I love the fact that God uses word pictures to help us understand him better.  All throughout the Bible, he consistently shows himself by describing principles with visual images.  Recently, he used the image of wings and feathers to teach a group of students about his faithfulness.  The story begins when a group, on a mission trip to
Brazil , encountered obstacles while traveling.  Delayed flights, air traffic controller strikes, power outages, and fog had caused the question to be raised, “Are we really supposed to be doing this?” 

A youth pastor on the trip began to tell a story.  In an attempt to motivate he students back home in Alabama , he created a contest.  The youth ministry was in need of a name so the competition began.  Ultimately, the winner was a girl that came up with the name “The Wing.”  It was based on the scripture in Isaiah that says “You will mount up with wings as Eagles.  You will run and not grow weary.  You will walk and not faint.”  Shortly after the winner was announced, a praying mom in the group began to find feathers in unusual places.  Her first unexplained feather was in the youth building.  Then another floated to her one morning in her living room.  She felt the Lord direct her to Ps. 91.  “He will cover you with his feathers.” 

Soon students in the youth group also began to find feathers, under windshield wipers, or in their Bibles.  Considering she had not told them of her experiences this caught the attention of the youth pastor.  God spoke to the minister about his protection and faithfulness.  He then shared this story with our group of students while they were in Brazil .  Soon after, feathers began appearing....

More tomorrow... 🙂

I love the sun. There is no other feeling like soaking in it.  You can almost feel your skin slurping in the Vitamin D.  I was at a soccer game yesterday.  It was a perfect day, not too hot, not too cold.  The breeze was just cool enough to keep the sun from scorching heat.  I wore shorts and short sleeves…no hat.  In between cheering, I put my head back and let the sun kiss my cheeks.  Health radiated into me.  I was like a lizard on a rock, just basking, allowing my body to be the benefactor of the rays.  It felt good, refreshing…healthy.  I appreciate these little things more these days.  I am getting healthier by the day…I can feel it.  Today I am sunburned…just slightly…enough for my freckles to surface. The warmth of yesterday’s sun is a refreshing memory, but the Vitamin D still working!

I have some updates for you on my latest stuff.  My mamogram was normal...hurray!  My bladder test showed some "anotomical bladder issues." Whatever that means.  They said the transcriptionist forgot to put down what the doctors plan is to treat this problem...soooo we have to wait for the doctor to look at it again.  At least they apologized! I should hear something next week.  I went today and had my port flushed...what fun.  It is no big deal but I really didn't like having to go to the chemo lab again.  I have been free for a month and don't want to be there anymore.  I will be glad when I can have the port out...probably over the summer after they determine if my bladder needs surgery.  That's it for now...live fully!

I am on the safety committee at my school.  We are the ones that decide how our school handles crisis situations.  We develop the protocols and steps to keep our children safe.  Each time there is a school crisis in our nation, it forces us to re-think and re-design our procedures.  It could be a tornado, like the one in Alabama , that killed children who followed their school’s safety plan.  It could be a school shooting, like the one in Virgina, where students were killed senselessly.  We try to plan for it all.  The problem is that we cannot allow for every scenario.  And even if we did find a way to calculate every detail of every possibility we could not guarantee, that in those emergency situations, people would not panic.  This fact brings me to the truth…we cannot always be safe.  There are no guarantees.  However, if we are ruled by the fear of the possibilities, our lives become a prison.  The bars, our fearful thoughts, slam closed holding us captive. 

Freedom is a matter of trusting God.  I know that sounds overly simple in the face of such a horrific crime.  But isn’t that what faith is?  Trusting God when we cannot grasp reality?  We have to trust that he is just, and that he will execute his justice.  We have to trust that his grace is sufficient to handle the grief and pain that comes with monumental loss.  We trust him with the souls of our children, friends and family members.  It is not an easy thing to walk in faith.  In fact, it is just plain hard.  When tears are burning our eyes and we think our hearts will break…he holds us.  When our minds cry out to understand…he calms us.  He is our source of hope in the midst of our crumbling world.  He calls us to our knees when the images of the shootings in Virginia refuse to leave our minds.  He is bigger than bullets, but he cries tears over human choices just the same as we do. 

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is “He is close to the brokenhearted.”  I love it because it tells us that God’s presence is near in the midst of a traumatic event brought on by unthinkable human choices.  I often wonder, usually after horrific events like the shootings in Virginia , if God ever wishes he hadn’t given us the freedom of choice.  When we choose poorly, or even dangerously, and he watches his creation destroy itself, what does it do to him?  I think it breaks his heart, similar to when a child we love chooses poorly and has to live with the consequences.

The great thing about my God is that he feels what I feel.  He knows me better than I know myself…including my fears…and he loves me anyway.  Looking at the images of violence, sorrow, and grief, reminds us that he is whispering…Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. 

I had an unexpected reaction today.  I was going to the grocery store, and when I pulled into the parking lot there was a blood mobile.  Suddenly, my eyes were wet with tears.  This was totally out of the blue and I didn’t even really know why it had this effect on me.  I was not sobbing, just tearing up a little.  Surprised by this, I waited in the car until it passed, wondering what in the world caused this sudden reaction.

 I concluded that I am deeply grateful for those who give blood.  I thought about the person that gave the blood that I now have pumping through my veins and a deep appreciation welled up in my heart. I know that people who are regular givers do not think it is a big deal.  They just do it.  I want to tell them, that to those of us who get the blood, it IS a big deal…a very big deal.  I thought back to how much better I felt after my transfusion and thanked God for blood drives, blood mobiles, and nurses that care.  I also asked him to bless the one that contributed to my well-being.  For those of you that are regular givers…THANK YOU!  God bless you for your diligence and compassion. 

