When we were gathered around Michael’s bed to before the chaplain prayed, Liane, Michael’s oldest daughter, played Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones for him. The atmosphere changed and it felt as if he was “hearing it” with us. It was powerful. Here Liane has written a guest blog about why she chose that specific song. She asked me to share it with you.

“Wild Horses”, the 1971 Rolling Stones song, has always been special to Dad and I. The song was originally written by Keith Richards, and I was told that it was about how hard it was to leave his newborn at home while he was away. We listened to a lot of classic rock together, and whenever Wild Horses came on the radio Dad would tell me that he used to rock me to sleep listening to it when I was a baby.

Dad loved me so much, something I have never doubted, and he had a very sentimental side. I remember him crying in his recliner when the eldest daughter in Seventh Heaven went to college, and he would cry without fail when we watched Father of the Bride. He even cried during episodes of Dawson’s Creek. And as I got older, he started tearing up more and more when Wild Horses came on.

When I graduated from high school, Dad was so proud and very emotional. In the photos from that day you can really see the love he had for me (and the tears in his eyes) in every shot. My favorite graduation gift was a leather box full of CDs that he had burned for me — a really long mixtape of my eighteen years on earth, with a letter that went over the meaning behind each song for him and for us. There were five full CDs with handwritten jackets, and many, many neatly typed pages with the meaning behind it all. Wild Horses was the very first song on the first disc.

I listened to the CDs in my car for drives back and forth from Woodstock to FSU, and Tom Petty, The Rolling Stones, Steve Earle, and John Mellencamp were on permanent rotation because of Dad’s collection. Eventually, someone told me that Wild Horses was actually a song about losing someone to addiction.

During Dad’s struggles later in life, I tried my best to help him as we all did. He moved to my neighborhood in Atlanta for a few years and my boyfriend Ben (now husband) and I would bring bags of groceries and grill out on his back porch, always to a classic rock soundtrack. When Wild Horses came on, Dad would say, “Remember this song?” We went to art museums, walked the new Beltline, and had a memorable dinner in a gallery where a musician played all of the ingredients of our meal. I treasure all of the time I was able to spend with him then.

Eventually Dad pulled away and slipped back into the yo-yo-ing of his powerful addiction, which swung more and more wildly from sobriety to spiraling through the next decade. Dad loved my husband, and I am so grateful that he made it to my wedding and walked me down the aisle. He told me later that he walked to the venue before the ceremony and cried like a baby. Through it all I would catch more glimpses of the sentimental father I loved so much — he would leave long birthday voicemails, send texts about how proud he was of all of his kids, and send all of us photos of sunsets.

The space between his messages grew but they kept coming. His attendance at family events dwindled, which hurt more than I could put into words. I finally Googled Wild Horses during this time, and it turns out it is about missing a child (Keith Richards’ original lyrics) and losing someone you love to an addiction (Mick Jagger’s later contribution to the track). The lyrics fit us both as he was overcome by loneliness and as I grieved the man I knew.

After I got the call from David that we had all been dreading, the first thing I did was put on this song. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to say goodbye when he was hospitalized, even if he could not respond. After I spoke to him, I asked Kara to play Wild Horses in the hospital room for me while I listened on the phone. The lyrics have never held more meaning. One of the first songs that he played for me would be the last song he would hear. He passed away less than half an hour after our final prayer. A well of hope that I didn’t even know was still there collapsed into grief.

The last few days have been a roller coaster, but even as my heart breaks all over again with every shared story, photo, and message of condolence for Dad, this song has been a comfort. If love could cure addiction, he never would have been there.

Wild Horses Lyrics

Verse 1

Childhood living is easy to do

The things you wanted I bought them for you

Graceless lady, you know who I am

You know I can’t let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Wild wild horses couldn’t drag me away.

Verse 2

I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain

Now you decided to show me the same

No sweeping exits or offstage lines

Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Wild wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Verse 3

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie

I have my freedom, but I don’t have much time

Faith has been broken, tears must be cried

Let’s do some living after we die.

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Wild, wild horses, we’ll ride them some day

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Wild, wild horses, we’ll ride them some day.