My candle was broken. When I selected it from the box at the church door it was intact. I didn’t intend to break it. I stood to worship on Christmas Eve. Singing all my favorites of the season. A much-needed heart lift. Of course, all my favorites are also Mom’s favorites, so my vision got a little blurry. And, most of the songs are about a baby and shepherds, so I looked past all of my sons lined up in a row next to me, to my grandson, Shepherd, sleeping in heavenly sleep. My vision got a little blurrier. My sad full heart was mixed up and grateful. I sat and took it all in; paying close attention and allowing my feelings to feel. That is important these days.

The grief of losing Mom slowly, the sorrow of the world events. The pain of a divided dysfunctional world. A war-torn, battle-weary, disrupted, devastated world. So much mourning. Broken families, broken promises, broken bodies, broken hearts, and broken lives. Everything is broken, not just my candle.

As I stand, finding my crushed candle underneath me and I see that, though it is in pieces, the thread is still holding it together. A thread which runs through the broken bits of wax. A reminder that even in the brokenness, there is a thread of hope. O Holy Night, rings out. My daughter-in-love, a vessel of beauty, singing my favorite of all.

Long lay the world in sin and error, pining, till he appears and the soul felt its worth, a thrill of hope the weary world rejoices for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees.

Then, Silent night. Holy night. The time of light arrives for me and my little broken candle. Light of hope. Light in darkness. Heavy hearts and broken lives, held together by a thread, are lit from the flame of the Christ candle. His light holds all things together. The broken world. My broken heart. Nothing is too big or too small for the light of life. I hold my crooked, broken light up and it joins with all the others to interrupt the darkness. Many flames, one light. Many pieces, one flame. Holding it all together. Despite what my eyes see, or my heart feels…

All is calm, all is bright.