These are the days we live in. The days of stress and the unknown. Hard days. Heavy days. Outraged days. It’s enough to make my blood pressure rise and my head throb. Running away crosses my mind often, but my feet stay put. My feet know that running away is not a good solution but a way to make things worse. My mind doesn’t really want to run away anyway, it just wants relief. But these are the days we live in. Real. Hard. Days.

Yet, it is our time. The time we had no choice to be born into. The time chosen for us. And here we are. We cannot deny it. We were made for this. But I question that statement most days. I don’t feel made for this. I feel weak. I feel tired. I feel overwhelmed. I have deep and raw feelings riding on my shoulder. They are close to the surface and out where anyone can see them. I feel off balance, like I will tip over at any moment. Like falling over might be a welcome option, so I can lie down and rest. However, resting isn’t really going to change much at this time because nothing around me is going to change much. So, instead, I put one foot in front of the other and walk an invisible path to who knows where. These are the days.

I have learned when times are challenging, to go back to what I know. I have lived enough life that I can remember what worked before…the last time I was overwhelmed. My hope cannot be in circumstances, or fixes, or plans, or possibilities. It cannot be in anything or anyone. It can only be in God. I know this from experience. Even when I am grasping for it, I know that my hope cannot even be in hope itself, it can only be in God. He is the only one with the power to uplift me. The only power that matters in my circumstances. He is the one who knows the timing. He is the one who knows the answers to the hard questions. The only one who knows all the threads that are trying to tie me down.

These are not the days we imagined. They are not all sunshine and rainbows. Yet, they are where we are living. Put here, “for such a time as this” …as it is written. The hope I have is equivalent to the trust I have. Is God trustworthy with such heavy days? Can he carry the burden if I hand it over to him? Will he “fix” what needs to be fixed? Will he show up for me? Can I trust his timing? Can I put away my own thoughts and plans? Will he rescue me and those I love? The answer is always yes. Always.