Last night I went for a loop around the lake. Somehow, the trail was calling me to walk among the brilliant colors of fall. I think that in my heart I was desiring to walk with God in the cool of the evening. I wanted the peaceful companionship I have when I am with him in nature. It comforts and soothes me when I am weary. I also was acutely aware of the fact that today might have turned our lives upside down once again. I figured it would be one more night of quiet, before a possible whirlwind of medical activity. I am happy to report that it turned out not to be the case. My scan results came back today and I have a benign (great word) lesion on my liver. It is stable and will only need to be watched at my yearly scans. What a huge weight off my shoulders and much praise to God in my mouth!
I noted, as I drove into the parking lot, that there were people around. (Since my bear incident, I am very aware of the surroundings and I always have my bear bells with me.) I crossed the bridge with a cool breeze coming off the lake. I love the chill in the air of fall. It was a beautiful evening. As I contemplated, the possible upcoming events I wondered how I would deal with it if the news was not good. I heard God’s answer. “Keep going.” The words stuck with me, I think because they apply to so many areas of my life right now. My feet were moving along the path in a quilt of autumn leaves. The sun shining through the trees was like stained glass as it illuminated my way. Keep going. In my cancer journey, I had to keep going. No matter what things looked like…just keep moving forward. When the doctor ordered this most recent scan, it was a rude awakening that the journey is not over just yet. It may actually never be over to the extent that I want it to be, because I will always have the history and the nagging question…What if? But I cannot dwell there. Keep going. The smooth water reflecting the colors of the leaves interrupted my thoughts. As I looked out over the lake, the foliage floated on the breeze into the water. Seasons change. I was inspired. Keep going.
The extension of my medical expedition to become a fitness journey in order to take my life back was a huge step for me. I have to say that there are days that I don’t want to walk, or jazzercise or ride. Keep moving. My weight has reached a plateau. I am back in my routine, but the losses are not coming like they did in the spring. Keep going. The fact is that in the past I would have been discouraged when the scale turned on me. I would have quit. Now things are different. I know that if I keep going I will have success. I just have to put one foot in front of the other, day after day. I can do it. I have done it. Keep going. Just like my stroll…step, step, step. The soft pine straw that padded the path has been replaced with noisy crunching. The moon rose, briefly sharing the pink sky with the sun. It was dusk, in the fall, and it was beautiful…peaceful. My mind began to rest as my walk came to a conclusion. God’s words to me settled in my heart.
This weekend, I will walk the three day. 60 miles in 3 days. It will be a milestone. It will be a goal realized. It will be a healing journey. I know it will be a huge challenge. I hope that my feet are ready, but I have a plan. Keep going.