I slide out of my bed and pull on my yellow shorts and striped yellow and white tank top. My bare feet pad quietly out of the bedroom. He sits on the porch. Watching the waves roll in. Never a coffee drinker, his hands instead caress his camera. Dad. Taking in the sunrise with his … Continue reading The Small Things
Family
Sister Tattoos (Part 2)
Four years ago, Melinda and I got sister tattoos as part of our caregiver journey. I wrote about it here. Back then, we marked our hard journey; etched it on our bodies as a way to memorialize the love between Mom and Dad. Dementia was taking its toll and Dad was a weary knight in … Continue reading Sister Tattoos (Part 2)
Bracing Myself
Me among the daffodils as a child. When grieving, I know to brace myself for the “firsts” …first holiday season, first Mother’s Day, first Father’s Day, etc… This Friday will be Mom’s birthday. She would have been 86. My photo memories have already sent me last year’s pictures of her birthday celebration. My heart was … Continue reading Bracing Myself
I Believe in Thank Yous
I believe in thank yous. Showing appreciation is such a small thing, but it can have big results. And, it is not hard to do. Simple really. Try it. Say thank you to someone today and watch their face light up. It has to be genuine and your face must show that you are indeed … Continue reading I Believe in Thank Yous
Blank Page (update)
I keep a note in my phone. When I think of a topic or a phrase, or something or another jumps out at me, I jot it down on a list of sorts, so I won’t forget. When I am writing, I open this note and scan it for ideas. It refreshes my creativity and … Continue reading Blank Page (update)
Hole in My Soul
I lost my voice. No talking for several days, shouting to create a whisper. Just as well. I haven’t had much to say lately. No words, at least. Lots of feelings. None that I can really describe. Turns out, a week or so of silence is just what I needed. There is no pressure to … Continue reading Hole in My Soul
Dad’s Eulogy
Sunday we laid Dad to rest right next to Mom. It was a cold, but sunny day. The service was beautiful and Dad would have been pleased to see his friends and family in attendance. We know because of the cold weather and the holidays, many who would have liked to attend could not. Therefore, … Continue reading Dad’s Eulogy
Fear and Anxiety
I have a very physical reaction to fear and anxiety. I’m not sure this was always true, but life has brought me a significant number of traumatic events and therefore, when I am nervous for any reason, my heart rate climbs, my hands sweat, and my breathing gets shallow. My stomach does flips with butterflies … Continue reading Fear and Anxiety
Surrender
I had never seen Dad afraid of anything…until Mom got sick. I saw him set his chin with trembling lips. I saw him stand and smile with tearful eyes. I saw him shore himself up with heavy shoulders. Watching him anticipate each new loss was like watching him lose part of himself. Every time Mom … Continue reading Surrender
Tossing and Turning
I can’t sleep. Tossing and turning, turns to wandering thoughts, turns to climbing out of bed and into my writing chair. The little girl inside of me speaks up. She reminds me that when she couldn’t sleep, Dad would let her climb onto his lap in his chair. It was a Lazy Boy that creaked … Continue reading Tossing and Turning
Michelle's Mosaic 