I am pondering tonight.  I don't know if I ever had noticed this or not, but in Genesis 1 (we started a new study in Sunday school today.) God says let there be light on the first day of creation.  But then on day four he creates the sun and the moon.  Hmmmmm.  Interesting.  So if the sun and the moon were created on day four where did the light come from on day one, two and three?  And if it came from God himself why did he have to "create" it?  Just thoughts to ponder...now you know how my crazy mind works...

Well the holiday season is in full swing at our house. The Christmas production kept us busy this week.  Hannah and William are now in the high school Christmas show.  We have had concerts, recitals, and still have more to come.  It is the busy hustle and bustle of the season.  In another week things will settle down and we may be able to get some shopping in.  It is crazy like this every year.  Last year, I was unable to attend several of the events that are part of our Christmas.  I am trying not to be stressed but to enjoy the fact that I am healthy this year.  It is a blessing to be cherished. 

The house is coming along.  Today was my first day home to try to get decorated.  We got our tree the day after Thanksgiving and it has been set up in our living room ever since.  We got the lights on last weekend and promptly discovered that our Christmas tree stand has a hole in it.  We were wondering how that tree could possibly be drinking that much!  So now our tree is dying quickly because I refused to get a new stand and take it down in order to set it back up.  It took days to sop up all the water out of the carpet. So our tree will go thirsty the next couple of weeks.  Hopefully on Christmas there will still be a few needles left.
  Today the ornaments went up.  I set the box out last weekend and asked the kids to put a couple of ornaments up each time they came through the living room.  I was hoping by the end of the week they would all be on, but it was not to be.  No one has been home long enough to put any on and so today our tree finally got its Christmas outfit. 

I hope that you and yours are having a great season of living fully.  Priorities are so important this time of year.  I am trying to remember to take time to keep things in proper perspective.  I love the holidays, but the stress is high.  I do not want the stress to steal my joy of being alive and well this year. One tradition I plan to keep is taking time to reflect on the meaning of the season.  I pray that God will allow you to do the same.

Hello all…I have been extremely busy lately.  I haven’t had time to think much less write.  The church Christmas production is this week and I am serving.  It is something I wasn’t able to do last year so I am blessed. 

Saturday night I was able for the first time to go to the Cleveland Christmas parade.  Each year we have all been involved in the church Christmas play and have not been able to attend the parade.  This year since only two kids are involved (and they can drive themselves J ) I took Peter and William to the parade.  It was lovely.  On the square in town there were games and vendors selling things.  The shops were open and there was live music.  The parade was at 7:00, so it was dark, and all the floats were lit up.  It was like a Norman Rockwell scene. 

I was thinking how nice it is to be in a community that still has the small town feel.  Everywhere I went there were people I knew, students I had taught, and friends from church.  What a blessing to live in a place where you feel like you fit.  There is a great deal of pride in this town.  Sometimes it makes for interesting debate in the editorial section of the paper, but it is also what brings us together as a community.  It is funny how as a town our weakness and strength are one and the same.

I think it is like that for people as well.  How many times have you met someone with wonderful creativity that could not think in common sense terms?  Or a person that is so gifted in organization that they try to control everything?  The gifts we have are our greatest strengths and our greatest weaknesses.  I think that God did that intentionally.  He knew that apart from him our talents would go awry and yet he gave them to us anyway.  Why is that?  I believe that he gave us a choice to glorify him or not.  When we use our giftedness to build up, it blesses his heart.  When we are stubborn and use it for our own purposes, it tears others down.  It is another choice given to us by an extravagant God. He pours freedom out for us in so many ways; if we could just drink it in our lives would reflect His. Saturday night was a spectacular example of a community coming together to use their talents to bless others.  It is these kinds of events that give small town America a great name, and bring a smile to the face of God.

I have a prayer request.  I have a friend that is a Christian Comedian.  He is sooo funny.  His 3 year old daughter has Lukemia.  I have written about him before, his name is Kenn Kington.  I just got an update that Kennedy Grace is in the hosptial with a high fever, low blood pressure and an unstable heart rate.  They are nearing the end of treatment so this is a bad setback for the family.  Please pray for strength for his wife Heather, she sounds weary and scared.  Last night, evidently was a nightmare.  Today things are some better but they have tried 10 antibiotics in a 24 hour period to try to fight off the fever.  I cannot imagine what they are going through.  I have no idea how or when Kenn will be out of town next.  He has to continue to work and many times it takes him out of town for a week or so.  When that happens Heather is caring for her three kids on her own.  She has a great support group through the church and her family is close by however, I know that not having him there as a support has got to be hard.  Not to mention, his job of doing comedy when his daughter is so sick. The 2 brothers are troupers but are afraid...this has been rough on them. This family has been a blessing to so many please pray that these bumps in the road would smooth out and that the treatment would be effective.  My heart is breaking for this little one.

Today a friend said “Isn’t it a beautiful day?”  That struck me. Normally, I would not say that pouring down rain and 40 degrees was a beautiful day.  However, in light of the drought it was exactly the kind of day we needed. She was right it was beautiful.

I think it is all a matter of perspective.  When we are in a drought rain is beautiful, in a flood the sun is a welcome relief.  As humans we are like that as well.  When things are tough we seek God.  When they are not, we do not.  In a perspective changing moment all that we have thought is one way becomes another.  Our definitions change of what is beautiful and what is needed.  I am glad that God doesn’t change like we do.  He is a rock that is solid.  He does not need to change the definitions.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  The drought does not ruffle him, he sends the rain.  I am thankful that he sent us this beautiful day…I will rejoice and be glad in it.

