I’ve been contemplating this idea of allowing the word of God to read me, instead of the other way around. When I read scripture, I overlay it with my own thoughts and intentions. My own interpretations are based in part on my life experiences and also on what God has taught me as I have tried to live my faith. My belief is that if I read it “properly” then my views align with God’s heart. The issue with this way of reading is that it is subjective. My perception of what a passage means or does not mean is based on my own experiences as well as my knowledge of the context and what I believe God intended to say. This is not a problem until my understanding becomes immovable based on my own beliefs. When I refuse to allow God to move my heart with his compassionate care for me, then the hardness of heart begins.

However, when I instead, allow the Word of God to read me, everything I know is flipped on its head. The scripture becomes the standard and my inability to meet the standard humbles me. It requires me to admit that I do not know; I do not understand; I do not comprehend the enormity of God…at all. It requires that I be vulnerable and honest with myself and God himself. (As if he didn’t already know the truth about me!) In this place, my pride in what I know or do not know has to be set aside. My judgement of others has to cease as I see my own darkened heart clearly.

Hebrews 4: 12 – For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all of creation is hidden in God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give an account.  

This passage alone is enough for me to chew on for a week when I allow it to read my heart. Do I allow God’s word to divide my what my soul desires from what my spirit knows? Am I acting out of flesh or spirit? Do I hold my thoughts and attitudes up to the scrutiny of scripture? Am I ready to give an account for my words and actions to the one whom everything is laid bare? Do my actions line up with his words? Have I even checked to see? What do his words say, anyway?

God took me to this passage to let it read me. Here are some excerpts that cut me to my core.

James 3 – We all stumble in many ways. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large, are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider that a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. No human being can tame the tongue. It is full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. This should not be. Can fresh water and salt water come from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives? Can a vine bear a fig? Both salt and fresh water cannot come from the same spring. For where you have selfish ambition and envy, there you will find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

I desire to reap a harvest of righteousness and peace, but I fear my tongue is sewing otherwise. This passage holds a mirror to my heart and allows me to see it clearly. I do not practice what I preach. Conviction is a gift of the spirit. First, I must see my guilt; the words that do not line up. Then, this scripture requires me to surrender my tongue. I don’t even know how to do that…only that it is required. Flesh and spirit, joints and marrow…indeed.