Who is watching you?  Who is listening to your words to see if they match your actions?  Yesterday I found out that my son is watching me.  Let me tell you how.  We have scheduled a rafting trip with our Sunday School class.  We all take our families and go down together.  Last year Bill took the kids and went without me...I was recovering.  It broke my heart for them to go without me, and at that time I didn't know if I would ever be able to raft again.  They had a blast...I knew they would.  

Then this summer in Alaska I did it!  I got completely caught up in the thrill of it and when our Sunday School class decided to go again, our family was the first name on the list...that was in June.  As the time got closer, we realized that Peter's first football game and team pictures were on the same day.  We tried to work it out for someone else to take him to his game so the rest of us could go rafting.  Nothing we tried worked, so I told him that I would stay home to take him.  I really didn't want to, but it meant so much to him I didn't want him to miss out.  He immediately said, "No way you are missing the rafting.  You have to live fully!  I will skip my game and come too. There are plenty of other games but you really want this."  This is the part where I realize what we have been through has affected us all.  This is the part where I realize they are listening and watching.  This is the part where I cry at the sacrafice of an 11 year old for his mothers dreams.  Live Fully...someone is watching!

I have great news!  I went to my endriconologist (?) today.  My blood pressure is great!  My lipids are great!  My colesterol is great!  My thyroid is great!  My A1C is 5.2...that is great!  I asked about another medication for my glucose that I had heard about and she said no because with your glucose as low as it is you would drop too low.  Wow!  How wonderful to get such great news. I went to Curves to celebrate.  It has been six weeks since my bladder surgery so I am good to go...slowly.  It was good to get back into my work outs...they are stress relievers.  With school starting I need some stress relief.  It is nice for a change to hear how healthy I am becoming...great!

Another trip to the funeral home.  This one was tragic beyond words.  My student, an eight-year-old boy, lost his mother.  Two weeks ago, he lost his father. Heartbreaking does not begin to cover it.  It is remarkable how resilient children are.  I know that the depth of this day has not yet affected this boy.  It may not for years to come. Yet I cannot help but wonder what is the plan?  If you know God is in control, and he allows things for his purposes…what is the purpose?  To me, this night, I cannot see it.  I see a little boy without parents and a family torn apart.  It is hard.  It affects my heart.  And now I have the chance to teach this child.  I will see him every day and try to help him put his life together.  Everyday teachers deal with the circumstances in the lives of our students.  Some are difficult and heartbreaking…like today.  It is my calling and a ministry to reach children.  My job has never been about test scores…it is about children and life. 

Can it have only been two days that we have been back at school?  It seems like a month at least.  I am exhausted after only two days!  It is this way every year...but it is like labor, you forget the trauma from the last one until it is too late.  I know that next week will be a super long one because it will be 5 days.  Things will get smoother as the structure begins...it is the first few days of procedures and policies that take forever.  Once we can get our routine established we will hit the ground running.  The kids are immature and act like they don't know how to do anything themselves...except talk and play.  By the end of the year they are ship shape and we send them on...only to get a new group of little ones and start over.  It is a perspective thing however.  One of our new teachers came from teaching 1st grade and she is amazed at how mature and independent they are!  Imagine that.  It is all about expectations. 

I do have a prayer request for one of my students.  Last week his father died suddenly from a heart attack at 37.  We have been watching him closely these two days back.  We found out this afternoon that his mother died today!  So far the cause is unknown...didn't wake up.  It is so hard to deal with this kind of loss even for adults much less an 8 year old.  Please pray for the grandmother who will be taking even greater responsibility now, and for the sibling of this boy.  It is a tragic situation.

I saw a really cool thing today.  There were two teenage boys riding bikes along the side of the road.  Nothing unusual about that in our little town.  As I passed by, the car in front of me pulled to the side of the road, stopping for a funeral procession.  Again, nothing unusual about that. I slowed to a stop as well and waited in a long line of cars paying respects to the dead. 

What was a surprise to me, was that the boys both stopped their bikes, and took off their hats as the procession passed by. These boys obviously were not old enough to drive.  They were probably out enjoying their last day before school starts. (Though riding bikes in 100-degree heat would not be my choice of a fun day.) They were not clean cut kids.  Some might even say that they looked a little like trouble makers with long hair, and piercing all over. Yet here they were honoring a total stranger.  I was taken aback by this show of respect.

I think that many times we jump to conclusions about people from appearances, especially young people. I know I do. This is unfair judgment on our part because appearances can be deceiving.  Every one deserves a chance to show her/himself for who they are…before we size them up.  We should reserve our judgments and try to see beyond how someone looks.  As school starts tomorrow, I am reminded of this lesson from watching these boys stand in the heat.  Until the very end of the procession they stood, heads slightly bowed hats over hearts.  It was a simple show of humanity, which we do not often attribute to preteens. It was an important lesson that reminded me to dig deeper with my students and to look beyond clothes, and hair to the heart. 

