber, known to stand on the kitchen cabinets…especially when no adult was around to watch him.  It makes me kind of sad to think about not having those William moments of his childhood.  Yet, he still has the twinkle, and now a tender heart and a sense of humor to go with it.  The passion still burns bright and is expressed through his music, among other things.  He is growing into a fine young man. 

He will be hitting the road soon, the first stretch of his wings before taking flight.  I learned that with my first two kids.  It is at 16 they begin their break away, not 18 as I once thought.  I am a bit nostalgic I must admit.  They grow up so fast, yet once again it is time; time to begin the separation, time to cheer on another son.  I will watch the twinkle in his eyes as he drives away, and there will be a tear in mine.  Time does fly!

In the midst of my hectic, yet relaxing, summer God is doing a work.  It is too deep for words at this point.  He is so faithful to work at the core of our souls if we let him.  He puts his finger on something specific and goes to work.  I don’t know if you have ever experienced how he uses current circumstances to highlight dark areas of your heart, but I have and it is sometimes, shall we say uncomfortable.  I am grateful however, that he shines the light of his love in this darkness in order to heal and restore the broken places.

 I don’t know if Christians think of God healing their hearts.  In general, for me anyway, I think my heart was healed when I got saved, and it was.  But that was just the beginning. Thank God that he doesn’t show us all the areas of our hearts that we withhold from his touch at one time.  He is so thrilled to have us restored to himself, that he begins his work slowly.  I have been a Christian as long as I can remember and he has been working in my life all of those years, yet here I am again faced with some life hindering blockages in my spirit.  If I want to be more like Christ, I must walk through instead of ignoring this latest hindrance. 

I think the key is realizing that God is for me and that he is gentle.  I picture a heart surgeon working deftly with precision.  He goes in for the blockage to restore life to the part of the heart that is damaged.  A heart doctor restores the blood flow, and with God it is Christ’s redeeming blood that heals the hearts of his people.  It causes my heart to beat in rhythm with his.  When the flow of life is revived and is adequate, I function more fully in my relationships with others…including God himself.  It is the submitting to the surgery that is the hard part.  It feels risky.  It feels dangerous.  Yet if I don’t my heart shrivels up and dies slowly.  I desire freedom from blockages, but I resist the pain to get there.  So I live in hopes that a partial flow is better than nothing…a heart attack waiting to happen. 

God offers us more.  He desires us to be fully alive, mind, body, and spirit.  He often times uses his word to show us our reflection.  It is a mirror.  (This is why in the tabernacle there was a basin made out of mirrors.  The priests were required to wash there daily, which represents how we wash ourselves in the word daily to show us our reflection...ahh but that is another lesson for another day.)  When I read about God’s perfect love, it exposes my imperfect love.  When I read about his complete forgiveness, it shows me how I do not forgive; it is these exposed areas he deals with on the operating table.  He applies his grace and shows me how to become more like him by unblocking the love I withhold, or by teaching me forgiveness to one who has wronged me.  He uses his word to show me my need.  Then I have to be willing to let him cut me open using his sword of truth.  Yikes!  Do I trust him enough to let him?  It all comes down to my belief or unbelief that he is good.  I love to quote the line from C.S Lewis’s Narnia.  The children ask Mrs. Beaver if Aslan is safe.  She says, “Heavens no, he’s not safe.  But he is good.” 

I know that in the midst of the surgery God is doing on my heart that he is good.  He is for me, and he longs for me to be free of all hindrances in my life.  That is enough for me to give my consent, because no surgeon will operate without consent.