A couple of weeks ago at church during worship, I felt the Lord speak to my heart.  He asked me, “Will you be transparent in your worship?  Will you allow my glory to show in your life?”  My answer was, “Yes, of course.”  I was caught up in the moment and feeling grateful for my improved health, otherwise I might have hesitated. I have found that usually when God asks an opened ended question it is best to consider what he is asking of you before answering.  This case was no different. 

He asked me, “Will you worship me on Easter…without your wig?  Will you allow others to see me glorified as you worship me…bald?”  Now wait just a minute!  I have been transparent through this journey.  I have written from the heart and not held back my tears or deepest fears.  I did what I felt he asked of me…but this?  I did not know if I could.  I am a behind the scenes person and do not like to be noticed. 

He assured me that this step of obedience would bring him glory.  I was infused with the desire to follow his words to me.  I had peace that he was asking me to do this for a reason.  I saw that the hair, or lack thereof, has become a symbol…like a badge of honor.  It excitedly declares, “I have made it!  I survived!  God raised me from this disease of death and given me life!  I have come out of the tomb!”  To worship him in this moment, with abandon, while all those around me watch, is a testimony to his glory.  He was asking me to step out of my comfort zone and to demonstrate his power by becoming a picture…a picture of his strength in the midst of trial.  He wants me to be seen and he wants me to speak the words he has given.  I agreed.

Today, as I prepared for church I was getting nervous.  I asked my children if it would embarrass them for me to go “wig-less.”  They all encouraged me to do it.  It was cold, so I thought I would find a hat to “keep my head warm.” Indecision was winning the battle.  It had been so clear just a couple of weeks ago, but now it seemed silly.  Then, in a moment of strength, I got in the car and drove away…no wig, no hat, no looking back.  I was nervous. In Sunday school, Bill came to my rescue, sitting by my side and holding my hand.  Then in church, I was able to sing with my hands raised and tears flowing.  I sang of death and resurrection with new meaning in the words.

  I felt a new beauty radiate from me…his beauty.  It did not matter what was happening around me, because I was caught up in worship with him. Afterwards, many people came to hug me.  I guess the hair is a reminder that I have been sick.  Some thanked me, some rubbed my head, some congratulated me, and some were in tears.  It was interesting to hear and watch the reactions that were so different from other weeks.  I had the chance to speak of MY resurrection Sunday and the symbol of new life repeatedly. It was a wonderful Easter to step into something new God has done in my life.  It was my coming out party…out of the tomb!