This blog is an encouragement for some dear friends of mine whose family is currently facing more than one crisis at time.

Crisis arises, family rallies.  Emergency interrupts, friends rescue. Fear strangles, faith resurrects.   Life traumas bring out the best in people.  When all hell is breaking loose, those that love you, come to help.  Family and friends race to their knees on your behalf.  People you have not seen for years crawl out of the woodwork to support and under gird you with kind words. When the battle for life begins, there are cheerleaders in your corner you did not even realize where there.  Others that have experienced the fight before you, come beside to provide the hope that all will be well.  Neighbors you did not know bring your family dinner.  Friends honor commitments you made, and rescue you from not fulfilling them.   It is almost worth the trauma to see this amazing community in action…almost. 

 It is humbling really, to know that all of those people care so much about you and yours.  Perspective changes, as you watch from the bed or chair.  I for one had no idea that there were that many people I had affected in one way or another.  People would send cards that had the most wonderful notes about how I had somehow influenced their lives.  They were well-wishers that prayed, and held my name before the Creator of the Universe night and day…humbling.

  And what about the Creator of the Universe??  He poured out his spirit of peace in the midst of the turmoil that bubbled all around.  He showed his strength in my weakness.  The one that breathed the stars, whispered in my ear gently telling me his secrets and assuring me that he is sovereign.  He drew me closer to his heart and he does it still. 

A life threatening crisis gets our attention. It reminds us that life is a gift, that friends and family matter, and that God is in control.  We become aware of what is important and what is extra.  The little annoyances of everyday fade into the huge picture of who God is.  His love for us…these little tiny creatures…expands in our vision of a Heavenly Father who cares for even tinier details…like the cells in our bodies. 

Trauma also opens our eyes to see how blessed we are and gives us eyes to see others who are not.  Sitting in a waiting room with a loving husband at your side, makes you aware of the woman across from you without one.  Having visitors come and sit with you at a chemo lab shines a spotlight on a person that rode a bus to get there.  A man throwing up in a trashcan in the next chair over breaks your heart to pieces because he is all alone.  Everything looks different after a crisis.  It is as if God puts his eyes in your sockets so you can see past your own blessings to his compassion.  You realize there is a light in you, which glows from the inside out.   It attracts others to you and your family.  They are drawn by the love that you share with each other. They see the sharing of the burden of life, and you can almost hear their thoughts, “Is there such a thing as that kind of love?  Could I ever have what they have?”  Now when you see those questions on the faces of those all around you, your heart leaps to share the answer.  A kind word and a smile begin to open their hearts to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, there is something to this love they are witnessing.  The words you write, or the phone call you share can change someone’s whole way of thinking.  It is then that you realize that the crisis you have survived had a divine purpose. 

The bible says that all was created to display the Glory of God.  The blind man was healed, the lame walked, the sick got well, and the dead were resurrected.  People watched from a distance.  In awe and with hope they came to seek him…asking the unspoken questions, “Is this for real?” and more importantly “Do you love me enough to do it for me? Am I important?”  They longed to find him then, and they are watching still.  They will see him there in the hospital, hear him in your words, and feel him in your hugs.  Even now in your crisis…He is displaying his Glory.

Drats! Another UTI....I was so hopeful that I was dealing with it herbally.  I am on antibiotics yet again...after this round I will go on a low dose long term (12 weeks) version in hopes that will handle it once and for all.  DRATS!

On the brighter side...it is pouring down rain!  Is rain really a bright side???  Anyway, I love it.  We needed it so badly.  Thank you God for rain.

It is a day that we all wish we could forget, but we cannot.  We wish it had never happened, but it did. History changed 6 years ago today.  Even now, we still grapple with the enormity of what happened that day.  The images will not ever be erased from our memories.  For me, this year, I feel quiet…a reverent kind of quiet that mourns but does not weep.  The weeping has past. The nightmares are over…at least for me.  I am sure that the families still have them.  They remember the phone calls and the numb days of horror following.  Wondering, walking and waiting for some word from their father or brother or daughter.  Knowing that they were not coming home but hoping anyway.

