Addiction is a quiet burden for families. It comes with a truckload of heartache for all those touched by it. Suffering in silence as your loved one goes down a path of self-destruction can break you because there is nothing you can do. Not one thing. This guest blog by Melinda, describes the difficulty our family faced and our love for our brother.

A Good Man named Michael

By Melinda Jenkins

How do you separate a man from his addiction?

This is a complex question. Likely it is one that many other families, like ours, have wrestled with over the years. My big brother was a good man. His life was filled with generosity, a strong work ethic, and a love of family and friends. However, even early in his life, addiction took hold. He fought it, and for much of his life it was in the background rather than the foreground. But it was always present. There were times (in my childhood and adulthood) that addiction overpowered him. He tried to love through it, and at times this seemed to work. But the complexity of addiction causes heartache.

As a family (with Mom and Dad as the driving force) we have always attempted to love Michael unconditionally. This makes for a difficult balance…love and boundaries. Boundaries are necessary when dealing with an addict. They are a form of love, but sticking to those boundaries is exceedingly difficult, especially for a loving father. Dad being the “fixer” spent his entire life, loving Michael fully, but trying to “fix” his addiction. Here’s the thing our family has learned; addiction can’t be “fixed” by an outsider, even one who loves as fiercely as my Dad loved his son.

Michael had moments of sobriety. During those times, he loved his family fiercely in his own ways. When sober, he leaned on his faith and for that we are grateful. Faith has always been a cornerstone in our family. Mom prayed that the Lord would intervene and heal Michael all of her life. She struggled at times, really wrestling with the fact that this heartfelt prayer was not answered in the way she had hoped it would be. We all struggled with that fact. What I have learned is this; We don’t always get the answer to prayer that we want. We, as a family, wanted Michael to overcome his addiction. We sent up countless intercessory prayers at times when he was unable to pray for himself. We hoped, against all hope, that he would be able to overcome addiction, rejoin the family, live happy and healthy with us and enjoy his retirement. We did not get the ending we prayed for and that is hard.

So now I find myself trying to separate the good man, my brother, from the addition that overcame him. I will do this in my usual short and concise way.

Michael William Hunter- 8/29/60- 10/16/25- 65 years old

• Deep thinker
• Provider
• Family man
• Generous man
• Astute businessman
• Sports Enthusiast
• Lover of nature
• Observer of the stars
• World traveler
• Friend to many
• Father to 3 (Liane, David and Kara)
• Brother to 2 (Michelle and Melinda)
• Son to 2 (Mike and Martha)

Michael’s oldest daughter Liane recently said, “If love cured addiction, then he would never have been an addict.” No truer words have been spoken.

I love you, Michael. Give Mom and Dad big hugs from us all!

Your little sister,

Melinda

Our family has endured great loss, so much loss in such a short time. Please keep us all in your prayers.