Me among the daffodils as a child. When grieving, I know to brace myself for the “firsts” …first holiday season, first Mother’s Day, first Father’s Day, etc… This Friday will be Mom’s birthday. She would have been 86. My photo memories have already sent me last year’s pictures of her birthday celebration. My heart was … Continue reading Bracing Myself
loss
Hole in My Soul
I lost my voice. No talking for several days, shouting to create a whisper. Just as well. I haven’t had much to say lately. No words, at least. Lots of feelings. None that I can really describe. Turns out, a week or so of silence is just what I needed. There is no pressure to … Continue reading Hole in My Soul
Dad’s Eulogy
Sunday we laid Dad to rest right next to Mom. It was a cold, but sunny day. The service was beautiful and Dad would have been pleased to see his friends and family in attendance. We know because of the cold weather and the holidays, many who would have liked to attend could not. Therefore, … Continue reading Dad’s Eulogy
Fear and Anxiety
I have a very physical reaction to fear and anxiety. I’m not sure this was always true, but life has brought me a significant number of traumatic events and therefore, when I am nervous for any reason, my heart rate climbs, my hands sweat, and my breathing gets shallow. My stomach does flips with butterflies … Continue reading Fear and Anxiety
Surrender
I had never seen Dad afraid of anything…until Mom got sick. I saw him set his chin with trembling lips. I saw him stand and smile with tearful eyes. I saw him shore himself up with heavy shoulders. Watching him anticipate each new loss was like watching him lose part of himself. Every time Mom … Continue reading Surrender
Tossing and Turning
I can’t sleep. Tossing and turning, turns to wandering thoughts, turns to climbing out of bed and into my writing chair. The little girl inside of me speaks up. She reminds me that when she couldn’t sleep, Dad would let her climb onto his lap in his chair. It was a Lazy Boy that creaked … Continue reading Tossing and Turning
Turtle vs. Jack Rabbit
If Mom and Dad were going to pass according to their personalities, they certainly did it. Mom with her slow pace, attention to detail, relationships that needed time, and her deep faith, which carried her. Dad with his 100-mile-an-hour personality, just-do-it-get-it-over-with style, bulldog determination, and his fierce independence. It really couldn’t be any more Mike … Continue reading Turtle vs. Jack Rabbit
Guest Blog by Peter
I have offered by blog to my family to tell their own stories if they would like. Today is the next guest blog by my son, Peter Gunnin. You could see the dust swirl, through the first ray of sun that started to peek through the curtains. I never could sleep in, even as a … Continue reading Guest Blog by Peter
Guest Blog by David
I have offered by blog to my family to tell their own stories if they would like. Today is the next guest blog by my nephew, David Hunter. A variety of feelings come with death: guilt, sadness, vulnerability, uncertainty, and relief when the loved one is suffering. You never are sure which one will stem … Continue reading Guest Blog by David
Update
It’s no secret Mom and Dad had quite a remarkable love story. It was in no way perfect, but their dedication, commitment and love for each other was unmatched. Since Mom passed, the number one question I get asked is, “How is your Dad?” That is understandable, since their story was well known and since … Continue reading Update
Michelle's Mosaic 