A productive day...more inventory, a new disaster bank account, a storage space, and a post office box.  It is exhausting on less than adequate sleep, but we are moving forward.  Tomorrow the cleaning crew should be complete with all that they are taking from the house.  The basement will be empty...no carpet, nothing.  It is an empty shell, ready for the next step...demo.  They will be ripping out the walls soon, and the ceiling and floors.  A new thing...

I have decided to keep a list.  Maybe listing all that we own, for the insurance company, has rubbed off.  During a tragedy there are so many hardships that your head sometimes forgets to look at the bright side.  Overwhelming details crowd your thoughts clamoring for your attention. I try to be a glass half full kind of a person, because I believe with all my heart that God is in everything.  He uses every circumstance in some way for his glory.  By looking for his fingerprints in bad situations, I am exercising my faith and belief that he is a good God.  So far, I have never been disappointed.  He is always there. Even if it takes some time to see him, he is often working in ways that I cannot comprehend until much later.  The depth of insight into his character is most evident in hardship.  Some may say that the items on my list are purely coincidence.  I beg to differ.  When there are this many coincidences I look up to Jehovah Jira, the provider…of miracles.

The Miracle List

1.                          We were home.  Normally we would have already left for church but I decided I needed some peanut butter and crackers before we left so we could wait and eat dinner after church.

2.                          We smelled the smoke and were looking for it before we ever saw it.

3.                          Two of the firemen from the volunteer fire department “just happened” to be at the station when the call came in.

4.                          Half of my family was not home when it happened which allowed more time to get fewer people out unharmed.

5.                          It did not happen while we were sleeping.

6.                          We caught it early enough that the whole house didn’t burn to the ground.

7.                          The landlords we are renting from were in need of some cash flow since they are a builder and a real estate agent in this slow market.  They were trusting God to provide them with renters.

8.                          We found the house even though it was NOT in the rental market.

9.                          The setting is on peaceful land rather than in Helen traffic.

10.                      My regular cleaning lady lost my house but gained business from my new landlords.  She was trusting God to provide her more homes to clean.

11.                      Our builder was in need of an additional job that started immediately because of the slow market. 

12.                      We were able to get the temporary power pole in one day.

13.                      This happened BEFORE school started.

14.                      To be continued….

     Today was an emotional day...a few tears came forth when I was told I had to inventory every item in the house. (It was like RTI only worse!)  Not only that, but I had to tell the serial number/brand/model number, where we bought the item,  how many years we owned it, and how much it cost now.  That was enough to do me in.  I had to take a breather for a few minutes and collapse.  Then back at it doing the best I could to comply.  The good news is that the cleaning company came and began the clean up.  They packed up and removed almost everything downstairs.  Then they pulled out most of the carpet.  The smell was worse than before while they were taking the carpet out.  Man, what a gross smelling mess.  They are going to be drying out the walls and floors so the mildew doesn't spread.  They will be working for at least 2 more days to complete this very tedious work.  My hats off to them...I think they need to be on Dirtiest Jobs. My dad came and deliver our instruments to two different places for repair and cleaning.  One was in Atlanta, so it was quite a day for him.  (Thanks Dad)  Bill's mom watched the kids all day...and fixed dinner!  (Thanks Nannie)  This would not be possible if not for our family support.  My friend commented today on how blessed we are to have so much help.  I heartily agreed.  We have an incredible support system and we have used with every trauma we have faced! 
    In the meantime, we found a cute house to rent.  It is on three acres and has a little creek with a bridge and a pond.  Lots of room for kids and dogs to play, plenty of parking space and a bed for every one.  It is not nearly as big as our house but it is newly refurbished and it was done beautifully.  It was really a miracle we found it because with Octoberfest coming up all the rentals we called on were already booked.  It is not in Helen but on Duncan Bridge Road.  That means that the leaf traffic will not be as big of an issue.  We are relieved about this and it takes a huge load off to know where we will be living.  Our plan is to move in this weekend...probably Saturday.  I will be continuing the inventory of the house for the next few days.  I am thrilled we are moving forward!  It seems like a month since last week!  Thanks for the prayers and keep it up...we are seeing miracles.

