I have a couple of requests for all my praying friends.  A few years ago, our church had a Christian comedian come in after our very big and stressful Christmas production.  He had us in stitches…it was a great evening of release.  Since then, he and I have been e-mail buddies as I have sent him funny moments in my classroom.  I just found out yesterday that his 3-year-old daughter Kennedy Grace has cancer…leukemia to be exact.  I cannot tell you how this grabbed my heart in my chest.  To think of a 3-year-old going through what I went through and worse…it makes me angry.  I have never liked the enemy of our souls, but this is too much.  This family has 3 small children and a dad that travels.  I know that they would appreciate your prayers that this terrible disease be eradicated from their daughter’s body.  I would add to pray that there would be smooth medical procedures, as you can imagine having to explain to a 3 year old why all of these painful things HAVE to be done to her.  Their names are Kenn and Heather Kington.  His website has a link to their blog about Kennedy’s progress.  It is www.kennkington.com 

After this shocking news, Hannah came in with yet another prayer request.  Christian recording artist Russ Lee (you have heard him on the radio) is a friend of our music minister.  They were supposed to stop at one of his concerts on the way home from Branson.  The concert was canceled due to the fact that his wife has cancer!  Can you believe this?  They went in to remove what they thought was a cyst and found cancer.  I am not sure of the details…but Hannah said she thinks they had to remove part of her spleen and pancreas.  Like I said, I am not sure but I know that this needs prayer as well. 

Those that have committed their lives to full time ministry are under attack, as you can see.  Please pray for them…as well as your own pastors and their families.  The battle is heating up and they are the first targets.  As you battle on your knees for these please pray for peace that passes understanding and wisdom.  I know you are prayer warriors because you got me through my battle…thank you for your hearts of prayer.

           This date is significant.  I heard that people everywhere are getting married and having babies on this date.  It is a lucky number I guess 7-7-7.  I have to say that it has me thinking, because it is a huge date in my life.  One year ago today, I heard the words every one fears…you have cancer.  It was like a physical blow to my body just to hear the words.  Can you imagine how big a word is to be able to take your breath away just hearing it? 

My mind was numb, my body in fearful shock.  What a day that was, 7-7-06.  I didn’t know what was ahead that day, other than a whirlwind of medical procedures I didn’t know anything about.  The word crashed around in my head, taunting me for days. 

Now I look back.  Wow, how far I have come in one long/short year…hysterectomy, open incision, chemo, no hair, new hair then surgery again.  That is a lot for one body to endure.  But what my body endured is nothing compared to what my spirit learned.  God is soooo incredibly faithful.  And as I flew over Mt. McKinley in Alaska , I realized cancer isn’t such a big word.  God is infinitely bigger.  His majesty is greater.  His compassion and mercy are endless. 

My heart is overwhelmed at the year.  I had what will hopefully, be my last surgery, planned for last week specifically to be finished before the one-year mark.  In the bible, the number 7 is the number of completion…the number of God.  I choose to think that God had it all planned that this day would be a day of rejoicing for me.  I do not think it is coincidence.  It is a day I will never forget.  The day the bully cancer came to push me around. It is a day I will always remember…the day that I realized that cancer is a very small word. 

         There are certain foods that hit the spot.  I know that when I am sick or hurting I turn to those foods to comfort me. (I also know that this habit can get me into trouble diet wise.)  It is not really the foods so much, as it is the memories of the feelings they bring.  These foods are like family because they are associated with all family gatherings. 

          This week my mom made my dinner after I returned from the hospital…a good home cooked meal.  On that plate were memories of warm family times.  Christmas was on that plate, as was Easter.  It was just what I needed to begin the recovery process from surgery.

            As I ate, both my grandmothers were there, comforting me. One grandmother was there through the green beans and the other through macaroni and cheese.  If smells can bring back memories, then tastes transport me back to times gone by.  I was instantly comforted when I ate this home-cooked with love dinner.  I know it sounds crazy, but this food began my healing.  Nutrition was only a minor player here.  Emotionally, it caught me off guard how quickly my mouth and mind connected the flavors to my grandmothers.  I miss them and I always feel it when there are smells and tastes around that remind me of them.   And the care my mom took to bring me just the right thing at just the right time solidified our family’s time honored tradition of comfort foods…there is a long list.  But for me this week, green beans and mac and cheese were the ones that sparked the nurture and care of family. 

In illness, it is remarkable the things that you appreciate.  Little things that didn’t matter before, like who cooked what at holidays matter now.  The little things are what get you through the hard times.  This surgery was minor compared to this previous year.  I am recovering nicely and feel relatively normal.  My body is adjusting to this new intrusion and I think it will be back to regular once I practice enough.  Again, I am grateful to God for bringing me through…and for comfort foods.

