Funny how memories work when you are grieving. They come unbidden and they are bittersweet. Mostly sweet. Mostly, I smile…sometimes with tears…grateful tears that Mom is whole again. Birthdays, Christmases, family trips, times with the grandkids, even childhood memories from when I was a little girl, all come forward as I flip through pictures. I … Continue reading Memories
grief
Surprised by Joy
The last few days I have been resting, processing, planning, and resting some more. The cumulative physical exhaustion of the past few years seems to have caught up to me. Yet, it is different than the heavy sleep/sleepless roller coaster of those years. During the dementia journey, it has felt like trying to sleep with … Continue reading Surprised by Joy
It’s Over
Dearest Readers, Our long goodbye is over. Mom breathed her last today and now she is whole. We have stopped counting down her days here and now we begin counting up the days until we are with her again there. We feel as if we have finished a marathon. Exhausted, but we have run a … Continue reading It’s Over
Martha’s Garden
One thing Mom and Dad have always had in common is their love for flowers. Wildflowers particularly, but any flowers are a treat. I remember, when I was a kid, Dad would get up early and go for a hike on the mountain. Probably to take pictures. He would bring back a plethora of flowers … Continue reading Martha’s Garden
Jimmy and Marie
I met Jimmy through my dad. They are in the same support group of men caring for their wives who have dementia. The group has grown, but Dad and Jimmy were part of the original three. Their friendship is born from the shared pain and vulnerability of being caregivers. Dad gave Jimmy Words to the … Continue reading Jimmy and Marie
Sharing Loss
Photo: Mike Hunter (the day they brought her home from the shelter) The dementia journey is fraught with loss. At every turn, your loved one is fading away which causes its own sort of slow dying process in your heart as a caregiver. Your emotional state is tied to their wellbeing; each step of their … Continue reading Sharing Loss
Cranberry Sauce
Sometimes grief comes galloping into the heart like a battering ram at the front door, forcing its way inside. Other times grief sneaks in the back door, like a thief, and makes its way to the table. On big days, such as Thanksgiving, the heart knows to guard the front door. All the memories come … Continue reading Cranberry Sauce
Sitting With Grief
You may have noticed I have been missing in action as of late. I have learned, from doing it wrong so many times in my life, that grief takes an enormous amount of energy. When I am in a season of grieving, I have to give it space. That means giving up other things, so … Continue reading Sitting With Grief
Gravity
Walking yesterday, I felt gravity pulling my shoes down. It flowed through my body and I could feel the heavy weight of it. An invisible force always tugging towards the center of the earth, and it was in my feet. Every step heavier than the previous one. Every upward movement a battle. To lift my … Continue reading Gravity
Dear Christ Followers
Dear Christ Followers, Our streets are burning with the fire of grief. There is a deep sorrow which has ripped open a wound that has never healed properly. It is raw and gapping and exposed. In ancient days, there would have been the tearing of clothes, there would have been sackcloth and ashes. There would … Continue reading Dear Christ Followers
Michelle's Mosaic 