I have a very physical reaction to fear and anxiety. I’m not sure this was always true, but life has brought me a significant number of traumatic events and therefore, when I am nervous for any reason, my heart rate climbs, my hands sweat, and my breathing gets shallow. My stomach does flips with butterflies … Continue reading Fear and Anxiety
end of life
Surrender
I had never seen Dad afraid of anything…until Mom got sick. I saw him set his chin with trembling lips. I saw him stand and smile with tearful eyes. I saw him shore himself up with heavy shoulders. Watching him anticipate each new loss was like watching him lose part of himself. Every time Mom … Continue reading Surrender
Turtle vs. Jack Rabbit
If Mom and Dad were going to pass according to their personalities, they certainly did it. Mom with her slow pace, attention to detail, relationships that needed time, and her deep faith, which carried her. Dad with his 100-mile-an-hour personality, just-do-it-get-it-over-with style, bulldog determination, and his fierce independence. It really couldn’t be any more Mike … Continue reading Turtle vs. Jack Rabbit
Guest Blog by Melinda
I have offered by blog to my family to tell their own stories if they would like. Today is the first guest blog by my sister, Melinda. Today was my first step back into my nurse practitioner role since Dad’s passing. It was hard. Much harder than I thought it would be. I have worked … Continue reading Guest Blog by Melinda
ICU Keeping Watch
This blog was started my first day here in Orlando. I have re-written it three times, with each rise and fall of the roller coaster. Please excuse the choppiness of the tenses. We knew you would want to know more…and this is my first attempt. I will be writing more as I process, but for … Continue reading ICU Keeping Watch
Closure
The word closure is often used to describe a feeling of peace at the end of something, usually a relationship of some sort. It implies acceptance and release of the person you love. It comes from the Latin for the word shut. Like shutting a door. After Mom’s service, I should have closure of her … Continue reading Closure
Surprised by Joy
The last few days I have been resting, processing, planning, and resting some more. The cumulative physical exhaustion of the past few years seems to have caught up to me. Yet, it is different than the heavy sleep/sleepless roller coaster of those years. During the dementia journey, it has felt like trying to sleep with … Continue reading Surprised by Joy
The Last Week
You know that even though I haven’t been posting, I have still been writing. After all, this blog is an e-journal of sorts. My diary, so others will know they are not alone in their feelings. This is what I have written in the last week of Mom’s life. It’s long. If you just want … Continue reading The Last Week
Letting Go
We are still in limbo over here. Mom is not bouncing back from her broken leg, which we knew was a long shot at best. The original goal was to try to get her back to her wheelchair. That will not be happening. In-between land is filled with heartbreaking decisions of various kinds. There are … Continue reading Letting Go
Redemption
I have had the privilege recently of doing life with several friends as they escorted their parents to heaven’s gate. It is the season of life our age group is in, and I can tell you from our own experience with Bill’s mom a few years ago, it is a tough phase. Watching those you … Continue reading Redemption
Michelle's Mosaic 