            When you ask the Lord to stop the fire, he does.  Immediately.  There is no condition.  The firemen do not stop to ask detailed questions about how the fire started.  They put it out.  The damage on the other hand, remains.  And boy is there damage.  I think in our lives many times we cry out to Jesus to save us from the fire, but then we let the mess remain. Or, we try to clean it up ourselves.  Let me tell you if I had to clean the disaster at my house right now I would get depressed!  It is overwhelming to think of handling this mess on my own.  My other option is to ignore it and keep living in a toxic environment.

 In our spiritual lives we have the same choices; fix our broken lives on our own, or act as if everything is fine.  Another option is to ask for help.  The Lord has put some pretty special people around that specialize in cleaning up messes.  They are professionals, gifted by God to recognize the root and the subsequent damage. He gifted them for the specific purpose of cleaning up the harm that comes from fire.  Just like the cleaning company that is going to remove the soot and mildew from my house, counselors help make sense of the mess in order to eliminate it because the bigger the fire the more chaos. 

As a believer, if there is something that is preventing me from freedom, I will not be free if I continue to operate in the same way. We had to move out of our house because it is not safe to remain there.  Moving to a different place is required when there is destruction.  You have heard that an alcoholic doesn’t need to remain in a bar.  It is not a matter of God forbidding or trying to say you cannot have fun, it is a matter of rebuilding.  When there is sin and it does its insidious work, sometimes the only way to rebuild is to relocate away from the damage.  I am not talking about a physical move, but a mental one.  It is retraining thoughts and the habitual actions that come from them.  It doesn’t matter which freedom blocker…gossip, envy, unforgiveness, slander, adultery…the list goes on and on.  The moving away from disaster, and the professional help, begin the rebuilding of a life. 

The Lord oversees this whole process and leads us down a path of reflection.  Now is the time to get detailed about how the fire started.  Now is the time to assess the damages and see how far the destruction spread within the walls.  Now is the time to demolish the remaining walls and remove the toxic debris.  It is a purging and the Lord is ruthless…and kind…in his pruning of unwanted freedom blockers.  He does not stop until the last vestiges of the putrid smell are gone.  We, of course, can choose to start the fire again, or abandon the process of healing along the way, but HIS heart is for us to have the courage to let him complete the work he started.  He will give us the faith to stand in the midst of our mess…it is humbling…and sometimes embarrassing, but it is also freeing!  If we could just remember the freedom that comes when our sin is removed we would not fight it so hard the next time we fall!  To be washed whiter than snow is one of the great benefits of faith in Christ.  It is a mystery to be sure.  What kind of love does this great work in us with such patience and kind understanding?  Amazing love. 

Today we found another possible house.  It is more expensive but is it also bigger and NOT in Helen.  I don't know if the insurance company will go for it but we are going to try.  If not we will take the small one in Helen.  It was a good day...but we are tired of looking at houses.  We just want to find a place to settle in while we wait for the house to be fixed. 
Tomorrow we meet the adjustor, and the cleaning company at the house in the morning at 8:30...so we should know more tomorrow night.  Off to bed we go...up early for our big day.

I found a nugget.  I knew there would be insight because God is everywhere, even in the storms…even lightning storms. From the beginning of this new ordeal I have been mulling over a thought.  As I have cleaned, it has become clearer in my mind.  Sin stinks.  Pretty simple I know.  When I think about God saying our sin is like a stink in his nostrils, I can understand that quite clearly now.  Even our good works are like that to him because sin is not exactly a behavior.  I think that hell-fire and brimstone preachers have give sin a bad name, if you will pardon my saying so.  It has been turned into a simple word that means “extremism” in people’s minds.  It is defined as drinking, cussing or some other behavior.  If we have to stop sinning then we have to give up everything “fun.” 

But I have a different definition of sin.  It is anything that keeps you from your freedom to love God fully.  This is much deeper that our actions. Actions are an outward sign of a deeper issue.  We can numb ourselves with “sinful” activities so we never have to face the real matter, which is our relationship with God.  We were created for this relationship and when we are in it, we are on the road to complete freedom; freedom to fulfill our purposes, freedom to love completely and be loved with no barriers, freedom to be who we are without masks.  This amazing kind of freedom is something we only dream about secretly.  We never speak of it because we do not think it exists.  It is something we all search for deep inside.

