Dear 2019

clock at midnight

Dear 2019,

You are the last year of a decade, which means you are special. I am even more reflective because of your “end of the decade” status.  You certainly had some twists and turns.  Some ups and downs.  You were like a flurry of hope at the beginning.  Aren’t all new years?  My list included writing a book, reading the classics, making my bed, and getting healthy…again. I made some headway, but never as much as planned on day one.

I thought I was ready for you as 2018 was a horrific year, but I learned things can always get worse.  However, in my reflecting on the years in this decade I realize every year has its own good and bad moments.  It is likely that 2020 will bring some sadness and heartache, because every year seems to have its fair share. The trick is to not miss the good moments in the midst of the heavy ones.

You brought me some good ones this year, 2019.  I am grateful for those, so thank you.  I have been honored to help kids and teachers all over the world.  I have walked beside parents of missionaries as they got to see what their kids are doing at the ends of the Earth.  I have spent time with my own children, who are now adults, and I love them all the more at this stage.  I have added another dog to the mix and Peanut has been a sweet spot on the hard days.

The decline of our parents isn’t really your fault 2019.  It is so easy to blame you, saying you brought even more heartache than your predecessor 2018. It’s not really true though.  Walking our elderly to heaven’s door is the season we are in.  We did it with Betty in 2018, and we are doing it again with Mom and Ray in 2019.  It doesn’t matter what year we are in, we will still be doing the same things.  I will say thank you, for giving me more time with Mom and Dad.  The long goodbye is hard in so many ways, but it is allowing me time to prepare my heart.  It is bringing us together as a family.  It is bittersweet in every way.

As for my list, don’t you worry 2019, there is always next year!  I will always have a list I am working on.  The hope of the beginning will carry me through a few months and eventually something will be completed and I will celebrate.  Who knows maybe it will be 2020 (the year of vision) that will inspire me to complete what I have started so many times.  But, 2019, you had your place in my life.  The end of a decade.  A decade more of life for me…every year is a gift.  It has been a wild ride and I wouldn’t change much of it.

My prayer is our world is becoming a better place, because I am in it.  It is my view of how to live my life…make circumstances, relationships, and people better by being with them. I know they make me better.  Thank you 2019, may you rest in peace.



P.S.  Dear 2020, I am welcoming you with open arms and an open mind.  I know you will not be all sunshine and roses.  I think you will be brining me quite a few tears, but I am willing to go with you because it is your year.  My list is intact and I will continue to chip away at it, but most of all I am determined to be present in each moment this year and to live fully…because that is ALWAYS at the top of my list.

2 thoughts on “Dear 2019

  1. Dear Michelle,
    I loved your presentation of this goodbye to the old year. Thank you for sharing the pain, sorrow and expectations of your heart. May 2020 be a year where God uses you to bring more light and hope to those around you and as you reach out with love and appreciation, may he shower the same measure within and upon you.

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