The rapport between teacher and student is a sacred thing. It is hard won…over time. It cannot be rushed. It cannot be faked. It is trust that shows up time and time again, until mutual respect is achieved. Building rapport is something all great teachers do. It is an intangible skill that can’t exactly be taught in “teacher” school. Talking about it is different than actually creating it with students. Every classroom is different. Every year a new crop of students. Every year new challenges with behavior, student interactions, curriculum, schedules, standards, administration and legislation.

However, back in the corner of every classroom, Rapport sits, waiting for the opportunities that walk through the door. The teacher. The students. Those relationships that are the key to it all. Rapport is the very foundation of all attempts at learning. Without a close and harmonious relationship saturated with understanding and communication, we might as well close the doors.

Rapport builds confidence. It takes down walls. It treats everyone with dignity. You can spot classrooms with expert teachers who build rapport. The students will not hesitate to speak up. They listen to one another. They listen to the teacher. They include different viewpoints. They behave in ways more like a family, than a classroom. They tease one another. Yes. They challenge each other, too. They do not always get along, but they know they are in a safe space to be true to their ideas, even when they don’t like each other much.

My students hid my white board markers. I knew they did it. They knew that I knew, but it was a game. I feigned surprise and shock that my markers were missing. They tried their best to put on straight faces as if they had no idea where the markers were. (Third graders aren’t very good at straight faces.) In the end, the markers were in a box hidden under the reading table, we all decided a leprechaun must have put them there. I took this ruse as the highest compliment. It was an indicator that my students felt safe enough with me to risk tricking me and they knew I would respond with laughter. It meant they trusted me and it warmed my heart.

This kind of rapport doesn’t stay in the classroom, or even with the teacher who builds it. That’s the beautiful thing about it…to create more rapport it has to be given away. It is like a seed scattered, putting down roots wherever it lands. It is nourished by love and care until it blooms.

I didn’t know Jason Hughes and I don’t know Jayden Wallace or any of the other students involved in the Hall County tragedy. What I do know is they had rapport. How do I know this you ask? Because they rolled his house. I know from personal experience, that you roll the houses of the people you like best. Your favorites. It is no fun to roll a stranger’s house, or even someone you don’t like. The fun comes in when you are in it together, like my students hiding my markers. These seniors were coming to roll the coach’s house. He knew they were coming, and they knew he knew. It was part of the game. He came out, not to rage against them, but to “catch” them. A game of affection for one another.

The tragic turn of events was horrific. An accident of monumental proportions. He deeply loved them and they deeply loved him. It couldn’t be a worse situation for anyone involved. Suddenly the game went horribly wrong. The outcome cannot be changed. It is permanent. Lives are changed forever.

But one thing didn’t change. Rapport. What had been built over years, remained. The abiding respect and love between the teacher and his students cannot be broken. They have learned too much from him to walk away in the hard places. Their time with him has ended, but not with his lessons. Not with his trust and belief in them. Especially now, the students will lean into the rapport he built with them. The value in them he cultivated. The care and compassion he showed them will spill out in the dark days ahead. When they are misunderstood. When they are talked about. When their futures seem so unknown and bleak. The time he took then will benefit them now, if they can see themselves as he saw them.

The sacred bond, the intangible gift of rapport building will stand strong. The community feels it even now. Showing care and dignity to each other in the midst of such tragedy. The love poured out in all directions is a testimony to the great teacher Coach Hughes was. His fingerprints are on the hearts of so many students with whom he built relationships over the years. None will forget that effort on his part. From what I have read, rapport building was his faith in action and what he poured into others will continue to grow well into the future.

God,

Sometimes all we can say is help. Help the families. Help the students. Give your peace as only you can. Step beyond our understanding and meet us where we are; with no answers; no reasons. Just allow us to feel your presence wrapped around us. That we may know your comfort in our time of need. Settle our racing thoughts. Give us grace to get through the coming weeks. Do your work as only you can. Amen.