You would think after looking over my book manuscript 1,000 times I would catch the fact that February 21 and 22 were missing. You would think. Yet, somehow, I missed it and didn’t discover it until yesterday…but I think I know why.
One year ago, I was on my way to India, which means I was in the air for a couple of days. I always take my computer everywhere I go, especially last year, since I had committed to write something for my book every day. However, travel days are grueling and even though you would think being on a plane for that many hours I would write as a way to entertain myself, I have found that for me, planes are not conducive to creative thought. So, February 21 and 22 were left unwritten.
I went back yesterday to read the entries I had written last year. I wanted to remember the trip and what happened to inspire the words I had chosen for each day. For example, February 23rd. One of the moms on the trip was detained at the airport because her visa wasn’t filled out properly. She hadn’t traveled internationally before, didn’t speak the language, and was generally a fish out of water. The authorities were planning to deport her back to the U.S. and wouldn’t allow her out of the airport. As the leader of the trip, I was frantically trying to get in touch with her, but my next flight was leaving for the final destination where I was to meet over 50 parents to escort them to our host. Even if I could have stayed back, the authorities wouldn’t let me in to see her or her out to see me. It was a dilemma I had never faced before and it was certainly a circumstance she had not experienced. In the end, it worked out because our host happened to have a friend high up in the government, who happened to be flying into the same airport in a couple of hours, and he happened to know the man in authority and they happened to be able to get her a rushed visa. I don’t believe in coincidences; I believe in rescues. If you read my entry on February 23rd you can see what I mean.
The story behind February 26th is that there were some World Racers whose parents were unable to attend the trip. This is usually true for several reasons. Some cannot get off work, or do not have the funds, or don’t like to fly, etc. Sometimes, though it is due to strained interactions or lack of support for the decisions their child is making, or estranged relationships. These Racers often times jokingly refer to themselves as orphans. Even though it is said in jest, I always feel the need to remind them that they are NOT orphans, but sons and daughters of God. That is February 26th.
On February 27th, our ministry took us into the countryside with a medical team to help villagers. The divine appointments were astounding. Our team had exactly the right people on it to help, and had it been any other people the day would not have gone as smoothly. It was orchestrated in a way that can only be supernatural. And so, it goes. Each day with its own story which inspired the entry for my book. It was when I was re-reading this week’s pages that I discovered the missing entries. I went back and checked my manuscript and it skipped two days.
To those of you who just bought my book yesterday, my apologies that the first two days you have it are missing! Of course, this would happen on the day of my book signing. Ah, well, there is nothing wrong with a little humbling. The next two days on my blog will fill in the missing entries, and I am quickly working to revise this on subsequent copies of my book that are ordered. If you already have a copy…you can print these two days out to put into your book. Again, I apologize for my newbie mistake!
Here’s the back story for Feb 21…we arrived in the middle of the night. We had arranged to stay at a hotel within the airport. We were late getting in, we struggled to find the hotel. When we did they said we could not stay there because we were flying out of a different airport in the morning, only those flying out of this airport were allowed to stay there. I was unaware our flight was not out of this airport. So that came as a shock, and after two days and several airports, layovers etc… the last thing you need to hear at 2:00 in the morning when you are jet lagged is that your plans are not what you thought. It was a melt-down moment for me, so if I had written an entry at that time it would have been this one.
And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a quiet place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going and they had no leisure even to eat. ~Mark 6:31
Weary One, take a breath. Another one. Another one. Breathe in my calm. Breathe out your worry. Let the tears flow. Let them roll. I am not afraid of your tears or your emotion. They are an outlet for the feelings which are building inside of you. I created you to experience life in full. Without these emotions, your life would be flat. Robotic. You are designed to be immersed in the sights, sounds, and smells around you. These experiences paint a vivid picture. They saturate you and yes, sometimes overwhelm you.
It is okay to be overwhelmed, Dear One. Do not fault yourself when you cannot take in one more stimulus. It is my design that your tears flow when you are most tired. It is an indicator that you need rest. Like a check engine light for your soul. Stop. Take a moment. Sit with me. Assess the situation. Give it some attention. Is your tank empty? Are you overheated? Is your fluid level low? Do a check of your gauges. What are they telling you?
Beloved, there are so many times you just push right through difficult circumstances in your life. You feel that everyone is depending on you, so you cannot stop and take stock of your condition, but I tell you, the world will not fall apart if you take a moment to rest. Gathering yourself is not a weakness. Finding a time and a place to rest will actually strengthen you to carry your load.
Just like if you ignore the check engine light in your vehicle it will break down, it is the same with your physical being. I have given you warning signals. Do not ignore them, or you will find yourself in need of extended service. Those tears that rise up to the surface and overflow are signals. That physical feeling of being drained and unable to function is a signal. You are running on fumes. You are in danger of a breakdown.
I long for you to rest. To sit with me and let me minister to your soul. Yes, I minister to you. It is my way, if you let me. To sleep. To pull back as much as you can. To unburden your heart to me and to take my breath within you. I hear all your excuses of why you cannot take the time. Those excuses will not serve you well, My Love. They will prolong the pain and increase the intensity of your breakdown. Melt downs are part of the warning system that is built into you to prevent a total breakdown. Take a moment. Do not delay. Stop what you are doing. It is an emergency. Check your gauges. Rest. Refill your tank. Breathe. Sit with me.