We are moving!  That is exciting.  I have been looking forward to the end of this chapter only to realize that the hundreds of boxes stacked in our house will take months to unload.  And though I might not be as close to the end of the road as I had thought, I will be in my own bed tomorrow night.  That makes everything easier.  I will be able to work at my own pace when I feel like it, in my NEW house with my NEW furniture.  That is a huge blessing to me.  Hard work is ahead but the results will be worth the sweat.

         Things are looking up. We are moving forward on getting back into our house. I have always been so appreciative that God provided us with our home, but now I have even more gratefulness in my heart. To sleep in my OWN bed, to have long sleeved clothing, to cook in a full kitchen…heaven. We still need to shop for furniture. I got the paperwork and it is a mountain. It will take months to sort through and get everything, so for now, I am concentrating on the beds we need to sleep in and the couch for the play room. I think I have found possible replacements…now to find time to go and purchase…maybe this weekend. Today our furniture that was not ruined is going to be cleaned and put back where it goes. We have power. We have water. Almost there.
       The analogy? Well I am sure that it has something to do with being settled in your heart. Your sin has been removed. The foundational stuff ripped out and replaced. The cosmetic surfaces are clean because the core is clean. All is new. Now to settle in and be comfortable in your new place. I don’t mean settle like apathetic or lazy. I mean to be comfortable in your new skin. When God does a deep work it takes years…in fact, I believe we are never fully finished. However, when he does a major renovation in your life, you have to adjust to the new you. You are freed from the past. The smelly smoke is gone. Now to find a way to live there and to stay there, that is the secret of being content.
       Our tendency is to strive. We want it all done today. I am in that mode at this very moment. I am almost willing to settle for whatever I find just so I won’t have to go to another store! But, I have time. The insurance has given me two years to finish replacing stuff. I think in life it is the same. We rush around trying to “finish the work” yet the word says that it’s God’s job…his timing. So resting and being content with the work he has already done is enough. Enjoying the new you and thinking carefully about how to enhance your new heart, are the only requirements. The constant pushing has to cease so you can be at peace with the resurrection work that has been done. Your heart is NEW…what an amazing gift that is! Don’t let the rush of the day and the speed of life steal that precious nugget of truth from you. Reflect on the new you DAILY with a grateful heart and you will find that God loves to be appreciated. He loves to be loved with a clean heart.

I have two friends that have just had their worlds turned upside down.  Both are about to loose husbands in very different ways unless the miraculous happens.  The first woman learned that her husband’s cancer has taken over his body completely.  It has spread like weeds digging in its roots in every bodily system.  She went home from work knowing that they will be telling the kids this weekend that their daddy will die very soon.  In the community our hearts are broken for her.  There is sorrow, but there is also compassion as money is collected and meals taken.

The other women lost her husband to greed.  He disappeared taking millions from his company and investors with him.  His sin spread, gradually taking over his entire life until one day last week when he gave in.  She too had to explain to her children that their father will not be coming back.  She lost everything and is alone to face the enormity of a federal investigation into her family’s personal life which includes the many secrets of her husband.  In the community our hearts are broken for her.  There has been prayer and support while she has moved from her home and tried to find a job very quickly.  Many have come to her aid.

However, many have made use of the rumor mill by way of the internet.  They have questioned online in a public forum details of her life in the midst of this trauma.  There are things being said that are not true and questions being asked that are nobody’s business. I am aware that many people were hurt when he took the money and ran, but does that justify dragging this woman through the mud?  Not knowing any of the details of her husbands’ business affairs, she is facing this monstrous challenge all on her own, while she sells all that they had.  It is my prayer that people will consider how they would want to be treated it such a situation.

Two women.  Two very different reactions from the community.  Grief comes into our lives in numerous ways.  The results of our grief depend on if we choose to be bitter or if we choose to allow God do his work in the midst of our pain.  It is a very intimate and personal process when your life is ripped open. Many times the ripples affect everyone around you and then spread even further…because God doesn’t work in isolation.  Trust me he is working in both women’s lives.  But he is also working in the community and teaching us how to love others and have compassion for them. Let’s let him soften our hearts and teach us to care for our sisters as we would want to be cared for.  After all, we are his hands and feet.   

Bill went to the doctor today to find out the results of his MRI.  Not good news.  There is degeneration in his neck. There is a bulging disc.  The doctor today said it will require surgery it is simply a matter of how long we can hold it off.  He has been referred to a neurologist.  As soon as he can get in to a visit we will find out our options.  It is just one more thing to add to the last couple of years in our crazy world.  Some one sent me some flair on facebook that said...It is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.  So do you want to dance with me?

It seems that William had his foot run over by a car last week...only he forgot to tell me. How I could not notice his limping is beyond me.  I didn't know anything was amiss until Friday night when he did not march at the football game.  Later he explained that he was trying to get out of a friend's car to get into Aaron's. The only problem was he didn't wait until the car had come to a complete stop.  When he got out he stumbled slightly and his foot ended up under the tire just as the car came to a stop.  The driver didn't realize what had happened until William started screaming to "Get it off!"  Fortunately it is not broken...I took him today to have it x-rayed.  The doctor put it in a boot and wants him to wear it for three weeks.  He said that will allow tendons and ligaments to heal without stress.  William is not happy about the boot but does think that it helps him to walk without as much pain.  Never a dull moment at the Gunnin house...
 

