I think that Christmas is about gifts.  Wait and hear me out before you jump on the materialism bandwagon.  In our country, we may have become over exuberant in our holiday spending, but I do not believe gift giving is the problem.  I think we love to give because we are made in the image of the first gift-giver.  After all, gift giving was his idea.  He gave us the Earth and everything in it.  He must have thought all about what we would love to receive. 

Consider what it must be like for God to ‘shop.’  Everything imaginable at his fingertips waiting to be breathed into existence.  I am sure he could not wait to see the look on Adam’s face when he saw the gift of creation.  How surprised must the creation of clay have been to see an elephant or a baboon for the first time.  The delicate butterfly or the sloth…what was God thinking making an animal that is so slow on land but can swim super fast?  How does that work anyway?  Talk about an extravagant gift!  It’s like he could not decide what to get so he got it all.  Materialism?  I don’t think so.  I think he was enthusiastically ecstatic.  He desired to see his children blessed with abundance from his own hand the same as we do.  The shear joy on their faces and wonderment in their eyes is enough to sustain us for a whole year.  That is why we go overboard with our giving to try to capture that feeling of warmth. 

God’s kids did not appreciate his gifts fully.  They rejected him.  So he sent an even more amazing gift…his son.  This one was not as beautiful.  It was bloody.  The eyes did not recognize what a tremendous sacrifice the Father gave.  Only a few knew the love of the Son.  The grace was incomprehensible…it still is.  It is a matter of acceptance not understanding.  Faith not sight.

Then God created me and you.  He gave us gifts of our very own.  Mine is words.  Yours might be song or hospitality.  You may be a preacher or an artist.  Every one of us has some expression of Him within us.  He designed it that way because he is the gift giver.  It is who he is.  He cannot wait for us to open our gifts.  He longs to see joyous looks on our faces as we realize his heart for us. He longs for us to express our gift to glorify him…but instead we toss it away and play with the box.  We say it is not good enough, or that it is too plain, or not plain enough.  We find some reason not to use our gifts.  I never knew others would like to read my words.  I still find it hard to believe that someone might want to read a book if I wrote it.  Yet here I am at Christmas pondering gifts and God.  We are made in his image so we should be enthusiastically ecstatic to give the gifts he has given us.  The celebration of the ultimate gift from the ultimate gift giver is more than one day a year.  It is something he longs for daily.  Our faces should light up each time our gifts flow out to those around us…his does. He smiles as we become gift givers like him.   Merry Christmas!

As for my blood...the numbers are going up so we are waiting.  For now the transfusion has been delayed.  I thank you all for your prayers...keep it up!!!  What a gift you all are to me!!!

Okay all you prayer warriors...I got a call today from my doctor saying my red count was dangerously low.  What that means is that I might get blood for Christmas in the form of a transfusion...unless by divine intervention my count goes up by tomorrow.  I am having another CBC in the morning to see if it is going up or down.  At this point in my cycle it should be going up.  Thursday (the day I had my test) should have been my lowest day.  All counts should be going up from now until my next treatment.  The different type symptoms I have had this time are all signs of low red count. 
The biggest danger is congestive heart failure...sounds fairly serious...so if I need blood I will take it.  I am praying not to need it and would greatly appreciate it if you would too.  I think somewhere along the way I will have to write about  blood...it is an amazing life force.  It is quite significant that Jesus gave his for us.  More on that later...

I worked today...hard.  It was good.  I helped clean out a classroom I will be working in when I return to work in Jan.  I will sleep good tonight!  My symptoms seem better today.  I go to get a shot for red count tomorrow morning.  Then I get my blood work done after that.  This blood work should show my lowest numbers then next week they should all have gone up.  The difference and how far they come up determines if I can have my next treatment on schedule.  Please pray that I can.  William is doing well.  He went to see a movie with Bill and Aaron and his cousin Ben who is in town for Christmas.  I think he was tired when he got home but he is feeling fine.  Christmas is only 5 days away...are you ready?

Yesterday was William's sinus surgery.  It was a very long day.  We arrived one hour before at 11:30...then they told us they were an hour behind schedule.  After an hour and 1/2 they said 45 more minutes.  You guessed it...3 1/2 hours later they took him in.  He went through surgery very well.  I was proud of him because he is as chicken of medical things as I am and he did great!  He had some extra bleeding after so recovery took a little longer.  By the time we left, we were in Atlanta traffic (he had his surgery through Scottish Rite out patient center).  To make a long story short we got home around 9:00 pm!  Today he has been on the sofa playing video games...his favorite thing.  He is doing very well.  By the afternoon he was wanting to go outside and play.  Kids amaze me at how fast they bounce back.  He will have part two of the surgery Jan 5.

