It seems that William had his foot run over by a car last week...only he forgot to tell me. How I could not notice his limping is beyond me.  I didn't know anything was amiss until Friday night when he did not march at the football game.  Later he explained that he was trying to get out of a friend's car to get into Aaron's. The only problem was he didn't wait until the car had come to a complete stop.  When he got out he stumbled slightly and his foot ended up under the tire just as the car came to a stop.  The driver didn't realize what had happened until William started screaming to "Get it off!"  Fortunately it is not broken...I took him today to have it x-rayed.  The doctor put it in a boot and wants him to wear it for three weeks.  He said that will allow tendons and ligaments to heal without stress.  William is not happy about the boot but does think that it helps him to walk without as much pain.  Never a dull moment at the Gunnin house...
 

Shhh. Don't tell the kids I have a computer.  I am secretly working to get caught up on my writing and facebook page.  I got my new computer today at school.  I am excited but still figuring out how to do things.  My desktop was totally clear...I don't know how to get everything the way I like it.  I am a creature of habit and my icons aren't where I need them!  I am slowly getting things where I want them.  I am sure it will take awhile.
Just to update you...Bill had an MRI today.  Of course we won't know anything until next week, but the doc said the x-rays showed degeneration so it is likely that discs are involved.  He was also concerned that Bill hadn't had much pain relief when he was on the prednizone.  It is not looking good.  However, we have hope...and will wait and see.

The clouds are marching slowly in unison across the sky, bringing contour to the mountains.  Their shadows float, creating images that change the landscape below.  The trees are beginning their transformation from shades of summer green, to reds and yellows.  It is a slight change so far, but the cool brisk breeze whispers more colors are coming.  Seasons change.  As sure as the sun rises, seasons change.  
     We are in a time of change, just like the landscape in front of me changes slightly, then suddenly, so does the climate of our country.  I cannot get the upcoming election out of my mind.  No matter who wins, things are going to change.  The stock market knows it too.   After the autumn comes the winter, then spring…thank God for the spring.  I feel winter coming in more ways than one.  However, it is not a time to fret and worry because no matter how many winters I have weathered, spring has always come…and with it hope.  
     I feel that hope today.  Fall is here and the coolness of the day puts pep in my step.  It is my favorite time of year, because the leaves are changing and that means holidays are just around the corner.  Holidays are reminders of what is important.  If you can get beyond the commercialism, underneath the all the stuff lays faith and family…the bedrock of who we are. This year our surroundings will be different for family events.  The culture is likely to be different as well.   Yet in the midst God remains the same, like the mountains are the same as the seasons change.  
    Our house is almost finished…resurrection in the midst of upheaval.  Just like in life. The smoke smell is gone; what is left smells like new construction…the scent of paint and freshly cut wood.  Life-giving smells.  The days of sin covered garments are over.  The work has been done, and now there is a new robe of many colors covering all that was transformed underneath.  The outside is reflecting the inside work.  It is the cosmetic time…the fun time…after the gut-wrenching, painful cleaning out.  I am transfixed with colors and smells of seasons around me.  I am quietly and seriously watching the times while still seeing hope in the future.  God is sovereign.  God is good.   He will hold us and keep us because...God is hope.

Just so you know I haven't forgotten to write.  My computer crashed and I have not gotten a new one yet.  The school is a bit slow in issueing a new one because of other stuff that takes priority.  We have others at home but not quite at my fingertips like my own.  I haven't had much time to write, but I do have quite a bit brewing in my brain...ahh the dependence on technology is complete.  I can barely write on paper anymore...takes too long.  Hopefully I will be able to make some time this weekend to fight for a computer at home to write. However, Hannah is coming home for her fall break so I am not making any promises. :) 

    Did you think I had forgotten you?  I have NOT fallen off the planet.  I have been having some computer issues.  I also have been very busy.  An update on Bill first... his pain has become manageable... most of the time.  It still comes strongly if his medicine wears off but as long as he has the meds he can function.  That is better than before when even with meds he was hurting.  He has been going to physical therapy and doing exercises as well as medication.  Now that the steriods have worn off it seems the pain is back but not as acute as before.  He is going to the doctor this week for follow up so we will see what he says...