Shhh. Don't tell the kids I have a computer.  I am secretly working to get caught up on my writing and facebook page.  I got my new computer today at school.  I am excited but still figuring out how to do things.  My desktop was totally clear...I don't know how to get everything the way I like it.  I am a creature of habit and my icons aren't where I need them!  I am slowly getting things where I want them.  I am sure it will take awhile.
Just to update you...Bill had an MRI today.  Of course we won't know anything until next week, but the doc said the x-rays showed degeneration so it is likely that discs are involved.  He was also concerned that Bill hadn't had much pain relief when he was on the prednizone.  It is not looking good.  However, we have hope...and will wait and see.

The clouds are marching slowly in unison across the sky, bringing contour to the mountains.  Their shadows float, creating images that change the landscape below.  The trees are beginning their transformation from shades of summer green, to reds and yellows.  It is a slight change so far, but the cool brisk breeze whispers more colors are coming.  Seasons change.  As sure as the sun rises, seasons change.  
     We are in a time of change, just like the landscape in front of me changes slightly, then suddenly, so does the climate of our country.  I cannot get the upcoming election out of my mind.  No matter who wins, things are going to change.  The stock market knows it too.   After the autumn comes the winter, then spring…thank God for the spring.  I feel winter coming in more ways than one.  However, it is not a time to fret and worry because no matter how many winters I have weathered, spring has always come…and with it hope.  
     I feel that hope today.  Fall is here and the coolness of the day puts pep in my step.  It is my favorite time of year, because the leaves are changing and that means holidays are just around the corner.  Holidays are reminders of what is important.  If you can get beyond the commercialism, underneath the all the stuff lays faith and family…the bedrock of who we are. This year our surroundings will be different for family events.  The culture is likely to be different as well.   Yet in the midst God remains the same, like the mountains are the same as the seasons change.  
    Our house is almost finished…resurrection in the midst of upheaval.  Just like in life. The smoke smell is gone; what is left smells like new construction…the scent of paint and freshly cut wood.  Life-giving smells.  The days of sin covered garments are over.  The work has been done, and now there is a new robe of many colors covering all that was transformed underneath.  The outside is reflecting the inside work.  It is the cosmetic time…the fun time…after the gut-wrenching, painful cleaning out.  I am transfixed with colors and smells of seasons around me.  I am quietly and seriously watching the times while still seeing hope in the future.  God is sovereign.  God is good.   He will hold us and keep us because...God is hope.

Just so you know I haven't forgotten to write.  My computer crashed and I have not gotten a new one yet.  The school is a bit slow in issueing a new one because of other stuff that takes priority.  We have others at home but not quite at my fingertips like my own.  I haven't had much time to write, but I do have quite a bit brewing in my brain...ahh the dependence on technology is complete.  I can barely write on paper anymore...takes too long.  Hopefully I will be able to make some time this weekend to fight for a computer at home to write. However, Hannah is coming home for her fall break so I am not making any promises. :) 

    Did you think I had forgotten you?  I have NOT fallen off the planet.  I have been having some computer issues.  I also have been very busy.  An update on Bill first... his pain has become manageable... most of the time.  It still comes strongly if his medicine wears off but as long as he has the meds he can function.  That is better than before when even with meds he was hurting.  He has been going to physical therapy and doing exercises as well as medication.  Now that the steriods have worn off it seems the pain is back but not as acute as before.  He is going to the doctor this week for follow up so we will see what he says...

Could it be that this financial crisis we are experiencing is the “big” thing I have been sensing?  For over a year I have thought there was change in the wind.  I have felt it was larger than a simple election, though this one is significant, what I feel is bigger than that.  Gas is in short supply.  Investments are in the tank.  Real estate is completely flat. Predictions are dire at best. All of our securities are being stripped from under our feet.  That is the bottom line.

There is a storm brewing…it is actually upon us.  It is huge and we need to prepare our hearts.  If all falls and fails are we ready for what that means?  I am afraid that our generation is unfamiliar with the kind of sacrifice that may be required if financial ruin comes to our country.  The ominous feelings that hover over my heart lead me to believe that things are just getting started.  God is crying out for our attention and it just may be that it will take going through our pocketbooks to get it. 

Yet there is peace.  God is fully aware of our circumstances.  He knows what will happen and when.  This is a time to draw close to him.  Currently, the gas crisis is causing families to stay home.  It is making us re-think our priorities and become more aware of the differences between our needs and our wants.   It is a good thing on many levels.  There is no need for panic but a call to prayer.  To see the darkness that is ahead and rest in the sovereignty of God is something that faith compels us towards.  Peace in the midst of panic.  A light in the darkness for those that cannot understand as their money disappears.  It is this time that God will show himself strong.  He will reveal himself to us as we wait on him with our hearts open to his voice.  Are you listening?