Have you ever thought about how a small flame of a candle can transform? Candles have the power to change an everyday meal into a romantic event, a ferocious thunderstorm into a family game night, and a hot bath into a luxurious retreat. We use them to create intimacy in large spaces and to generate … Continue reading Candles

I lost another friend to cancer last week. Shelley was a beautiful woman and she fought gallantly to the very end. I saw her a few weeks ago, when her liver function was failing. For me, it was just weeks after Louise’s death, so the pale translucent skin and sunken eyes spoke volumes. Yet her … Continue reading Loss

First. I am doing well. Much better as far as pain goes. I am off the big med during the day for the most part, unless PT pushes me to the point I have to have it. I am using a walking stick most of the time, however, in public, I still feel safer/stronger with … Continue reading Time for an update

Story for the day. Auction Kings, baggage wars, storage wars, how its made, and on and on the list of boring shows goes. Boys are at band camp, and work. Bill sleeping since he works nights now. I am on my own all day…limited movement, pain meds, foggy head…no writing…no reading…both make me nauseous. I … Continue reading A story

I have had many surgeries over the past 6 years or so…all after my cancer diagnosis. This latest one went smoothly as far as complications, needles, anesthesia, all of that. However, pain wise…this is some of the most intense pain I have been in. As a rule, pain medicine and I do not agree with … Continue reading Purpose in the Pain

I had a meltdown at midnight Wednesday night. Not intentionally of course, nevertheless I lost control of my tears. I was sleeping deeply when they came to check my blood pressure. I asked for help to the bathroom, because I am hooked up to three different machines while I sleep, plus my drain and my … Continue reading Melt Down

I was awakened by my old foe panic this morning. Not good. My medical phobia kicked into high gear. I never had these attacks before cancer, but they haven’t left me since, at least not on more major issues. The fear is there any time I have to have a procedure done, but I can … Continue reading Panic

When William was younger, I was walking laps at the park while he played with another boy on the playground. As I approached, they were swinging on the wheelchair swing, right under the sign that said, “Do not play on this equipment, it is reserved for wheelchairs.” His new little friend saw me walking towards … Continue reading “Educational” Vacations

The past couple of days I don’t feel like doing anything…only sleeping. I have tried to power through, heaven knows I have a ton of stuff to do before my surgery, but I cannot. I recognize this feeling. It is grief. It is not sadness, though there is some of that which comes in waves. … Continue reading Grief

I am the sentimental one in my family. What that means is that I get all the old family photos, because I cannot bear to think of my great-great grandparent’s picture being sold at a garage sale. If you have been to my house, you have seen the menagerie of family photos that threaten to … Continue reading Stories