          I have fallen behind in my writing as I guess you can tell.  Bill and I decided since we were child-less and dog-less that we should take advantage.  We went to Highlands to see our friend Pete perform at the Highlands Playhouse.  The show was Kiss Me Kate and it was great.  We found a little Bed and Breakfast that was cozy so we stayed there.  It was an enjoyable, slow paced, Fourth of July.  We meandered and moseyed, two things we have not done in some time. We dropped in on mom and dad and ended up having dinner there, then we wandered on home to an empty house.    No schedule, nothing planned, just stop when we wanted, and see what we wanted…it was perfect. 

It did make me think…what is Jason’s family doing today?  Do you celebrate our country even more when your child sacrificed his life to preserve it, or do you think more solemnly of the cost of freedom?  My guess is that it is both.  It had to be an emotional day for any family that has lost a loved one in battle.  I think that is why the World War II generation is so seriously patriotic…they lived with the cost of our freedom.  They breathed it and so they understand the balance of celebration and remembrance.  The fireworks and barbeque are hard won privileges that most of us take for granted in our great country.  The Fourth of July is a time to relax and mosey…and remember.

I am doing just as they said...staying home with the cath in...giving my bladder time to heal and rest.  I have a call into the doctors office this morning to find out what my next step is.  I am supposed to get this out today I think but I have to hear from them soon...not usually something they are too good at.  I am feeling good as long as I have my pain meds in my system.  When they wear off I am not too bad but still sore enough that I am still taking them.  I am finding that getting toxins out of your system is something that we take for granted!  If you cannot do it then you feel pretty gross pretty quickly!  Keep on praying please...I am almost there...

When was the last time you slept all night without having to get up to go to the bathroom?  I cannot remember, can you?  Last night we went to bed at 8:30 or so and I just got up at 8:19.  My bag was full (2250 cc's)but I didn't have to get up to change it until now.  Wow a full night's sleep...I should feel great today.  I only woke up once to take more pain pills and then I was back out again.  I am sore at the incision spots and where my port is, is starting to itch...a good sign.  I plan to lie around today and tomorrow and allow my body to work the way God designed it...to heal itself.

We made it home and again it is sweet to be here.  I have a cath in place and they plan to remove it Monday or Tuesday.  It was the doctors opinion that I have a better chance to heal if it stays in place rather than in and out everytime I have to void.  I agreed and off we went.  It is a relief, though still a nuisance, to know that I will be voiding without having to concentrate and sit for hours.  I plan to sit around the house...all the kids are gone.  Two at camp, the other two on a mission trip.  I have until Friday to heal without interuption. Things are much better but please continue to pray that all will heal up quickly and smoothly this week.  I love you all!

Would it surprise you to hear that I am in the hosptial as I write this?  It shouldn't.  You know I couldn't have a surgery without some kind of complication.  It seems that the surgery worked soooo well that I cannot go to the bathroom.  I was admited and have been trying to go for the past 24 hours.  Each time I try first then they go in an drain what I couldn't.  It started out that I was going about 50cc's and they would take 1000cc's.  Now I am going 400cc's and they are draining 550.  Please pray that my body will do what it is supposed to so that I can go home.  We are tired. 

The surgery went well. The waking up was much smoother than last time.  However, there has been a slight complication.  I cannot go to the bathroom on my own.  I have been trying to relax all day.  They finally drained my bladder of 1250 ccs.  Now I feel so much better!  But since I cannot do it on my own yet I will be staying the night.  My doctor will be in tomorrow to find out what the problem is.  They had kind of prepared me for this...by asking that I bring an overnight bag "just in case."  I did and so I am here until I can go on my own.  Two of my kids leave for a mission trip in the morning early.  I hate that I will miss the send off but nothing can be done.  The good news is that the incisions they made are not giving me too much trouble pain wise.  I am sore and will probably be more so to next to days to so...but once I can go I think this will not be too bad of a recovery.  Keep praying..

That old foe fear is back.  I guess it goes with surgery and medical things.  I am remembering waking up from my last surgery.  It was scary because I was awake in my head but my body was totally asleep.  It was like being trapped inside myself.  I know that is probably normal but at the time panic would rise because no one could tell that I was awake.  I determined that I will always talk to people in comas because of this experience.  I don't want to do this surgery...but I have to.  I know it is not as major but irrational fear doesn't care about that.  I am probably most worried about the IV.  Last week they tried to get blood from me and I still have a bruse.  That vein is no good for tomorrow...so that is one less chance they have to find a place for the IV.  And I guess that deep inside if I really look at it, I am secretly worried that he will find something bad.  I think last years surgery and the fact that it was supposed to be one thing and it turned out to be much more has me anxious.  I know, I know...be anxious for nothing but enter everything with prayer and supplication.  I am trying...I really am.  That is a hard scripture to live out!

I keep thinking that tomorrow night at this time I will be through!  My bladder will be fixed and my port will be out!  July 7th is my one year anniversary of my diagnosis.  Can you believe it has been one year?!  In one way it seems soooo much longer than that...in another way it seems like it all happened so fast.  I choose to focus on the positive not the fear.  I will be fine and all will go well tomorrow, I keep professing that over myself.  But if you feel like praying I'd be grateful!

One side note...Aaron got his drivers license today!  That is a whole different kind of fear altogether!