I know you have been waiting on this blog. It has taken me some processing time…but here are the details.

I have been in a cloud of love all week. After being in a grief bubble for a few years, being enveloped in happiness has been a refreshing change. Moms out there will understand what it means to have all your children in one place for a long weekend. Once they are grown, it is a rarity. Add to the joy of proximity the absolute overwhelming happiness of a wedding, and I have felt my heart might explode.

When we first met Jessica, we knew she was special. We loved her immediately and felt she fit our family to a T. Of course, we couldn’t say that. Not at first, but we sure thought it. To see Aaron so happy made us happy. We crossed our fingers and prayed that this was indeed the beautiful relationship he had been looking for. As it turns out, it was!

This past weekend was the culmination of the prayers I have been praying since I found I was pregnant with Aaron, and it couldn’t have been better. It was perfectly “them.”  The weather was hot and humid, but gorgeous with just the right breeze. They rented an enormous house (Once Upon a Tide) for the wedding party and friends. It served as the central place for fun on the beach, lodging, the rehearsal dinner space, the ceremony space, the reception space, and the Sunday morning brunch space.

The rehearsal started Friday evening overlooking the waves, with blue skies fading towards light pink at sunset. Once everyone knew where to stand, we moved on to the dinner. At the request of the bride and groom the rehearsal dinner was a low country boil with shrimp and crab legs. Gathered around the tables, friends and family feasted on good food and fellowship. Two families meeting and joining hearts in celebration. Afterwards, there was a dessert/wine welcome event for those guests already on the island. We had transported cakes, pies, and cookies from County Bake Shop in Georgia all the way to North Carolina for a taste of home.

I wish I could relay all the toasts from that night. To hear family and friends of Jess speak about getting to know Aaron over the past 3 years touched my heart. Knowing they see him as I see him was such a blessing. The toasts from our friends and family were just as meaningful when they all mentioned how Jessica had impacted them. Her intelligence, wit, personality, beauty are a match in every way for Aaron, and it has been clear to everyone who knows them that they belong together. I shed some tears of joy and gratefulness.

Wedding day dawned cool with a nice breeze. It warmed as the day progressed of course, but it was a full day of preparation in the house. Make-up, hair, steaming, ironing…photographers, caterers, decorators, planners…lots of activity all day. All inside in the AC, until the first look…then the wedding party photos. Guests gathered in the living room with champaign flutes until time for the ceremony, when they moved out onto the porch overlooking the ceremony deck. Family assembled on the deck with fans and parasols for sun protection. It was an up-close observation of the service. Peter was the officiant. He and Aaron arrived on the deck to signal the beginning of the wedding. The groomsmen and bridesmaids entered one at a time. When I saw William (the best man), Peter (the officiant) and Aaron (the groom) lined up in a row my heart took an extra beat.

Then Jessica’s brother Paul walked her down the stairs and up to the deck where he handed her off to her dad. She was so beautiful and the look on Aaron’s face, even though they had a first look earlier, was overcome with joy. There is just something about seeing that kind of happiness on your child’s face that does something to you. He found his person. She found hers. They were glowing…and not just from the heat. Eyes locked. Smiles permanently affixed. Months of planning faded away to the moment we came for.

Peter provided a personal and tender ceremony as only a brother could do. It was funny in places with childhood stories. It was meaningful throughout. The vows. The commitment. Most of all their faces totally engrossed in one another, as if there was no one else there but them. Truly beautiful in every way.

After the kiss, they took some private moments to go to the beach, while the cocktail hour began. The food was yummy; a continuation of seafood theme with an oyster bar and lots of other seafood dishes on the buffet. Upstairs there was a table. The sweet memories table. Pictures of loved ones who had passed and bowls of their favorite candy as favors. All our people were there, celebrating with us. Then of course, back downstairs, there were photos of every combination, and then the announcement of the wedding party, bride and groom, and their first dance.

There was a lovely breeze and by the time the sun was down it was not too hot…unless you were dancing…which we all were. We danced until the noise ordinance at 10:00 brought the music to an end. However, that was not the end. Aaron and Jess counted down a jump into the pool after their last dance. They were followed immediately by the wedding party, and it didn’t stop there.

Individual name-chanting and cheering encouraged most of the guests to jump as well. This is how it went…those in the pool would begin chanting someone’s name. The person would shake their head no. The chanting got louder. The guest started removing their phone, watch, wallet, and shoes. Then you knew they were going in. Repeat until most every person was in the pool. Fully dressed.

I looked at Bill. I wanted to go. He said, “Nope.” Aaron got out and said, “Let’s go.” Bill put down his phone, and I knew we were going in. Once we had removed all our non-waterproof items, we held hands…Aaron between us…and took the jump. I must admit that the water felt quite refreshing after all that dancing. It was fun swimming around in my dress, though not how I had imagined the evening would end. It was exhilarating and my full heart might have exploded then.

Sunday morning, we laid out a breakfast charcuterie spread. Guests, family, wedding party, bride, groom, friends; all came and went. Some on the way out. Some stayed for Sunday Funday. Interpretation: Beach day. Low key. Relaxation. Floats. Chairs. Games. Umbrellas. Snacks. Drinks. More laughter. More food. More fun. A great wind down from a busy weekend of celebration.

As far as my grief goes, I miss those we have lost but I felt them there. Dad LOVED Jessica and I know he would be thrilled for them to be married. I am so glad he got to meet her. As much as I miss he and Mom, my feelings are not as raw as they have been. Time has begun its work. It is hard to be sad at such a happy occasion that I know they would celebrate. Of course, there were some sneaky grief moments that I didn’t see coming but they were few and far between.

My takeaway? Gratefulness. I have had so much grace poured on my life and family. I am overwhelmed by this gift. I love my kids as adults. I love who they are. I have come to love them as friends as well as kids. They have such unique views on life. Every moment I get with them is priceless.

We have friends and family who love us well. Supportive people who celebrate with us in happy moments and thankfully stand with us through hard times as well. To see those people, to dance with them, to jump in a pool with them, to hug them, and laugh with them. It is more grace than I deserve.