So yesterday I was feeling good…then I went to the doctor and found out my infection is still in full swing. I feel better but the sores are still needing to drain more. I knew they weren’t well totally but I figured they were so much better that it wouldn’t be much of an issue. Wrong! My chemo has been canceled because of it! I now have a new doctor…and infectious disease specialist! After some discussion (and tears) about IV antibiotics they gave me two new oral antibiotics. They have the same side effects as the ones last week. YUCK! So far they are not as bad but still…it is hard when I have to keep my blood sugar balanced and I can only eat three bites before I feel like throwing up.
Let me honest…have I ever not been with you??…I am asking God Why? Is it not enough to go through all I have been through? Surgery, cancer, chemo, incision opening, IV troubles…now infection too? My schedule is off and will be the rest of the time. I have to wait on chemo until this is completely gone, how ever long that takes. They hope only one week…but that all depends. I don’t get it, and at this point I don’t even want to understand…I just want it all to be over. I don’t ultimately think the why is important but right now it is up front. I will let you know what God says if he answers this question for me! 🙂
Michelle's Mosaic 
So the road continues to be bumpy and disheartening. You are sick, and you feel sick and the food makes you feel sicker, and the antibiotics are gross. Your journey lengthens, and the ending point has been pushed back to a place you can’t see, and you want to know why? I hear in the stillness, TRUST ME. Just keep your eyes on me, and TRUST ME, maybe you don’t get dressed and you sleep in, and you only can look out the windows at the pretty fall weather, and you sit stuck in your chair, and I still hear TRUST ME..
The seasons are changing, and you are in a season all your own… the winds pick up, the leaves dry up and fall and a sense of bareness will cover the moutains…but it’s just a siilent, sleeping time, where all the growth is UNDER GROUND… We have over 40 yrs of knowing, a spring WILL COME, there is an assurance to look towards, A spring will come, a time of new beginnings will come, and they will come and be refreshing before the scorching begins… The cool to cold to quietness of winter is soon to be upon us all. We will be driven inside, and there will be a certain type rest for us…and then without a doubt AND NOT A MINUTE OFF, NOT A MINUTE TOO LATE, spring will appear and new beginnings will be upon us.
As pushed back into a place you can’t calculate, relax…YOU know in God, IT’S BY REVELATION, NOT CALCULATIONS, anyways….
All my life and belief in your sping time, all my belief that it is assured…
Jess
Thank you for your support friend. I needed that. It has been a rough couple of weeks…as much emotionally as physically. It is good to have the reminder of assurance.