Hannah and I have been recovering together today.  She had her teeth out this morning and already is swelled up like a chipmunk...poor thing.  I am doing better today than yesterday as far as aches and stomach...but now I am getting weak.  I can tell if I walk or stand up for too long because I break out in a cold sweat. So I am not standing or walking any more than I have to.  I am being wise and taking it very slow...mainly hanging out around the house.  This is almost over!!!

It hurts...I don't know how many more times I could go through this.  It is a good thing this is the LAST time.  I am taking heavy pain meds and lying in bed.  That is all I can do at the moment.  This is the last yucky time.  Horray!  I am looking at the bright side.

Tomorrow Hannah is having all four of her wisdom teeth out.  Yes, just one more person in our family having surgery.  Bill took her yesterday, she has been having some pain, and they had an opening on Friday.  Since she is already out of school on Monday that seemed like the perfect time.  Before I go back to work and while I am still lying around the house.  That way we can lie around together.  In a few weeks alllllll of this will be done and life will go on.  I am looking forward to that day.

There are some really great things in life.  Family, friends, and people that you meet along the way.  God is so faithful to bring you what you need when you need it, whether it is a life style change or a kind word.  I am finishing up one part of this journey but not before God has brought me some really great things.  Family ties have deepened, friendships renewed and there are some great healthcare people out there that do their jobs well.  I have learned to slow down and look for God around me.  He is in the hospitals and doctors offices. The people all around need him…a word of encouragement or a smile.  Sometimes they just need someone to take a minute to understand them. 

I also have learned there are things that I cannot control…like how long I will sit waiting for a lab result or a shot.  There was a patient today at the hospital that was continually asking when will I get my medicine.  How long will it take?  Will I be done soon?  I figure she must be new to this journey.  She is still thinking that life can be scheduled and that everything revolves around her activities.  I was her.  I am not her now.  At least until my life gets back to “normal”.  I hope that I will never return to the place where I don’t see those around me because of my busy life.  I pray that my normal has changed.

Today I felt good for the most part.  I am getting tired now and starting to feel the effects some.  The best part is that this is the LAST time I will feel these effects!  I can do these next few days because I have arrived at the end of the tunnel…at least the darkest part of the tunnel. Now to continue my journey with the light surrounding me…that I can do.

What a glorious feeling to be through!  Like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders...I wasn't even fully aware of how heavy a weight it was.  My port worked great.  I didn't get too groggy...just an 1 1/2 nap...then I was pretty awake.  My mom came with me and did some shopping for my newly remodeled basement while I slept.  My friend Mindy brought my lunch.  My friend Jessica came and took pictures...again.  I will post them some time soon.  I got to hold Flossie the Elephant...she is a stuffed animal for you to have on your last day!!!  I had phone calls from numerous well wishers that called to scream and cheer in my ear.  I came home to a wonderful dinner by my mother-in-love and my mom got me balloons...my sister sent flowers.  Pete and Heather came over and helped my boys shoot off fireworks in honor of me! (It was raining on New Years so we saved them for this occasion)  We had all the neighbors lights on, wondering what in the world was happening.  We had sparkling grape juice and drank a toast to living Life Fully.  It was a day of celebration. My new motto is...live fully.

Rain...sleep...medicine...healing...resting for tomorrow.  Lazy day.

I was awakened this morning at 5:00am with a urinary tract infection.  I got up to go to the bathroom and it felt like molten lava poured out of me...I know that is probably more than you needed to know.  I waited until 8:00 to call my doctor who is a wonderful soul that has bailed me out too many times to count throughout my ordeal.  She called in some medicine and I was at the pharmacy when it opened, with an open bottle of water in hand so I could swallow my pills before I left the register.  Did I say this one was a bad one?  It just came on so fast with no warning at all. I guess I am more prone to infections now...even though my count is up.  I did call my chemo nurse and she said as long as I don't have a fever we are still on for Monday morning.  By then my antibiotics should be working well.  I am already feeling better after lying around the house all day.  I am going to rest tomorrow too so Monday won't have to be delayed again!  William is very sore today.  Not moving or talking much.  We are just hanging around together, taking medicine and trying to get well.

William's surgery went well.  Another long day but the doctor said he did great.  He is drugged up on pain medicine now and will be for a couple of days.  On another good note, I get to have my LAST chemo on Monday.  They called today to say all is set for Monday morning.  They left a message, so I don't know my exact count but they wouldn't proceed if they thought they were too low.

Fireworks at my house Monday night...around 7:00 weather permitting.  CELEBRATE!!

Tomorrow William has part 2 of his sinus surgery.  He is scheduled for 1:00.  Please pray that we will not have to wait 3 extra hours this time.  This one should be easier than the first...at least it was a few years ago when Peter had it.  I am glad that I didn't have chemo this week so I will be up for this tomorrow. 

I should also find out tomorrow if I will have chemo on Monday.  My bloodwork was sent to the lab and I had my red count shot today.  So at some point tomorrow they will call and say it's a go or not.  I feel pretty good so I think everything is up enough...we will see.  If I go on Monday, we are having fireworks at our house on Monday night.  We didn't get to shoot them off for New Years because of the weather.  All are welcome to this little celebration.  I will try to post my blood results tomorrow night when we get home.  (It seems kind of like waiting for the score from a big game doesn't it? :)    

The life is in the blood.  That statement is true.  All of my organs can work perfectly but if my blood is weak they will begin to shut down.  I am finding that human blood is an amazing thing.  It is made in your bone marrow.  Blood carries oxygen, it carries waste, it clots…it keeps you alive.  All of this has been a fascinating learning experience for me…one who hates to see blood.  I have a new appreciation for the red stuff that pumps through my veins and keeps me alive while I am not even aware of it.

I also have a new appreciation for what it means to be ‘washed in the blood of Christ.’  It was no small sacrifice he made for me.  His blood flowed freely.  He chose to let his life ebb from his body to wash me.  My blood was bad blood.  It was contaminated, spiritually speaking.  It was weak and killing me until Jesus, the God-man offered me a transfusion.  His divine blood…for my diseased.  His lifeblood for mine.

  What a powerful image that is to me these days.  I hold on, hoping my blood is strong enough tomorrow to accomplish what it cannot today.  I beg not to have a transfusion so as not to delay my recovery from this dreaded cancer.  Isn’t that what we do spiritually too?  We try on our own to make ourselves strong.  We think that our blood can make a come back so we won’t have to ask for a transfusion.  Yet it is there for the asking…for free.  All the oxygen we need to live fully but we are not even aware of it.

I don’t know if I will need a transfusion or not.  I have my blood drawn, yet again, tomorrow.  One more day to know if my journey continues or enters a new faze.  If I my count is low or high does not make a difference…I will always need his blood because there is power in the blood.

I hope everyone had a happy New Year celebration.  We have had  fun fixing up the basement the past few days.  It was re-painted before Christmas and that started a domino effect.  It is looking good and there are only a couple of things left to do...finishing touches. 

My blood was too low to get Chemo today.  That is okay. I have figured out that this isn't up to me...so I am at peace about it.  I guess my body needs a rest for this last treatment and God knows that since he made my body.  I will have more tests on Thursday to see how things look.  Thanks for your prayers...maybe next week will be the week of celebration!