Written Sunday afternoon
So I am sitting at Ray and Louise’s house…nannie sitting. Ray had to go to Atlanta today, so we were going to come and visit with Louise, until she found out about it. She called Bill and insisted that she did not need anyone to come sit with her. She was very firm about it. He got off the phone and said, “What can we do?” We knew that even though she is better, she is still not entirely safe. Part of that is her balance, the other part is her insistence that she can do whatever she wants to, including driving if we would just let her. I told Bill, “She will just have to be mad at us. That is how it is with brain injured people. They don’t get it and they don’t like to be reminded of their state.” We settled on letting me come so we could have a “girls day” and maybe do some things around the house or go to the store to distract her from realizing she was being baby sat. Our plan failed. As soon as I walked in she started on how ridiculous it is for me to be here. How she just wants to be home alone in her house. How I need to go, because I am a busy person. I offered the “girls day” option and she shot it right down. I have taken cover in the kitchen, while she is in the living room. I am lying low, pretending to be invisible. She has napped, taken the dogs out for a short walk, and answered the phone. She talked on the phone and tried to give the person on the other end some information…but couldn’t read her address book enough to get it. She also couldn’t remember the names she wanted to give. I found the info for her and she gave it to the caller. After, she was upset that she couldn’t even do something so simple. I said, “That’s why I am here.” I don’t know if she understands that I am not trying to watch her like a hawk, but rather want to offer help, and keep her safe. I am keeping my distance…head injured people sometimes need distance. Until they try to cook. I offered to make dinner and she agreed to “help.” We made tomato soup and grilled cheese. She stirred and heated empty bowls in the microwave, I guess so they would be warm for the soup? Not sure on that one. I am in her space, her kitchen and she wants to be in charge here. Can you blame her? I am trying to be respectful of her need to do what she once knew best. The storm is passed for now and we work as a team cooking together. When Ray returns, she tells him how upset she is that he did not listen to her when she said she didn’t need any one with her. Then she said, “And I notice that you had to get my favorite family member to do it.” It was a sweet olive branch and I took it.