I am back at work full time. And my new graduate class started yesterday. We have had a busy week with back to school conferences with parents on Monday.  I worked 8:00 am- 8:00 pm.  It is a grueling day but meeting with each parent individually gives valuable information BEFORE school starts.  Today we had our county wide meeting and it was a hoot as always.  We really have a great county.  The community supports us...this week all the banks take turns providing meals and little gifts like calendars.  We got to see and hear about all the new teachers today.  Each year there seem to be more as our county grows.  Our school is still on the look out for a 5th grade teacher and a 3rd grade teacher...so if you know anyone that needs a teaching job send them our way.  Tomorrow we have staff pictures and I. D.s will be made then meetings.  We had the afternoon in our rooms today and I got to clean out two years of stuff.  I am a long way from being finished.  My things were moved so many times while I was sick that I don't even know what I have.  I plan to use this whole year to purge and get rid of stuff I haven't used in a while.  Overall it is a busy week.  Another UTI slowed me down some. It is my second since surgery.  Hey, wasn't this surgery supposed to fix this???  So far it hasn't worked.  I plan to see yet another doctor in a week or two...a urologist this time.  Other than that all is well.  I am exhausted from being back in the grind.  Kids go back on Thursday...

I have a favorite tree.  It stands alone in a rolling pasture on the highest hill.  Surrounded by waving green grass it looks like the guardian of the land.  There is a chocolate fence that encloses grazing horses.  The shade of the tree brings them relief and they gather around.  A mountain with all the greens of summertime stands over the tree.  It is a picturesque view.  It makes me wonder…what has that tree been witness to?  How many primitive people stood in its shade?  If that tree could talk what stories, would it tell?  I think that about all trees because I love old things.  It is my historical side coming through.  I have a curious streak that has me wondering and often imagining things of the past; how they came to be, what happened at a certain place…my mind can take off at such thoughts.

 I think that it is interesting that God uses tiny seeds to bring about ancient trunks.  In our microwave world, God is a farmer.  He never rushes, yet he is always on time. Nature does not strive, and the trees prove that. God is patient. His definition of patience and ours are different.  If you have ever prayed for patience you already know this.  Two years seems like forever for us, but in the life of a tree it is nothing.  God plans and plants.  He nurtures to bring forth the fruit in the right season.

 And what can we learn from the trees? They start as acorns or seed pods lying on the ground.  They begin to sprout and their roots dig down.  Before you know it, a small seedling stands where the seed once was, and after that a sapling.  Over years, the tree grows taller and straighter by reaching for the sun and digging roots deep. Trees get stronger as they mature. They produce fruit of one kind or another.  They can buffet the winds of storms.  They provide shade and homes for animals.  The beauty of their branches reaching towards heaven reminds us to look up. 

In many ways, we are like the trees.  Starting small and growing to maturity.  God is not worried about if we will make it to our full height.  He does not loose sleep over if our roots will dig deep or shallow.  He is a farmer with a plan.  He sees all of what we will become as part of his design. Eventually our arms will rise, in praise to him.  We will learn to weather storms with flexibility and grace.  We will provide safe shelter for those that are weary. Fruit will come forth in our lives in the right season.  He has created us for this…and he always finishes what he starts.  Just look at the trees.     

Yesterday was a stressful day.  I had forgotten.  It didn't help that I was at a training about new changes to a system we have been using for years.  Change is always hard and when your already heavy workload is increased it becomes overwhelming.  There were tears...not just from me...as we heard all that we will have to add to what we already do.  Hard day.  But after lunch we were able to suck it up and move on.  That is something that teachers are good at.  We resist change and new things for minutes...then we buckle down and get the job done.  Ultimately this new system will be better...if some new person at the state level doesn't change it first!  I guess that was my welcome back to work day...

Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go.  Today is the first day for me!  I am back in the saddle full time wheeeeee!

Siege- the act or process of surrounding and attacking a fortified place in such a way as to isolate it from help and supplies, for the purpose of lessening the resistance of the defenders and thereby making capture possible.

When your physical heart is blocked, there is a build up of years of unhealthy living that slows the blood flow.  The heart pumps, but it is hindered from fully functioning.  Over time, the blocked artery can cause damage…even death, if it is not attended.  The heart is handicapped.  The life-blood ceases to flow properly and fatigue is the result.  Our heart gets tired so blood pressure rises to compensate.  The circulation is cut off from some parts of our body causing numbness. Eventually, severe pain causes us to seek help.  This serious problem must be addressed.

Our spiritual hearts are no different.  It does not matter if you do not know the Lord or have known him for years.  We sin.  We choose, not fully comprehending how deadly that choice can be.  Over time, we will become numb to the effects of our sin.  It impedes the life that God is so desperately trying to pump into our spirit.  Sometimes we wait until the pain is so great we feel we will explode before going to our source of life.  The oxygen carried by the blood is the Holy Spirit.  It is life.  When we allow Jesus in to our spiritual heart, his blood washes away the blockages.  It flushes our system of the toxic waste that sin causes.  The unforgiveness, bitterness, and selfishness are removed, being replaced with humility and compassion.   Anything that blocks us from receiving God’s love is taken, allowing us to once again experience the flow.  Our lives are revived, and renewed. Grace abounds.   

I use this story to show that God wants to bring down the walls we have built up.  He has laid siege to our hearts.  He longs to break through the blockages.  He knows we are well fortified in our hardness of heart and he has a plan to break through.  His methods may seem unconventional but if we trust him, the battle will be over quickly and he will root out the darkness.  He will give us the land.  Our hearts will no longer be divided.  We will not battle to keep hidden secrets once he has blasted the clogging muck that hinders us.  The sin that the enemy has worked so hard for us to become entrapped in will be shown for what it is.  The blood of the Lord will flow, pumping, pumping, pumping…life.