I discovered my secret place many years ago when Bill was in the hospital.  It is a place that was born out of desperation.  You know, when the only prayer you can utter is “Help!”  It is the place where I give it all up and cry out to God and he, in his faithful way, comes in and carries me.  Like the child in the storm yesterday, I rest in this place.  I am at peace as I listen to the Father’s heart for me.  In this place I hear his voice.  I know his love and grace.   

Over the years I have found that this place isn’t just for traumatic times…though it is especially sweet then.  I can go there whenever I sit and rest in the Lord.  Worship transports me there.  Prayer is another way to find it.  I think that God wants us to sit and wait on him.  He just wants to be with us because his love for us is so great.  If I wait on him, he comes to me.  He lets me lean on his chest and hear his heartbeat of compassion for me, for others, and for the world.  It is amazing that the creator of the universe wants to spend time with me and it is then that I see and hear from him.  It is then that I am quiet and in the silence he speaks.  My secret place is a treasure that was discovered in the midst of a storm.  There were no words.  There was no strength…only tears. I thank God for that storm and the secret place it revealed that I can go to in every storm that has followed…including this one.

After yesterday’s storm what a beautiful day today!  Fall is here and that is my favorite time of the year.  God is so faithful to bring us through the rough stuff.  Today my dad came home from the hospital.  He is doing well and I am glad of that. I worked a full day today.  Tomorrow I get to learn how to give myself insulin shots…yeah! (Chemo makes my blood sugar go up for a couple of days.)  On and on it goes this medical nightmare of mine.  Bill says it is so I will realize that I can do anything.  I figure he’s right.  If I can give myself shots I can do anything, since needles are my most hated enemy!  I know that I will do what I have to because…I have to.  Thursday I have to have more blood work.  If my white count is too low I will have to have more shots…are you getting the theme here???  (Maybe there is a metaphor?)  That could delay my next treatment a week or so.  My prayer is that all my counts are good so I can go in Monday as scheduled for my next treatment…without more shots!