Could it be that this financial crisis we are experiencing is the “big” thing I have been sensing?  For over a year I have thought there was change in the wind.  I have felt it was larger than a simple election, though this one is significant, what I feel is bigger than that.  Gas is in short supply.  Investments are in the tank.  Real estate is completely flat. Predictions are dire at best. All of our securities are being stripped from under our feet.  That is the bottom line.

There is a storm brewing…it is actually upon us.  It is huge and we need to prepare our hearts.  If all falls and fails are we ready for what that means?  I am afraid that our generation is unfamiliar with the kind of sacrifice that may be required if financial ruin comes to our country.  The ominous feelings that hover over my heart lead me to believe that things are just getting started.  God is crying out for our attention and it just may be that it will take going through our pocketbooks to get it. 

Yet there is peace.  God is fully aware of our circumstances.  He knows what will happen and when.  This is a time to draw close to him.  Currently, the gas crisis is causing families to stay home.  It is making us re-think our priorities and become more aware of the differences between our needs and our wants.   It is a good thing on many levels.  There is no need for panic but a call to prayer.  To see the darkness that is ahead and rest in the sovereignty of God is something that faith compels us towards.  Peace in the midst of panic.  A light in the darkness for those that cannot understand as their money disappears.  It is this time that God will show himself strong.  He will reveal himself to us as we wait on him with our hearts open to his voice.  Are you listening?   

An update on Bill...he went to the doctor.  He got 4 prescriptions.  They also set him up for physical therapy and did some x-rays.  The goal seems to be to get the pain settled down by reducing the inflamation.  So far no MRI has been done.  They are waiting to see if any of this helps.  He has been on prednizone for 3 days and so far has had only minimal relief.  The pain meds are helping him sleep better but he still has difficulty finding a position that is comfortable.  Right now he is mainly sleeping on his back.  He goes back to the doctor in another week or so to report any results and to hear what the x-rays showed.  Hopefully if he is not better they will check the disks then with an MRI.  We are tired from lack of good rest...but he seems slightly better today...maybe...a little...or not.  It is hard to tell.  Keep praying.

I love the fall weather we are having!  It is crisp and chilly…my favorite season.  I know we will get more heat before it settles in but I am content to sit on my porch for the days that we have now.  I wanted to give an update on the house.  The sheetrock is up!!  Hurray.  Now we are waiting for the sanding to be finished.  After that the cleaning company will come another time to clean the walls that aren’t new before the paint goes up.  We are getting close.  We do not have any money for furniture yet but my inventories have been in for a while so that should be coming soon.  It is our hope to be in sometime in October.

Now for another prayer request…Bill is having some severe pain in his neck and arm.  He is miserable and has been for about 3 weeks or so.  He goes tomorrow to a doctor to see if it is a disk.  The chiropractor he has been going to thinks we need an MRI.  We will see what the MD says.  It is our prayer that this is something that can be handled without surgery…but if surgery is required it will have to be soon because of insurance and because he cannot live like this for much longer.  We appreciate your prayers in the matter.

The morning is cool.  It is dark except for silver clouds that hide the full moon.  As I watch the clouds roll away, the mountains come into view bathed in shimmering light.  The light of the moon is so bright it casts shadows.  It is a spectacular scene.  I am again amazed at how differently the same scene can appear. Each day it is different, yet the same.  Much like God…He is so varied that the view of him and his love has unending dimensions, yet he never changes.  It is one of the numerous dichotomies that make him who he is.  This morning I am taking communion in order to be with him.  I watch his handiwork while I sit still to hear his heart for the day. 

