The doctor’s appointments went well today. Not too much wonderful news, but not too much bad either. The eye doctor said that there isn’t much more to do at this point but try to let her eyes adjust to the glasses. That was disappointing to Louise. The other doctor adjusted some of her medicine to try to help manage some of the latest symptoms. We will know the result of that once the new prescriptions are filled.
I was talking to Louise today and she said she has come to realize that she will never be back to her old self. She said how hard that is for her. She said she is trying to think positive, but that so much is wrong it is hard. It seems to me that this wrestling with her disabilities, is causing some of the depression we are seeing. Understandably so. She knows she will probably never drive again and that her eyes will not see the same. I think she is grieving to some degree. She has lost a lot and stands to loose a lot more in the coming months. The reality of the disease seems to be setting in. She said if she can just accept these things she could be happier, but it is hard. She repeated that over to me several times. My heart was breaking for her. Please pray that she will be able to reconcile this most difficult wrestling within herself. And pray that she will be able to find some peace in her heart regarding the losses she is facing. It is hard for us all to watch the changes that are happening, but most of all it is hard for her to know and not fret over it. It is my prayer that some kind of acceptance will be possible so that she can begin to focus on what she can do instead of what she cannot. I think that is her desire as well.