I haven't been feeling too well the past couple of days.  My pluse is ringing in my ears, my heart beats really fast at the least little activity, and I am tired.  My guess is that it is my red count dropping that is causing all of these new things.  Yesterday after they took William back for surgery, Bill asked them for a bed for me.  I got a pillow, and one of those warm blankets...the only good thing about surgery...a bed, and a quiet dark room.  It helped to rest and they were very kind to me but the day still took it's toll.  I slept in today and then took a nap.  I felt much better this morning but there are still some different type symptoms this time around.  I get my red count shot on Thursday and I think that will help once I get over the bone pain from the shot.  I do have some really good news...the papsmear they did last doctors visit came back good!!!  I cryed when I heard.  I guess I didn't realize how much that had been weighing on my mind.  What a relief!  Thanks for all of your continued prayers for me and my family.  Only one more chemo...if I can just get there...

This year has been a hard year on my family.  We have been through a lot.  Therefore, our Christmas celebration this year was bittersweet.  The loss of Memommie hit hard and her absence was obvious.  If nothing else, this year we have learned that life is short.  No matter if it ends this year or 50 years from now, I have a limited number of days. We all do. My grandmother had 90 years to make her mark.  This weekend we celebrated the lives of all of our grandparents.  Many of our gifts were old pictures, jewelry and coins from the past.  Each has its own story to tell. These stories weave through time to tie us to our heritage. 

You have heard the saying that ‘you can’t take it with you when you go’…that is true.  However, what you leave behind will remain as your legacy to those that follow after you. Your children and grandchildren will remember the actions and activities that fill your days.  They will tell stories about you…about the food you cook and the flowers you grow.  About your car and your dog.  They will look at old pictures and remember.  They will laugh and cry when you are gone.  They will look at your sentimental possessions as treasures and pass on the old tales of each lovingly to their children so that you will not be forgotten. 

Today, you are building your legacy whether you know it or not.  Everything you do tells them something about you.  It would be nice if we could pick the things, our children would remember about us…but we cannot.  The details are different in each of their minds. They may remember the harsh words of an argument while we think about a fun outing.  They may take joy in a small acknowledgement that we do not even remember. That kind of makes you think doesn’t it?

 Realizing that life is short, gives new perspective on today.  It makes each action count.  It causes us to think about the good and the bad of everyday life, and how it will be remembered.  It makes words extremely important…both said and unsaid, written and unwritten.  Our words are the building blocks of our heritage.  Memories are the mortar that holds the legacy together so it will stand over time.  Sentimental possessions are the proof of what is important to us now that will remind others of what is important in the future. 

Christmas is a season for reflecting about our lives, and our faith.  Sometimes we are carried away with hustle and bustle, but despite all of that, we know the day marks time each year.  We review the year and think about life…and how fast it is moving.  What is your legacy?

Today I felt much better this morning.  I was around here doing santa stuff for the weekend at mom's.  I decided I felt so good that it would be good to see a movie.  So tonight we went to see The Nativity Story...it was good but I am tired.  I just all of the sudden feel drained.  I really am trying not to over do it but it is hard because I don't realize how weak I am until it is too late.  This round has definately been an easier one...and if I can stay healthy I will be finished soon.  Pray my blood counts are all good for the next two weeks.  I am going to try to rest so I won't have a chance to get weak... in my weakness he is strong...I bet there is something to write about in that verse!

This time is not as bad as previous rounds...I hope.  At least today, I feel pretty good.  I am sore and feel yuck but not as yuck as other times...if that makes sense.  I am looking on the bright side.  My shot will make me hurt some but by the weekend I should be better.  Christmas at mom's house...I am looking forward to that.

Today has been okay so far.  I am starting to have some pain now that it is late in the afternoon.  I got alot done this morning around the house.  I will probably just rest around here the next couple of days before going to mom's on Saturday for family Christmas.  This is the yucky part...but only one more time after these next couple of days!

Chemo went well...only one more time!!!! The port was where it should be and that made things easier.  I slept most of the day...a little more than usual.  I seem to be more tired and not bouncing back as usual.  My blood sugar was sky high so that is part of it.  One insulin shot last night and today it is back down to more normal and I feel better.  The thing about all these medicines is they complicate everything.  You never know what is causing the way you feel because it could be so many things.  Today is Peter's offical birthday so I am going to take cupcakes to the school today.  Other than that I am resting and eating protein to keep all my counts as up as possible....Only one more time...did I mention that I am excited about that?????

It is chemo day.  Pray for me.  I am always scared.  I have taken my anxiety pill and have my numbing patch on.  I am ready but there is always the fear of something going wrong.  But the bright side is after today I will be 5/6 of the way through with only 1 more to go!