There have been some tears this week. At first, I didn’t recognize the source. So many things happening, some of them good, some of them painful. I chalked my lethargic state up to having a fabulous week last week at the Folk School. Always fun, but also always exhausting. I came home tired. Said goodbye … Continue reading Another First
family
The Small Things
I slide out of my bed and pull on my yellow shorts and striped yellow and white tank top. My bare feet pad quietly out of the bedroom. He sits on the porch. Watching the waves roll in. Never a coffee drinker, his hands instead caress his camera. Dad. Taking in the sunrise with his … Continue reading The Small Things
Sister Tattoos (Part 2)
Four years ago, Melinda and I got sister tattoos as part of our caregiver journey. I wrote about it here. Back then, we marked our hard journey; etched it on our bodies as a way to memorialize the love between Mom and Dad. Dementia was taking its toll and Dad was a weary knight in … Continue reading Sister Tattoos (Part 2)
Bracing Myself
Me among the daffodils as a child. When grieving, I know to brace myself for the “firsts” …first holiday season, first Mother’s Day, first Father’s Day, etc… This Friday will be Mom’s birthday. She would have been 86. My photo memories have already sent me last year’s pictures of her birthday celebration. My heart was … Continue reading Bracing Myself
I Believe in Thank Yous
I believe in thank yous. Showing appreciation is such a small thing, but it can have big results. And, it is not hard to do. Simple really. Try it. Say thank you to someone today and watch their face light up. It has to be genuine and your face must show that you are indeed … Continue reading I Believe in Thank Yous
Hole in My Soul
I lost my voice. No talking for several days, shouting to create a whisper. Just as well. I haven’t had much to say lately. No words, at least. Lots of feelings. None that I can really describe. Turns out, a week or so of silence is just what I needed. There is no pressure to … Continue reading Hole in My Soul
January 2, 2025
As of today, I have reached 19 post-cancer bonus years. I continue to be amazed of all that I carry from my journey through Cancerland. Nothing can teach me hard lessons like a hard road, and the 19 years cancer free, is the trade-off for all pain of that horrible time. With lots of tears, … Continue reading January 2, 2025
Dad’s Eulogy
Sunday we laid Dad to rest right next to Mom. It was a cold, but sunny day. The service was beautiful and Dad would have been pleased to see his friends and family in attendance. We know because of the cold weather and the holidays, many who would have liked to attend could not. Therefore, … Continue reading Dad’s Eulogy
Surrender
I had never seen Dad afraid of anything…until Mom got sick. I saw him set his chin with trembling lips. I saw him stand and smile with tearful eyes. I saw him shore himself up with heavy shoulders. Watching him anticipate each new loss was like watching him lose part of himself. Every time Mom … Continue reading Surrender
Tossing and Turning
I can’t sleep. Tossing and turning, turns to wandering thoughts, turns to climbing out of bed and into my writing chair. The little girl inside of me speaks up. She reminds me that when she couldn’t sleep, Dad would let her climb onto his lap in his chair. It was a Lazy Boy that creaked … Continue reading Tossing and Turning
