Sorry its been awhile since I updated you all on Louise. With the walk, I have been occupied writing about the experience. However, that doesn’t mean that I have not been aware of how Louise is doing. Bill spent a couple of days visiting her last week. I went by yesterday and we went again this morning. At the moment, her face is still bruised up from her fall, though it is looking much better than it did. She is up and around, using her walker some. On Friday, she fell three times during the day. This prompted the physical therapist to change her program. She is going to switch to a more intensive therapy they call regain. I didn’t get a lot of details yet, but they go this week to see about what it requires. It is in Gainesville and I think that is where she will go for therapy. My guess is that a therapist cannot bring what is needed to help her gain back muscle in her legs, and that there will be more equipment at the location in town.
For now, though our biggest concern is her mental state. The big fall and continued falling have really taken a toll on how she sees herself. She told me she is depressed and angry. Bill said that she seems to have given up on things. Today she said she isn’t even aware of what day it is anymore. That really bothers her a lot. What we have seen is that she is taking this frustration out on Ray. He watches her like a hawk now since she falls so often. She resents that terribly. She does not want to be “treated like a baby.” She fusses if he tries to help her and says she can do it herself. But then she cannot.
For example, he fixed her lunch the other day when I was there and she wanted more dressing on her salad. He got up to get the dressing and she yelled that she could do it herself. She did. Then proceeded to put her salad in the microwave. He said, “You don’t want to put a salad in the microwave.” She said, “You watch me.” In about 30 seconds she took it out and ate a bite and said, “Perfect. Just the way I like it.” When he tried to get the dishes together to take to the sink, she insisted that he let her do it. Then when she tried, she knocked over a glass of water all over the table. She said, “This is my life now.” I can feel her frustration. So much of her life has been taking care of the house and of Ray. I think that not doing that anymore has stolen her motivation. She sees no reason to get up in the morning. Bill has offered to take her to our Christmas production in a few weeks. He is hoping that giving her something to shoot for, a goal of some type, will help to give her some motivation. I don’t know if it will work, but he figures if she doesn’t feel like she has purpose in life she will not try to do any thing. So the thought of giving her something to work towards might help her to try.
As far as prayer goes, please pray for Ray as he tries to manage her angry, depressed moods. I remember from when Bill was head injured how difficult it is to handle when your spouse yells and fusses at you. It can take a toll quickly. He is hanging tough, but I am sure he would appreciate any prayers. Also pray that Louise would come out of the depressed state she is in. That somehow she would see herself as valuable again so that she could connect again with the world outside her house. The cancer is not her enemy at the moment. It is stable according to the doctors. She needs to build the strength in her legs and she needs a new mental outlook. Please pray for both. Thanks again for your continued love and prayers.

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