When I had my first baby, my heart grew three sizes. I had no idea before that moment that the heart was expandable. I had never felt this kind of love before. It was big and all consuming. It resulted in joy overflowing and even on hard days it didn’t diminish. So much so, that when I was expecting our second baby, I didn’t believe it would be possible to love it as much as the first. I thought I would have to pretend.

Then when he was born, my heart grew three more sizes! It expanded again. Was it possible for one heart to contain that much love? To my surprise, it was. Each baby that came, expanded my love until I thought I would explode. On the hectic days with four kids under the age of 6, my foundation of great love was solid. It is how I made it through those crazy times. In fact, it may be that love that saved my kids on the exhausting days. Without it, I am not sure any of us would have survived! Ha!

It is impossible to describe this thing that happens when you become a mother. Unlike any other love you will ever experience. Sacrificial, yes, but oh so joyful. I wish the English language had more than one word for love like other languages do. I have heard the Greek agape and maybe that is the closest for this unconditional feeling that explodes inside of me regarding my children.

However, now I need another word. Saturday was Shepherd’s first birthday. I had been told by all my grandparent friends that being a grandparent was amazing and that grandkids were a treasure. That is an understatement. When he was born, my heart grew again. At least three more sizes, maybe more. I was smitten from the first time I saw him. My baby’s baby. I was not prepared for the depth of love I felt for this little one. Once more my heart expanded beyond what I thought was possible.

I have the blessing of being able to babysit Shepherd on Thursdays. Every week, my heart grows further. I just cannot understand how God created this much capacity for love in my small human heart. It is transformational and it lights up my days. Each time I babysit, it blows my mind. I cannot stop smiling. It’s no wonder every grandparent feels that their grandchild is the most beautiful of them all.

Those babies are heart lifters. Hope bringers. Silly faces. Giggle boxes. Big love in small packages. And I already know it gets better as they grow. We are only one year in and there are days I think my heart just can’t take anymore love…and then it does! This kid turned a year old and he has grown so quickly. I forgot how fast it goes. But he has brought so much joy already, I know he will continue to do so as he grows. But for the moment, I will bask in the now…because that is a Nonna’s job, to be present and to love that little face, cheeks, smile and all. Happy Birthday Shep!