So here is the analogy, sin comes in to one area of our lives. It can come with a big bang or with a simple thought.  Then it smolders behind the walls of our heart.  On the outside all is well, you would never know there was a fire at first, even though it is burning the structure of your life on the inside.  Then the smoke begins spread.  Now sin is set in motion to permeate every fiber of your being, and I mean every fiber.  You cannot escape the smell.  Many times we think that one area of our lives will not affect another area…that is a lie.  If your heart is burning, your life is burning.  On the outside, now it is becoming obvious that something is wrong because the smoke from the sin is toxic. Still externally there is no fire, just a stink that is a huge warning that something is deeply wrong, and if ignored the flame will overtake your life.  Somewhere in this process the sinful behaviors are picked up to numb what is obvious...your heart is on fire.  So behaviors are not really the issue at all, they are merely an outward sign that you are not experiencing the freedom you dream of. 

The question is how far the sin will go.  Will you allow it to destroy your whole life or will you call 911 at the first warning sign?   This is a picture of salvation yes…but also a reminder of how repentance works.  When we fall in an area, or have a bad attitude it begins to burn us up. Usually a thought is all it takes to put the sin into action.  When we realize our area of separation we cry out to God and he comes in and puts out the fire. It is that simple, he stops the destruction we bring upon ourselves.   

The impossibility of keeping ourselves sin free quickly becomes overwhelming as we live our lives.  We can try to stop the fire, but it just keeps breaking out all over the place…it travels throughout the house popping up in a seemingly random fashion. Jesus is the only one that can prevent this from happening again and again.  It is in relationship, not outward behavior, that we find our true freedom. It is in our surrender that he finds a “sweet smelling sacrifice.”  I don’t know about you but anyone that can take the putrid stench of my sin and turn it into a sweet smelling sacrifice is someone I want to know deeply.  He knows the fibers that are woven into my life and how they smell, yet he loves me anyway.  That thought brings the beginnings of freedom if you can get your mind around it.  We do not have to do it alone.  True freedom is not a fairy tale, it really exists…now that is a nugget! 

Honey...today is 22 years!  Wow it seems like much longer :)  We have been through some tough stuff and continue to find ourselves in traumatic circumstances.  What a blessing you have been to me through it all!  I would marry you again in a heart beat.    You are my best bud and my sweetheart!  Who would have thought that two years ago we spent our anniversary in a hospital and now we are cleaning up fire damage?  You have to admit what we have is pretty special...not to mention smoking hot!  I love you!

     Today we got a lot done.  The cleaning crew came to tell us what they do.  What a relief...they clean every single thing in the house. They will move out the entire downstairs, including clothes, curtains, linens...everything.  They take it to their warehouse and clean it then store it for us until we are ready to move it back in.  Amazing work.  Then we talked to a builder that is ready to get started next week.  We talked to the insurance adjustor and then went looking for houses to rent.  It was a very busy, but productive day.  I am beginning to see things moving forward towards recovery.  We have some organizing to do before the movers come on Monday but other than that they handle it all.  We think we have found a house to rent in Helen.  Thanks to all of you that sent us numbers and names.  We are still looking for something not in Helen, since the fall is the worst traffic time there...however, this house will work if we do not find anything else.  The people were very understanding and gave us a great deal..insurance will appreciate that since they are paying.  I do not think we will find anything as good anywhere else but there is one off of 129 that is closer but we do not know if it is furnished or not. We will check it out but if doesn't work out we will be in Helen.  Bill of course is looking for houses with theatre rooms and pool tables.  Ha...all the ones he has found are  $1800 per WEEK.  Crazy. 
     We are still looking for someplace to get our instruments cleaned up. We have drums, four acoustic guitars, three electric guitars, two saxophones, one trumpet, one flute, keyboards, piano, and amps for the electric stuff.  Alot of stuff to clean. The cleaning service will clean them but doesn't specialize in musical instruments...they basically wipe them down.  We need someone who can really take them appart and be sure the water and smoke soot is removed.  My Aunt Betty has given us a few possible places but if anyone knows something close by please let me know.
All in all a good day today.  We are going to the house in the morning first thing to start sorting.  If anyone wants to swing by to help feel free.  You might want to call one of us to make sure we are there...just in case we step out.  If you come you might want to bring a mask, and some really old clothes...you will stink when you leave.  There is standing water so you need good shoes for that.  Hannah has the most sorting because she is going off to college. 
     We also need prayers for the kids. Peter came into bed with me tonight saying he wants to go home.  He has been gone to camp and he says he just wants to sleep in his own bed.  He has always had a fear that someone was going to burn our house down...and he said now he knows its possible for it to burn.  Fear is creeping up.  I am thankful that he is expressing it.  Hannah is not sleeping.  She says she doesn't feel stressed and cannot figure out why she cannot sleep.  When you internalize trauma, insomnia is the result.  I told her that even though she doesn't feel stressed that she is.  College coming up, no clothes, room destroyed...just a little stress here.  So please continue to pray as the reality starts to sink in for us all. 