 Hope. It is a word, which causes us to keep moving. Maybe…it could be…might…someday…in the future. Words that show us hope is still alive, the flame still burning.   For our country, hope calls to us, inviting us to a bright future free from terrorist threats.  It reminds us not to forget the loss of the innocent as we pursue the future. Finding our way back to innocence is not possible, but hope says we can overcome the thief that took it away.  We can trust that God is bigger than it all, and that with him hope springs eternal.  He is the spark of hope within us that never dies.  He urges us to move forward into his plans and purposes. The day…we will never forget.  The spark of hope for the future, we will carry with us always.

Last night this new name of God caught my imagination. I want you to close your eyes and think of a bottle of bubbles. (Stay with me a minute) Remember back, to how you blew through the wand creating big bubbles along with lots of smaller ones.  Remember the delight as you chased and tried to catch them.  A few breaths and there were hundreds of bubbles floating in the air…like a summer shower. 

Today children still love bubbles, and I do not like to work in a nursery that is not stocked with a large bottle of them. Toddlers come in crying, but after a few breaths, the giggles bubble up (pardon the pun).  Suddenly, their problems are forgotten as they relish dancing in the downpour. All of them react differently…some pop them, some gently catch them, and some just stand in awe and watch.  It is fun to be the one blowing the bubbles, the source of their delight.  I have been known to blow so many I made myself dizzy!

I bet you can see where I am going with this…God did that, only with fire and light!  He did not need a wand, he simply blew and the stars of all sizes were created…billions and billions of them.  On a clear night, when we look into the sky, we stand in awe. Our problems seem small after this gaze into the heavens.  The stars are huge, bright balls of light hanging adrift above our heads.  From a distance, we do not understand the massive size of them, but some of us have chased and tried to catch them.  We call these people astronomers.  The pictures that their telescopes have sent us are amazing.  They show us things too huge to comprehend.  They show us the glory of God.  We are the children who stand and watch with wonder.  He is the God who delights in creating them for us, and then delights in our delight! I can almost hear him say, “You like that one…wait till you see this one!”  Is it any wonder the universe is expanding so fast!  He longs to share his magnificent beauty with us, and it is his joy to create it.  

The speaker on the DVD, used the pictures from space to show us some of the wonders of God.  Along with the stars, he showed us galaxies and beautiful whirlpools of light.  Thirty-one million light years away is the Whirlpool Galaxy. Within the center is a black hole that is in the shape of a cross.  At the end of our known universe…a cross…isn’t that just like God?  He is crying out, “I am here!”

On the second DVD, he talked about the miracle of the human body.  The complexity and the intricate design are unbelievable.  We are each walking, talking, and breathing miracles. Within the miraculous design or our bodies, there is a cell adhesion molecule that is present in the very first cell that forms when are conceived.  It is called Laminin. You guessed it; the formation of this molecule that holds our cells together, is in the shape of a cross.  At the beginning of life…a cross…God is truly amazing.  He whispers, “I am here too, inside of you, holding you together.” 

Revelation 1:8- “I am the Alpha and Omega”, says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the ALMIGHTY.”  Did you think that the Alpha, Omega thing was just a figure of speech?  I did too…until now.  Once again, all of creation declares his glory…because the Almighty Star Breather made it so!

There are two men that I know who cling to God in every circumstance.  Life has been difficult for both of them.  I have been thinking of them lately. The shift in my life because of cancer was dramatic.  Thinking of life and death issues forces you to a place of sober reflection.  It is a hard place to be.  My friends both know that.  Each of them has been suffering from a deadly disease for years.  I cannot comprehend that really.  My illness was a nuisance for several months…really about a year.  To live with pain and the promise of death hanging over you cannot be easy in any way.  Ongoing hardship is the fire in which character is built.  How can anyone stay in that kind of fire for so long?  Like Job’s friends, I think that it would be easy to curse God and die rather than to continually battle for each breath.  Yet like Job, these men believe the words, “though he slay me, yet I will trust him.” 

