Our new book is gaining some traction and we have been invited to speak in different locations. Our first presentation was for a group of Parkinson’s patients and their caregivers. I was a bit nervous, but excited to get this book into the hands of caregivers who need it. I made the drive to Greenville with a sense of anticipation, a box of books in my car, and a desire for it to be received by those who are on the front lines of the caregiving journey. 

The setting was an acute rehab facility for those who need specialized care. The goal of these kinds of inpatient facilities is to provide services, which patients need to return to daily life. Accidents, diseases, and injuries can land you in a rehab facility. It serves as a place between the hospital and home. They provide PT, OT, counseling, and other services to strengthen and help patients adapt to their new normal.  

I was buzzed into the lobby where we were to meet with the Director of Social Services. When I stepped through the sliding door my heart did a flip flop. It was a flashback to Bill’s time in rehab after his accident. It was a piercing feeling in my chest. My legs wanted to flee, but they were stuck to the floor not moving. My stomach was in knots. Sudden nausea. My heart rate climbed. My breathing shallowed. Tears welled up in my eyes and my throat tightened. Well, this was unexpected! Surprise! All the emotions I thought were healed and sealed came flooding back in one second flat!

I smiled at the woman behind the desk and managed to ask which way to the rest room. Once in the safety of the stall, I had to take some deep breaths and wait for my body and mind to regulate. Unaddressed trauma, perhaps?  PTSD? Unhealed emotion? Whatever it was, I was taken aback. It never occurred to me that talking to people about the caregiver’s journey would cause flashbacks. Or that the look and smell of a rehab facility would trigger the past. It only lasted a few minutes, but it felt much longer.

Back in the lobby, I waited for Melinda to arrive and we were ushered into the cafeteria where our presentation would be. The computer was set up, the white board was in place, the chairs and tables were arranged. Soon patients began to arrive with their caregivers. Many came from outside the facility, now outpatients. Some came from upstairs, still inpatients. Husbands caring for wives and wives caring for husbands. Some on the journey for over 10 years so far. Others just beginning in the earlier stages.

They were receptive. They listened intently. We read the room. We saw tears in the eyes of some caregivers. We saw exhaustion. We saw acceptance. We saw anxiety. We saw heartache. A full gamut of emotion right in front of us.

When the time for questions came, there were some excellent ones. It was then, that I realized that the episode in the lobby was a precursor to the emotional connection I would have with them. The sorrow. The hard places they are living…that we are living. The day to day grind of being there for someone who is dependent on you. The reality that they are not who they were. That you are their voice, even when they don’t know they need one.

This book promotion is tapping into old emotions, as well as some current ones. It is a good way for me to connect to the audience. A reminder that the hard things we live with are helpful to others, who are living similar lives. I am sure I will revisit some of these tender places, as we go forward. Places I thought were long ago healed. Yet, healed or not, they are helpful reminders of what it is like to walk alongside those who are living in brokenness. To touch my own scars and to feel the sharp edges of my broken heart from that time, is a reminder of the importance of compassion.

Our book is meant to be a compassionate companion along the caregiving journey. A safe place to go to get encouragement and to process the deep feelings that come along with the long road. It is our hope, those who need it most will find lift as they read and write in this journal. It cannot be overstated how draining it is to be a long-term caregiver. In every way, emotional, spiritual, and physical it seems life is being sucked from you. We are attempting to pour life back into those who are running on fumes. If you know someone who needs our book, pay it forward and give it as a gift. You can find it on Amazon.

Upcoming events for us are:

• Time with Teepa (being interviewed October 4th by Teepa Snow, an expert on compassionate dementia care)
• The Decatur Book Festival (October 5^th on the square in Decatur Come see us!)
• Lanier Village Estates (speaking October 6th at their Chapel service)

There are more events in the works, so stay tuned! If you would like us to come share with a group, you can contact either of us to set it up. If you are reading the book, please consider leaving us a review on Amazon. It would greatly help our exposure if we had tons of reviews…and it’s free to write one!