It is Thanksgiving. Each year I have my students create an acrostic poem using the first letters of the word.  This year, as an example,  I have created my own.  Here it is to share with you.  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

T- thankful
H- health and happiness
A-abiding love
N-network of friends
K- kids of my womb
S-survival
G-glorious freedom
I-intimate realtionship with God
V-victory over cancer
I-important lessons
N-nature's beauty
G-God's grace and goodness

It is close to midnight on November 21st.  I am taking a late-night moment to reflect.  It is a momentous day.  My first born turned 18 today.  For those of you who have walked this walk to adulthood with your children already, I ask that you bear with me.  This is my first one.  I know, as with every milestone, it is bigger with her.  I am in unfamiliar territory.  That is part of the job of the firstborn…to pave the way for the others that follow.  I must say that Hannah has handled this unspoken burden well.  She has been the first to experience heartaches that come with being a teenager, the first to have braces, zits, and dates.  Even now we prepare for her to go to college…first. 

I do love this girl and I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming.  I rejoice with her as she begins to spread her wings.  I cannot wait to see all that God will do in her life.  Yet it is a bittersweet road we are walking.  She is reminding me that this is a year of “last times.”  I think she is sad about it, and a bit afraid of going on…weren’t we all?  She has said, more than once, “What am I going to do next year without you and dad to get advice from?”  I tell her, “You will call us.”  I will miss her curling up in the bed next to me at night just to talk.  All of the kids started this while I was sick.  It was like they would come to me, rather than have me come to them.  They would just come and lay next to me just to tell me about their day, both successes and problems.  It was a sweet time that has stuck beyond cancer.  It is these times that I treasure with Hannah.  We have grown closer this past year.  It will make the separation harder for both of us, however, it is a new and necessary phase. 

Eighteen years have flown by with the blink of an eye.  She was a baby only yesterday.  Then the toddling around grew into dancing.  Her love for the Lord has blossomed and begun the long process of maturing as she has grown in stature.  It is amazing to think of all the growth I have witnessed over her lifetime.  In the years to come, her life will take shape before my eyes but away from my house.  Now more than ever I am on my knees asking God to bless my precious daughter as she enters adulthood.

Good news today.  I went to the oncologist for my 4 month checkup and my CA125 was 8.4. That is a blood test that is a tumor marker and if it is elevated that is bad... It has to be under 34 so I am doing very good!  I do not have to go back for 4 more months.  I have to have a CT scan before then for my one year scan.  All in all alot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!  Have a wonderful holiday everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I am at mom and dad's tonight enjoying family time.  For those of you who do not know we have our thanksgiving celebration the weekend BEFORE Thanksgiving each year at mom and dad's house.  I had a terrible week at work and this was just what I needed to begin the holiday season. 
We were late coming up because of the White County play off game that went into overtime!  It was an exciting game, though freezing, and we were ahead until the last quarter.  Then there was a tie and we lost at the last minute.  Heartbreaking to watch those boys get so close to loose.  It was played at Grady stadium in Atlanta so it was quite an experience for everyone and we have never seen a band play like that one... :)  We didn't get home until 1:00am.  Up early to come on up to Clayton and then we all chilled out and relaxed all day.  Fun times.

           The dictionary defines grace as “God’s unmerited favor; mercy.”  I have heard numerous sermons on this topic over the years. These messages often use the two words grace and mercy interchangeably; however, over the course of my life, I have come see them as two distinctly different attributes of God.  Continuing further down the dictionary entry, one of the definitions stands out to me: “the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.” God’s spirit strengthening me…that is the grace I know.

There are references throughout the bible about the grace of God, but my favorite is “He resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.”  When I am walking in his grace, I am empowered to do that to which he has called me.  I love this about him.  He calls me to something, and then gives me the grace to do it because I cannot do it myself.  The strength to go through life, through cancer, through work, comes through his sacrifice. You fill in the blank with your own difficult situation.  Then remember…grace empowers.

At dusk, lift your face and watch the light streaming through cotton candy clouds.  As the sun fades, the colors change from pink to purple, red to orange. A spectacular palate of vivid color is blended in such a way to draw our eyes to the horizon. Each night a different masterpiece appears, and we are in awe.  The creator displays his splendor in a sunset…a picture of his grace.

 The parallel is that at the end of the day, the moments you walked, and the work you did, blend together to create your own portrait of his grace.  You were empowered by him to complete your tasks, to make a difference in a life, to minister to others, to live fully and love completely.  Ideally, your day was filled with peace, because you responded to his leading.  The colors in the day of your life blend and create a picture that points others to the horizon and causes them to look up. 

Is everyday filled with his grace?   I believe it could be, however, we also have to remember the human factor.  We forget.  We get busy. We make mistakes.  Here is where the difference between the power of grace and the compassion of mercy comes in. After a day when I fail to use his grace, comes the darkness of night.  I am tired from striving.  I am grieved from falling. I am weak from confusion.  Stumbling through the dark of my choice to live without his grace I find a place on my knees.  I cry out my new choice and the sun comes up in the morning of my life.  The light will stream through the darkness of the previous night, and mercy begins again.  “His mercy is new every morning.”  The rays of sunlight break through the clouds to remind me of his unmerited favor in my life.  He will not leave me or forsake me no matter how badly I deserve it.  I can walk in his grace or I can walk away from it, and his mercy will still endure forever.  He will not walk away from me because the sunrise brings hope of a new day…every day.