I am finding it is hard to sit with ongoing grief. It is different than a “regular” loss, if there is such a thing. This dementia journey comes with more ups and downs but with a steady downward trajectory. I find myself trying to dissect my feelings. I am happy I still have my mom. … Continue reading Sitting With Grief
Health
Cancer Free
Fifteen years ago, today, at the beginning of 2007, I sat in the chemo chair for the last time. It was my last 6 hours of treatment, which led to the beautiful words “cancer free.” I got to wear the elephant scarf (not sure why it was an elephant) and sign my name to the … Continue reading Cancer Free
Life is Short
Life is short. It’s a phrase we hear often…and it’s accurate. Compared to eternity…or even compared to history…our lives are but a blink. Small blips on a never-ending timeline. We usually use this phrase to remind ourselves of the brevity of life, so we will remember to focus on truly living to the fullest every … Continue reading Life is Short
Sweetie
“Sweetie, Sweetie, Sweetie,” she said. Three times in a row. “My Sweetie.” Her eyes lit up and a smile crept up her cheeks. Her hands reached for him. His eyes filled with tears, as he reached back, “I love you so much,” he choked out. She leaned forward, lips puckered, reaching for a kiss. He … Continue reading Sweetie
Brain Injury Awareness Month
I’ve been mulling this piece in my mind for a bit. I usually reserve my TBI posts for the February 2nd anniversary of Bill’s car accident. However, March is brain injury awareness month so I am breaking my pattern in order to shed some light for those of you who might not walk in the … Continue reading Brain Injury Awareness Month
Glorious Day
Grieving a person who is still alive is difficult. My heart is a puzzle and Mom is a piece. Without her the whole thing threatens to fall apart, yet she is still here. Her piece of my puzzle isn’t gone, it gradually fades creating a transparent hole. The hole gets bigger each time I want … Continue reading Glorious Day
Gravity
Walking yesterday, I felt gravity pulling my shoes down. It flowed through my body and I could feel the heavy weight of it. An invisible force always tugging towards the center of the earth, and it was in my feet. Every step heavier than the previous one. Every upward movement a battle. To lift my … Continue reading Gravity
Where the Rubber Meets the Road
If you are a person of faith, difficult times, like the ones we are in, are where the rubber meets the road. It is a time where, what you say you believe and what you actually believe, come into conflict with one another. Reality hits you square between the eyes. When you lose your job, … Continue reading Where the Rubber Meets the Road
Heart for the Nations
My heart awakens the deep places within me. Never mind the foggy darkness outside my window. The heart never knows the time on a clock, only the times and seasons catch its attention. When it is awake, I pay attention no matter what the clock says. So, I am up, on my knees in the … Continue reading Heart for the Nations
Batten Down the Hatches
Prepare for a storm. Get ready. Equip yourself for trouble. The old 18th century nautical phrase, batten down the hatches, was coined when sailors, literally nailed battens (wooden rods) over tarps to prevent water from flooding into the hatch of a ship during a storm. It was a preventative measure to keep the ship from … Continue reading Batten Down the Hatches