Today the phone rang and it was the nurse. She wanted to come change my dressing today instead of tomorrow because the more days in between the more pain there is. I was all for it, while at the same time being against it. I went into the panic/meltdown mode that I have been living in lately. I took all my pain medicine that is supposed to help me. I cried and had trouble breathing as I waited for my pain to arrive. Somehow the anticipation of pain is bigger than the pain itself. Bill played the piano over me. That brought me peace and I was able to take deep breaths once again. As I tried to rest while waiting on my agony this passage from Luke came to mind.
He began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Going a little further he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me…yet not as I will, buy as you will.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish he prayed more earnestly and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.
I understand this passage a little better now. I was sweating (not blood) as I knew the pain that awaited me. I knew there was no way around it. I even asked God to let this cup pass from me…but he didn’t. I felt a small part of the anguish and sorrow he must have felt. I am relieved that I have a savior that has felt everything I will ever go through…even pain.
Again I am reminded of Christ’s love for me. He was in anguish because he knew the pain and torture that was to come. He knew the rejection and the physical beatings. I cannot imagine the depth of the pain he felt. He chose to face it because he also knew the end result would be intimate fellowship with me….with all of us. He thought it was worth it…I was worth it.
In the end today, I was blessed. The Vaseline gauze worked and the foam was removed fairly easily. Some pain but very little and I have hope that it will continue to be as easy now that we have found the trick. I am still somewhat nervous for next time because it is always tender. But God moved today on my behalf. He knew how much I could take and he did not require more.
4 thoughts on “Sweating Drops of Blood”
I am so thankful that HE knows how much we can bear and is ever merciful. Today, I had a similar experience with God’s mercy and emotional pain. The scripture you recalled from Luke is powerful in its recounting of Christ’s intimate honesty with his flesh before the Living God. I forget sometimes that Yeshua even had a flesh because HE did not sin and yet I never seem to be able to forget my own flesh because its effects are ever before me as I seek to live my life. I also readily forget that the Father accepts that HE created me with a flesh and only requires of me the honest laying down of it in order to submit to HIS will. Somehow when I remember that the only true barrier between me and the experience of intimacy with the living God is some aspect of my flesh, it suddenly becomes much easier to stop focusing on that barrier and start acting in such a way that that fleshly barrier is delivered to the bronze altar so that I may wash and enter the Holy place before HIS presence at the Golden one. The enemy can seek to distract us from the bronze one while we are outside the encampment of Israel but once we have entered through the door of the tabernacle and laid that flesh on the bronze altar of God that enemy can no longer impede our movement into the sanctuary . Yeshua demonstrates this in this Luke passage- He brought HIS own flesh under the submission of the Father and then the intercessor came to minister to HIS spirit and carry HIM through to obedience. Thanks be to God that we have an even greater intercessor- that of Yeshua HIMSELF.
It takes my breath away to see how God is working in you Michelle…The passage He gave you was so Perfect…like He is Perfect…and He’s working Perfection in you…to be like Him…God has given me several passages for you but this is the One for you Today…Romans 8:28~30…please read it and find comfort there…to be like Him…for those whom He FOREKNEW and PREDESTINED to be like Him…it will read the same in any version… please read it from the Amplified…(if you don’t have an Amplified Version go to BibleGateway.com and find it there)…Yesterday was like a “ram in the thicket”…you accepted the pain you would have to bear (though you may have realized there was no choice) and because of your Faithfulness to Him/through Him to accept whatever He requires of you, He provided the Ram…just as Christ could not ~ would not turn away from His Father’s purpose for Him… Because of His human weakness God was able to Glorify Himself by giving Him Strength and Focus…”being in anguish He prayed more earnestly”….taking His “eyes off the water” and centering it on His mission…His Fathers purpose…The Father would never have let Him go, even in His hour of human weakness…it’s not a sin to be weak…but instead in your weakness He will send “an Angel to strengthen you”…So the Father can be Glorified in your weakness…He will NOT let you go…John 10:28~29 (not to a person, not to circumstance…not to pain, fear or trembling)… He “provided a Lamb”….He knows what you can bear even if you think you can’t bear it….He knew you before you were…and you were predestined for this time…so that HE would be Glorified! That HIS purpose would be fulfilled! I love you Little One…
Kim Jordan, I like the way you pulled the temple elements into it…I hadn’t thought of it like that but it totally fits. I have felt that once he submitted to the Father in the garden he was set to finish the course…but now I know how hard that had to be…he had to have total vision and focus on the outcome. That is why I think his love for us must be so great…that is the only focus he had and that had to carry him through the toughest most physcial pain all the way to the end. Wow…for me. It brings tears.
Maria, I read the passage you mentioned but I also read the couple of verses before it. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. ” Wow! How right on is that!!! He is interceding for me when I need him. That brings so much relief to me at this moment.