I had my CT scan.  All went well.  I only had to be stuck once…which is a tribute to the power of your prayers!  Any time I have an IV it is a trauma…not this time.  This scan is a baseline.  It is a comparison for future scans…that is all…they say.  I on the other hand have that hovering thought in my brain.  You know, the “what if.”  I am pushing it away because I won’t know the results of the scan until Monday of next week.  But that is a long time to push…  I won’t lie to you, I have anxiety about it.  I know what they say but they have said that every step of the way… “we don’t expect it to be anything, we don’t expect it to be outside the uterus, we don’t expect you will need chemo”…you get the idea.  So now the battle is in my head, yet again.  I am meditating on scripture that says “plans to prosper you and not harm you” and “he goes before you and will never leave you or forsake you.”  That puts the doubts and fears way back there…in the corner.  I wish I could say they are gone…but that wouldn’t be the transparent truth. His definition of prosper and harm are different than mine. So there are fears and hopes…side by side… you know me,  I am all about that transparency thing.  J