Drawn to the light of the moon…I think.  A big glowing rock in the sky…how crazy does that sound.  It does not have light of its own. It simply reflects.  The surface is unimpressive…nothing spectacular.  But when the sun hits it there is no stopping the luminous glow as it flows like a silver river.  I watch the effect of the light on my surroundings. When the clouds roll back, the complete darkness disappears…now there are outlines of objects…trees, mountains, and valleys.  The moon…the floating rock is illuminating everything around. 

Then as I watch, the sun makes its appearance behind me.  I do not see the sun, rather its effects. The sky is split.  The mountains blush, and the moon fades in the brilliance of the sun.  One moment.  Night becomes day in one moment.  Today’s lesson hits me in that same moment…I am the moon.  Unimpressive on my own…nothing spectacular really, yet when I reflect the Son my surroundings change.  The darkness dissipates.  He puts me in dark places in order to shine and reflect.  But just so I do not forget and think the light source is something for which I am responsible, he shows up.  As bright and brilliant as the moon is, when the Son arrives the moon pales.  The Son takes center stage.  All is made known and there are no longer shadows.  All bow.  I know that I am simply a rock, made beautiful by his transforming light.

My heart has been quiet these past few days.  I watched some specials about 9-11 on TV this past weekend.  I guess it has been long enough now that we can gently look back at that black day and talk about it.  The shows I saw had survivors and family members of victims.  They analyzed how events unfolded and the problems with emergency response.  I think I must have watched three different documentaries.  Each of them was well done and very respectful, even in their analysis of the failures they upheld the heroes.  The general conclusion was that no one could have ever expected such tragedy and that despite our losses many things went right on that day.  Hundreds of lives were saved amid the ones that were taken. 

What most amazed me were the survivor stories.  Hearing people describe the noises, sights and smells first hand brought tears to their eyes and mine.  They talked about praying to God that death would come quickly.  One lady said she was wondering how badly it would hurt to burn to death and how long it would take.  This was brutal, honest heart talk.  As several people spoke about inhaling the smoke and the burning sensation of eyes and throats, I could relate in a new way this year.  I took in one deep breath of toxic smoke in my house and thought I was drowning; the lack of oxygen was so great.  How in the world could these people be alive to tell the story of hours in smoke filled stairwells?  It was dark in our house as fire fighters used flashlights to find their way.  How could men climb 100 stories of a building empty of light but filled with smoke?  I have a new respect for those men.  I have a compassion for the survivors and grief of heart for the victims.  The families, all handling the tragedy in different ways, are scarred by what happened on that day. 

The television brought back the pain of that day in living color.  It will continue its reminder throughout this week I am sure.  I am drawn to it just as I was to Princess Diana’s funeral.  It is historically sad and misplaced.  My mind wonders as it tries to grasp the significance of such events.  It wants to categorize and put this into a box somewhere…only it won’t fit in a box.  There are no precedents.  Nothing so heinous could have been imagined.   And in the midst of the flashbacks I say do not forget.  Let the horror do its work in your hearts.  Life is uncertain.  You never know.  It could have been you.  Allow the true questions to rise up.  Where is God?  How could he let this happen?  Who is really in control?  What would have happened if it had been me?  Or my loved ones?  Then the biggest of all…God do you really care?  About us?  About me?  Then listen…quietly, silently listen for his answers.  Wait as you watch the planes.  Wait as you hear the commentary.  As the fear rises up, wait for his peace.  He says “I care more than you can ever imagine.  My desire is for you to cry out to me.  Even in the midst of the plans of evil men, I will uphold my beloved ones.” 

Priorities changed on that day.  Life and death became clear, everything else is just stuff.  Families matter, loved ones matter, friendships matter…work is just a vehicle to the things that matter.  When it becomes something else it is time to find something new.  Hold on tightly to your new priorities.  Do not forget how short life can be. The lesson of 9/11 is to say what needs to be said and don’t forget to Live Fully.  Don’t ever forget.