My friend Brian has a heart condition.  I do not know the specific details other than that he should have been dead years ago.  He has been “resurrected” too many times to count.  He can tell you what it feels like to be in the presence of Jesus, because he has been there.  His attitude could have been bitter to have been dealt this ailment at such an early age.  He chose the positive instead.  Not knowing the future causes us stress, but to not know if you will be alive tomorrow?  That is a completely new level of trusting God for each breath.  Brian has lived with that question each day, for years.  Until recently, he was not a candidate for a heart transplant…but technology caught up with him.  Yesterday he had a heart transplant.  Today I heard that it is beating on its own.  What a miracle that is!  Imagine being shut up in your house for years, and suddenly being able to live a normal life.  What a gift that will be!  My prayers are with him and his wife as they embark upon this new journey of health.

My other friend has ALS…a terrible degenerative disease takes over your body slowly.  Frank is in a wheelchair now, with a breathing machine. (By the way Frank, you kind of look like a jet pilot! 🙂  He has to have help to do most everything.  He could choose to rage at God, but instead he worships him.  A worship leader that lost his ability to play but still he leads worship…with his life.  He creates worship CD’s with Christian music he picks custom for those of us that are in need.  I listened to these CD’s during my chemo.  He knows just the right songs for tough times.  Even with his limited ability, he has found a way to create worship. 

These two men are amazing.  They have chosen to live fully despite the suffering.  Depending on God to carry them is the source of their strength.  They cannot be stopped from reaching out to others in need.  It is the mark of Christ that is indelibly stamped in their hearts.  When I complain about work, I need only to think of my friends.  God smiles when he sees their lives, because they remind the rest of us what is important. They point us to him. You guys are a blessing!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend.  I haven’t even turned on my computer this weekend…it was a nice break. 

On Labor Day each year, our church has a kind of festival in the park.  Cars of all makes and models fill the parking lot for the annual car show.  There are inflatable games and slides, a climbing wall, and a multitude of vendors selling food for their organizations.  Bands perform, along with a choir made up of members of area churches and the pastor gives a short message just before the fireworks show.  It is a wonderful way to spend the holiday.  Each year more and more people from the community attend.  This year was no exception.  The crowd grew more as each hour passed. 

In the midst of the crowd I saw a beautiful thing, unexpected in such a mass of people.  An older couple from our church in their mid to late 80’s, was strolling across the parking lot hand in hand.  I do not exactly know why that sight so caught my eye, but it did.  I watched them, holding hands like two teenagers in love.  They were in no hurry.  The companionship and comfortableness of the relationship was evident for all who happened to notice them.  They talked to one another as if they were the only two people around.  The smiles reached to their eyes with a twinkle, which showed that even after spending a lifetime together, they were deeply in love. It was obvious that they had a deep and intimate knowing of each other...joined by their love for the Lord.  It was refreshing to see.  It lifted my spirit to see such love shining forth. Contentment radiated. 

I happen to know this couple.  I know some of their life story and a few of the hardships they have faced.  It is a testimony of the power of love.  Each year, since I was the preschool director at our church, the woman has taken my hands in hers, looked me in the eyes and sung the birthday song to me. The ever-present twinkle in her eye sparks to life as she sings.  She just radiates the love of God.  Her positive attitude is catching and she spreads joy wherever she goes.  To watch her husband hold her hand with tender affection well into their eighties was such a blessing to me.  It was a beautiful picture of a lifetime romance that touched my heart.   

As anticpated, my test today came out well. IV was in in one stick...that never happens.  My colon is clean as a whistle...literally.  No polips, no blockages...he will see me again when I am 50.  Good news twice in one week...I am getting spoiled!  This was my last test for a while as far as I know.  My next visit to the oncologist is not until November. 

At the hosptial today I was remembering all the medical stuff of the past year.  I hated the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach going in.  It was very familiar, I was glad to have forgotten it and didn't like the rememberance at all.  It did however make me think of all the people still walking through those doors each day.  The ones still having chemo or surgery or tests because of some illness attacking their bodies.  I said a prayer for them as I laid on that bed today.  My proceedure was short.  I was groggy for a couple of hours.  I feel fine now.  I am so grateful for my health.  I am blessed beyond belief to have caught my cancer early.  God is so good to me!! 

