As of today, I have reached 19 post-cancer bonus years. I continue to be amazed of all that I carry from my journey through Cancerland. Nothing can teach me hard lessons like a hard road, and the 19 years cancer free, is the trade-off for all pain of that horrible time.

With lots of tears, I am leaving Mom and Dad behind in 2024. I would not trade the journey we walked together for anything. It was a beautiful horrible 7 year-long winding path and a lovely terrible week-long climb. Both roads took their toll. I go into 2025 with lots of sweet memories and life lessons to carry forward.

• Live fully. This is still my motto 19 years after cancer taught me how brief life can be. Every single day is an opportunity to live the fullest life possible.
• Be grateful. Every breath is a gift. Celebrate them.
• Be present. It is easy to be together but still distracted. Put down the phone. Connect. You will not regret it.
• Maintain proximity. Being close enough to get together is more important than you might think.
• Make time. I didn’t realize how much time I spent with Dad each week until he was gone. Lots of empty spaces now, but I am so glad I made the time when he was here.
• Show up. Similar to making time, showing up for Mom and Dad was important for them, but now I am seeing how important it was for me to be there with them.
• Keep promises. Saying I will handle something for him and then following through leaves me knowing I took some anxiety off his plate instead of adding to it.
• Laugh together. Sometimes laughing is the best way to handle the most difficult circumstances. We had so many laughs over these past few years. I will always remember them.
• Be honest. Talking about fun is good, but being honest about the hard things is also therapeutic.
• Protect one another. In an emotional place, it is important to stand in the gap for each other. There is always one person in need of hugs.
• Pray for each other. No way to do hard roads without prayer. God held us up and gave us the strength to make it through.
• Talk about memories. Not just because Mom needed reminding. We needed to remember who we were long ago, to help us carry on in the present.
• Open your hands. Trying to desperately hold onto what you cannot control is a lesson in futility. The most difficult part of any hardship is recognizing that letting go is the only way to reduce the burden.
• Make time for yourself. If you are the patient, or if you are the caregiver, or if you are just living your life, keeping balance and caring for your own health is a sign of emotional intelligence.
• Seek help. Hard roads are rough. Talking to someone about it can make all the difference in the load you carry.
• Look up. No matter if you have a terrible disease, or are watching someone die from a terrible disease, keeping your chin up helps. Look above, not below. No matter the storm, if you look at the waves you will sink.  
• Carry on. It is a new year. The old has gone. The new has come. Step into 2025 with hope that cannot be quenched.