Can you tell I have been busy lately?  Life is hectic...and good.  Kids springtime activities are picking up and that gives me very little time.  I am enjoying "being here" for them...I appreciate the little and hectic things of life more now.  I haven't been home before 9:00pm this week so writing hasn't been a possibility.  Maybe this weekend?  We will see.

I know I said that I would have the results from my bladder test in a week...not yet.  I also was supposed to have the results from my mammogram...not yet.  The good news is that if it had been something terrible they would have called me right away...I know that now from experience.  I should hear something in the next couple of days on both tests.  In the meantime, I have gotten a yeast infection from the antibiotics I am on.  The cycle continues.  I am hoping the results from the bladder test give me some answers so we can stop this merry-go-round that I am on with the UTI's.  Even with the infection I am still feeling good.  I am working and active again...that is a blessing I will not take for granted!  I have abundant blessings and I will not let infections interfere...

A couple of weeks ago at church during worship, I felt the Lord speak to my heart.  He asked me, “Will you be transparent in your worship?  Will you allow my glory to show in your life?”  My answer was, “Yes, of course.”  I was caught up in the moment and feeling grateful for my improved health, otherwise I might have hesitated. I have found that usually when God asks an opened ended question it is best to consider what he is asking of you before answering.  This case was no different. 

He asked me, “Will you worship me on Easter…without your wig?  Will you allow others to see me glorified as you worship me…bald?”  Now wait just a minute!  I have been transparent through this journey.  I have written from the heart and not held back my tears or deepest fears.  I did what I felt he asked of me…but this?  I did not know if I could.  I am a behind the scenes person and do not like to be noticed. 

He assured me that this step of obedience would bring him glory.  I was infused with the desire to follow his words to me.  I had peace that he was asking me to do this for a reason.  I saw that the hair, or lack thereof, has become a symbol…like a badge of honor.  It excitedly declares, “I have made it!  I survived!  God raised me from this disease of death and given me life!  I have come out of the tomb!”  To worship him in this moment, with abandon, while all those around me watch, is a testimony to his glory.  He was asking me to step out of my comfort zone and to demonstrate his power by becoming a picture…a picture of his strength in the midst of trial.  He wants me to be seen and he wants me to speak the words he has given.  I agreed.

Today, as I prepared for church I was getting nervous.  I asked my children if it would embarrass them for me to go “wig-less.”  They all encouraged me to do it.  It was cold, so I thought I would find a hat to “keep my head warm.” Indecision was winning the battle.  It had been so clear just a couple of weeks ago, but now it seemed silly.  Then, in a moment of strength, I got in the car and drove away…no wig, no hat, no looking back.  I was nervous. In Sunday school, Bill came to my rescue, sitting by my side and holding my hand.  Then in church, I was able to sing with my hands raised and tears flowing.  I sang of death and resurrection with new meaning in the words.

  I felt a new beauty radiate from me…his beauty.  It did not matter what was happening around me, because I was caught up in worship with him. Afterwards, many people came to hug me.  I guess the hair is a reminder that I have been sick.  Some thanked me, some rubbed my head, some congratulated me, and some were in tears.  It was interesting to hear and watch the reactions that were so different from other weeks.  I had the chance to speak of MY resurrection Sunday and the symbol of new life repeatedly. It was a wonderful Easter to step into something new God has done in my life.  It was my coming out party…out of the tomb!

Today is Saturday and I have gathered all of my chickadees back into the nest.  After a week with just one or two in and out it is nice to have them all home again.  Hannah and Aaron arrived right on time despite the air traffic controller strike in Brazil.  I'd like to thank the Brazillian Air Force for that!  They are exhausted but happy.  They asked for me to stop and get fried chicken, fried okra sweet tea, and mashed potatoes for lunch...l guess they missed southern food!  They came home and were happy to see their rooms clean and fresh, without having to do any of the work!  We looked at all the pictures on the computer. They have had long hot showers and put in the laundry.  Aaron is playing a new video game with William and Hannah is getting ready to take a nap.  It is good for them to be home. We will be getting details for days...the first thing said was how faithful God is...that was a theme of the trip even though they don't plan to have themes, I love it when God does that!  He showed them himself all along the way.  They are already planning next year!

I am struck by how dirty a house can get in such a short time.  I have been spring cleaning for the past two days and haven't gotten beyond one or two rooms!  I know that I have been neglecting the house but this is ridiculous!  It is quite the same as our hearts...you knew I had to go there didn't you?  If we neglect them they build up with trash and dirt...sin.  You know what I mean.  Not blatant things, not even terrible things...but things that keep us from God.  Then we are lonely, or bitter and we wonder how we got to this place.  We really shouldn't wonder...because deep down we know.  I am not talking about a performance here...not a checklist that you must do to be a "good Christain"...but a relationship.  We have all had enough checklists for a lifetime.  No I am talking about time spent allowing God to change you. Humbling ourselves by facing ourselves. He loves it when we do that.  He brings forgiveness when we cannot do it.  He is a constant companion when the rest of the world has abandoned you.  He brings hope into fearful situations and life instead of death.  Yet we still close our hearts to him...or maybe not all of our hearts...just one or two rooms.  We don't want him to go there and see the dirt we have let build up.  We are embarassed but, in this Easter season, his blood is available to do a deep clean...actually it is available every minute of every day.  We are the ones that need a special day like Easter to mark our beginnings.  His mercies are new every morning.  What better time than to clean out and begin anew, than today?