More medical fun today. A urologist this time since my oncologist is at a loss.  I had a cysto....something or another.  It is a camera that goes into your bladder to look at the inside.  I know you think that sounds like lots of fun!  It really was not that bad, of course after what I have been through this year you have to put that in perspective.  Truly it was a short 3 minute test to try to find the source of my UTI's.  As helpful as it would seem, they found nothing.  That is good but makes me wonder what is going on.  Actually the doctor said that the inside of my bladder looks amazingly healthy.  No irritation, no infection, no foreign objects(I was glad to hear this), no blockages, no stones, no polips...big relief there, I didn't even realize I was holding my breath on that one...all healthy tissue.  His best guess to the cause is that my immune system has not fully recovered and that my weak area is the UT.  With diabetes, and a hysterectomy and chemo...all of those things contribute to a healthy (or unhealthy) UT.  He thinks that time will heal me up as my immune system continues to get stronger.  In the mean time he wants me on a low dose of antibiotics to keep bacteria at bay until I am strong enough, my hormones are balanced enough and my sugar is in control enough for my body to fight for itself.  He has prescribed a 12 week treatment for my body to settle itself down.  After that he doesn't think I will have any more problems.  I hope he is right.  It has been longer this time between infections.  I think this is the longest I have gone in over a year...3 weeks without a problem.  And I can go to the bathroom by myself...an added bonus!  The sling seems to be taking and working better and better everyday.  I have hope that things are eventually going to get back to normal. 

Of course Friday is my colonoscopy...think of it this way, at least I will know what all of my insides look like!  All of this is aggressive health care.  Not taking anything for granted and not putting things off.  If I need baseline I want to get it now, even if it is yucky to do so.  This is taking care of my body so that it will take care of me.  Friday is the last of the tests to make sure all is well.  No one expects any problem because everything has been looking so good.  I have no symptoms...my doctor is just cautious.  I like that in a doctor.

I have to say that this day...this birthday of mine, is a welcome day.  I didn't know if I would make this one.  At one point I was not sure, of course soon after I found that I had stage one and that treatment would probably have good results.  But the idea that I am celebrating this day with good health is still amazing to me.  I am so grateful to be living and breathing.  I am privilaged to be able to work and to walk and to breathe.  Everytime I go to Curves I remind myself of how great it is to be ABLE to go.  When I do not want to go, I tell myself that I get to go...and remember what it was like not to get to.  I am so blessed.  My children are frustrated with me because I cannot think of one thing I need.  They asked for what to buy me and I couldn't come up with one thing.  I just want to be with them and enjoy being together.  They got me some CD's, a book and a gift certificate for clothes...and sweet cards that made me cry. It does not matter the number of years I have been here today.  I am not old...I am alive.  I am sooooo blessed!!!!

 This is a message God spoke to my heart last week when I was pretty down about my job...he put it all back into perspective.  Obviously I did not put the names of the children in only their intials. 

My daughter,
I want you to know that nothing I do is wasted, therefore nothing you do is
wasted either.  I am a craftsman.  I send you the children that I wish for
you to have.  There is not one that I did not send to you, but I did not send
them to learn to read.  Oh you can teach them that, and it will be useful to them
here in this life.  But I sent them instead because I knew you would plant
the seeds of my love…I will harvest those in the future. Sweet daughter…I sent
them so you could teach them that they are valuable and have worth.  K. needs
to know she is beautiful.  D. needs to learn that his enthusiasm, when
tempered, is a gift from me.  Each one needs something different and I put
them there because you can give it to them. 

Did you not see the fire in S.'s eyes yesterday?…you put it there.  Do you not remember the blank and confused
stares she used to give?  Precious one…You had a part in that change in her spirit…she
got what she needs last year and now she can move on to what I have next for her.  Not one
minute wasted. I fashion masterpieces.  That takes time.  A masterpiece takes years and
years to create.  Do not allow the enemy to steal your worth to me, daughter…in the
place that I have placed you.  You do not see the fullness of the fruit of what
you do…but it will matter in eternity.  You are building a masterpiece with
me in each child. And I am building one in you as well.  Ah…do you not think that you need
these children as much as they need you?  I have orchestrated the whole thing.  You
are a student in that classroom as well…my student that learns of me, and my
ways.  Just remember my Masterpieces are not built in  a short time…but over an eternity..
Sincerely,
Your Loving Father,
Your diligent master,
Your saving Lord,
Your master craftsman
Your masterpiece designer,
GOD