My Secret

I have a confession to make. I have been keeping a secret from you, my regular readers. You have asked me why I am not writing, and now I am coming out of the closet to tell you I have jumped on the fitness bandwagon. I hesitate to write about it, because I have failed so miserably in the past. You see, when I say it out loud (or in this case, write it on my blog) it makes it real, therefore other people know. If other people know and I am unsuccessful, it is another humiliating defeat on the road to diet, weight loss and overall health. In secret, I have joined jazzercise, and since December, I have lost 18 pounds. This beginning of success has given me the confidence to bring you into the loop and share yet another of my life journeys with you. I don’t really consider this a new journey, but a continuation of my trip to Cancerland…the other half of the trip actually. It has been three years since my last chemo treatment. Quite a milestone for me. I have continued my check-ups and scans, blood work and tests faithfully. They say that all is well, so far so good.
But we all know that there are several pieces to the good health puzzle. My problem has always been putting all the pieces together at once. Exercise is one piece. I have been going to Curves for four years regularly three times a week at least. That in itself is an accomplishment for someone who hates exercise as much as I do. After my cancer, I knew that I had to continue and even increase my exercise. It was just too important to ignore. So I added a stationary bike at home before school each morning.
Food is another piece. Even with my exercise kind of coming together or at least becoming consistent, I found myself sliding into old habits with my eating. I just love food, always have. Then I heard about a thing called e-mealz, a subscription that plans your weekly menu, and grocery list for you. It is like a miracle. I no longer have to think about what to make for dinner. I just buy what they say and make it…easy, easy,easy!!! (It is just $5 per month!) With only two kids at home, I no longer have to make the portions I once did when I cooked for two months at a time. It has been a lifesaver for this busy working mom, and they have a low carb plan for diabetics where the recipes taste good enough my kids like them.
With the food piece in order, I needed inspiration…especially after so many failures, I cannot do any of it if I am not motivated, and that has been my biggest problem for years. I have several friends who have inspired me in this area. (You know who you are.) I decided to join Jazzercise at the insistence of some of these friends, even though I was greatly intimidated. I mean you have to really be able to move to do it, with an extra hundred pounds I could find every excuse not to move! I started watching The Biggest Looser, and I figured if those people could work out as hard as they do for many hours a day, surely I could manage one hour a day. I have to tell you I thought I would die the first few weeks. Hard work, but I knew it was the increase in intensity that I needed.
Now I have been going for three months, and it is not nearly as hard as the beginning. I can really feel the difference and it is enough of a boost that I am inspired to share with others…you my readers. Now I know that I will not become a fitness trainer or anything, but I am seeing and feeling like the stars are aligning in a way that brings all the pieces together. Face it, we all know what we need to do…it is the doing it all that is hard. So I am taking baby steps. I have to for my health. It is not really about the pounds as much as it is about the internal benefits to my health. I do not want cancer again, period. If this will help me avoid it, I will do it and keep doing it.
My cancer journey is being continued to include a road to good health. I don’t want to just maintain myself cancer free, I want to make sure I thrive in the second chance at life I have been given. You will be hearing more about this in the days to come. Live Fully!!!!

One thought on “My Secret

  1. The life of every man(Woman) is a diary in which he means to write
    one story, and writes another, and his humbliest hour is when he compares
    the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it. (Barrie)

    If I can stop one heart from breaking.
    I shall not die in vain.
    If I can ease one life from aching,or cool one pain,
    Or help one fainting robin into is nest again,
    I shall not live in vain. (Emily Dickinson)

    If you aren’t living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.
    (Nursing home resident)

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