     More than one person has noted my blog title "Nuggets from the Fire" and wondered what will be the nugget from this experience.  So far my deep and meaningful nugget is that if hell smells anything like my toxic smoke permeating our house you don't want to go there.  No joke...it is a putrid smell now that the mildew has started from the 2 inches of water on the floor.  Yuck.  What a mess.  I plan to keep you updated on developments here as well as insights when I get them...I am sure there will be some along the way. 
      Currently, we are going to meet the cleaning company today to determine what is able to be saved and what is a total loss.  This will help us alot in knowing how to proceed and what their timeline will be.  We are still looking for a furnished house that will hold 6...we will probably need it for at least 3 to 6 months, maybe more.  If you know of one call me.  We also hope to meet with a builder today to see what he thinks about how long it will take to rebuild.  The adjustor may also be coming today...so this is a big day as far as finding our next steps.
     As far as we go, the kids seem to be taking it all in stride.  Hannah has offered to live with friends the next several weeks if that would make it easier to find a smaller house.  That is sweet for her to offer but I do not want my last few weeks before she leaves for college to be apart from her.  Aaron has continued with his usual activities and seems to be fine.  William is a bit quiet about all of it and seems bothered to go to the house to sort through the stuff.  I think he is going to be fine but he is handling it differently in his usual "march to your own drummer" sort of way.  Peter is still at camp.  I went by and told him yesterday and his comment was "I missed the firetrucks?"  He may feel differently when he sees his room today!  We will be picking him up from camp this morning.  Fortunately for him he has 2 weeks of clothes with him!  The rest of us are rotating 3 or so outfits until they determine if our clothes can be saved...the smell in all of them is horrible. 
     Bill and I are exhausted from the adrinaline.  I recognize this kind of tired from when Bill was in the hospital years ago.  You wake up tired and sore from the stress of having to operate in crisis mode all the time.  One good thing is that our family transitions into crisis mode quite easily because of all of our traumas!  I am sure once we have plan some of that will get better.  Right now I am not sleeping all the way through the night.  I crash hard when I go to bed but when I wake up in the early morning hours I cannot go back to sleep for the list in my head of all that needs to be done.  I also am having a headache that will not quit.  I think it is from the smoke maybe.  We wear masks when we are at the house but it is still hard to breathe and our eyes burn...yuck.  We are taking one step at a time...hey, maybe this is another live in the moment lesson. Right now is all I have...cannot go back...cannot go forward in time...just right now.  We are making the best of it all.  Thanks for your prayers.  Hopefully today we will learn more about what is needed for all of you that are asking.  We love you all!

There is never a dull moment at our house.  Anyone that has known us for very long already knows this fact about our family.  Well tonight is no exception...there was a storm.  Lightning hit a tree next to our house.  While we were inside looking out the window at the damage to the tree, I smelled smoke.  You guessed it...the house was on fire.  So we are now living with Bill's parents until we figure out how long we will be out of a home.  The damage was mostly water and smoke all over, and the flame damage was limited to one side of the house. I keep telling myself, it is only stuff, it is only stuff. We all made it out safe and the dogs got out as well.  The smoke was quite toxic and once we realized it was in the house not the tree outside we called 911.  It took 5 hours for them to get the fire out.  I watched them go in with the wall hook, then the ax and then the chainsaw.  :(   I knew they were destroying my house. They took a hose through the kitchen and through the play room so they could squirt from top and bottom.  Smoke billowed out all the doors for hours.  It was sad to watch.  However, we had wonderful neighbors and family that came to the rescue.  The house will be a mess for weeks probably as we tear out carpet, walls and ceilings, but it is all fixable.  We are grateful and blessed to be here and once again watch God preserve our lives.