To make a firm decision to do something. That’s the meaning most commonly used this time of year. But resolution has many meanings that do not involve losing weight, getting in shape, cleaning the house, or resisting whatever temptation is your nemesis. Over my lifetime, I’ve made many firm decisions to do things which never got accomplished. So much so, that I don’t make New Year’s resolutions any longer. The fear of NOT doing what I resolved to do, and the resulting sense of failure which washes over me for the remainder of the year, are the reasons I made a resolution to not make any more resolutions. Ha!

You would think, being a list maker and a planner, New Year’s resolutions would be my jam. I admit, I love the feeling of a fresh start the new year brings, but the checklist of impossible tasks steals that feeling. It’s a mind game. One, that for me, isn’t healthy because my mind obsesses on whatever task I failed to do and cannot let it go, no matter how many other resolutions did get completed.  

The semantics of the word resolution creates this dissonance. I decided to look at the actual definitions in the dictionary. The root of the word is to solve, or to loosen and release the problem. That sounds better; the act or condition of loosening and releasing a problem. However, if I am unable to do so, then I interpret it to mean the problem is me. It’s tricky. See what I mean?

Resolution actually has six definitions and several of those have two or three underneath them. If you play with words like I do, it’s kind of interesting. I won’t bore you with all of them. Here’s the one that jumped out today: a measure of the sharpness of an image; the process of making distinguishable the individual parts of an image by sources of light.

I know this definition is regarding pixels and digital images. But, what if I transfer that definition to the New Year’s resolutions I refuse to make? What if, rather than make a resolution of something to do, I look for the sharpness of the image for the upcoming year? If the picture is blurry of what I see in my future, I certainly won’t accomplish it. What if, I clarify the image of what I would like to see? Not in checklist form, but more like a picture in my mind or a sketch in my journal. It seems to take some pressure off when there isn’t an actual list of expectations hanging over my head. Just a question, did the image become clearer today? If so, hurray. If not, no biggie, there’s always tomorrow.

I know, and you do too, that life rarely gives us smooth sailing or time for self-improvements. The day to day survival mode is a more common condition for us all. Who says we have to perform in addition to getting through our daily lives? Isn’t getting through the day, one moment at a time, enough? I think it should be. When I am honest, it isn’t other people who humiliate me for not accomplishing a list for the year. It is me. Myself. I am the one who forgets to give grace to me. I am the one who allows the shame to build up.

So, this year, I am going to SEE giving myself grace in my picture. I am going to SEE myself doing the best I can to improve myself while still living life. I am going to SEE myself letting go of expectations I put on myself. And maybe, just maybe, when the expectations fall away some weight will too!

Happy New Year! May 2024 be a year of peace no matter what life brings.